I'm a genius!
I've discovered this nifty thing you can do when you run out of clothes / don't want to wear any: get a blanket, preferably an afghan-type one with lots of little holes, and wrap it around yourself like a towel. Except with a twist - hold it centered in front of yourself, then sort of walk into the middle of it. Wrap the sides around yourself until the two top corners go from the front to the back and come back to the front again. Then tie them in a knot behind your head (don't do this too tight or you'll strangle yourself) kind of like a halter top. This will keep it from falling down.
The result: a dress-like thing that allows you almost the full nude experience, complete with really low back and lots of ventilation, but keeps your naked butt from touching everything you sit on and your wiener (if you're a dude) from flopping around everywhere like some kind of malformed limb. Doesn't really cover anything though. :\