Ironically, I think life is two unhealthy extremes.
To loosely paraphrase the Bible there is the person who says they are without sin (who "deceives themselves") basically an arrogant jerk who can never admit their faults. Alot of the reason people shy away from churches is because there are entirely too many moral Pharisee types here. This is why Jesus, if they were here today, probably wouldn't attend church.
But that's not the whole story. One of the first things God says after humans eat that fruit (it's not actually an apple), is "who told you that you were naked?" Now this sounds like a throwaway line but it's not. The implication here is that (without the fruit) they would not have a superego telling them "I'm naked, I should be ashamed!" Honestly, guilt's most of
sin right there,
not the action itself.
In science, the superego is often held up as a moral paragon, while the id and ego are looked upon as lesser drives. But tbh, if we had a little less misplaced guilt and more "this was definitely wrong, but I'll see what I can do" less people would commit suicide. Which is why I don't share your optimism about people who show regret dying or being punished. Yes they shouldn't be, but honestly, most punishment is actually self-inflicted.
From my life, 2/3 of it was, despite
not being Catholic (like the link above), a struggle with working to prove myself, constantly falling short, and feeling miserable led me to an eventual struggle with depression. It was only after I read two secular books (why I don't believe in "holy" books anymore, my healing was not from the hotel Gideon but from the psych section) which helped me significantly:
When Panic Attacks and
The Gifts of Imperfection. Both were saying exactly the same thing, that humans spend entirely too much energy trying to be perfect, and measure up to others.
For my work the day before Thanksgiving, we had to mark notecards with a green dot and stick them into packs or 20. Between OCD counting and recounting these damned cards for quantity, and and the fact that my coworker seemed to be flying through this while my hands were fumbling through each card trying to unstick them from the pile, it was slow going. I got screwed up precisely because I started to compare myself to her. But the point is, I was thankful we got the job done regardless.
It's easy to beat yourself up and
stuff but that's part of despair.