Author Topic: Awesomism: The Religion  (Read 9327 times)

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Awesomism: The Religion
« on: March 20, 2009, 11:58:55 pm »
So, I've been questioning my religious leanings, but can't find a religion that suits my tastes.
I figure that the best solution is thus: create my own.

So far I have this:

In the beginning Awesome God had a really cool idea. The idea was thus: create an awesome world filled with awesome things like bears, volcanoes, calzones, and heavy metal.

However, Awesome God knew that it wouldn't work. For he would have to create free-willed beings to enjoy this awesome world, and he knew they wouldn't be able to appreciate the awesome. So instead of created Awesome Universe he created this universe, which is filled with lame things like disease, sexual frustration, and the laws of physics. This is all to get people to see how lame things could be, and thus prepare their hearts for the greatness to come in the next life.

If you're cool enough (and righteous enough), you get to go to Awesome Heaven when you die. If you aren't righteous, you instead go to Awesome Hell, which isn't that bad of a place either. Awesome Heaven and Awesome Hell have totally epic battles together with giant robots and ninjas and level 20 fireballs and everything.

For those really nice people who tried their best to be good, but weren't awesome or anything get to go to Boring Heaven, which is a nice fluffy-cloud-and-green-field type of place, and is really cool to chill out, but isn't like having excitement or parties or anything.

If you're just a douchebag you go to Awful Hell, which consists of various eternal tortures, as usual for hell.

Then there's Limbo, which is for people who just don't care about the battle between Good and Evil and just want to chill out, have a drink or two, and play video games.

The good news is if you go to any of these places after you die, it's not set in stone! Yes, even a lowly jerk in Awful Hell can learn to be really cool and totally righteous and work his way to Awesome Heaven!


So, do you think I could get converts? I'm thinking of making some pamphlets to pass out.

Hans

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2009, 01:22:01 am »
Sounds like a mangaesk christian sect, with it's own interpretation of Matthew 09.29 "According to your faith be it unto you". With a little work all your ideas could be read into the bible.
Of course you could abstain from using an existing religion, but why do that when you can get a lot of tradition and work already done for free.

So just go on. Stranger things have been done with religion.

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2009, 01:48:23 am »
sign me up. after the incident i had at work last night ive done a fair bit to make up for any of my sins.
What good is dreaming it if you don't actually do it?.

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2009, 11:16:27 am »
Sounds like a mangaesk christian sect, with it's own interpretation of Matthew 09.29 "According to your faith be it unto you". With a little work all your ideas could be read into the bible.
Of course you could abstain from using an existing religion, but why do that when you can get a lot of tradition and work already done for free.

So just go on. Stranger things have been done with religion.

No, no, the Bible won't work, since it's silly to cherrypick from the Bible when other stuff disagrees with you.

It would be better to pen a new book, which I will entitle "The Tome of Ultimate Righteousness".

Admiral Apocolypto

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2009, 11:57:20 am »
No, no, the Bible won't work, since it's silly to cherrypick from the Bible when other stuff disagrees with you.
Hasn't stopped most religions ^_^

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2009, 12:42:54 pm »
No, no, the Bible won't work, since it's silly to cherrypick from the Bible when other stuff disagrees with you.
Hasn't stopped most religions ^_^

Yes, but other religions are not as Totally Sweet as Awesomism.

Hans

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2009, 01:29:57 pm »
No, no, the Bible won't work, since it's silly to cherrypick from the Bible when other stuff disagrees with you.
That's called Exegesis. Mostly every religion does it. Just ask any hardcore christ how he feels about selling his daughter into slavery, like it's explizitly allowed in Leviticus.

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It would be better to pen a new book, which I will entitle "The Tome of Ultimate Righteousness".
Of course that's also fine. It's a lot more work but if you want to do it don't let anyone stop you. Hubbard used that approach very successfully with scientology.
I just thought that "one creator God", "Heaven / Hell" and so on would very well fit to the Bible.
You could also look into Zoroastrianism for a good basis.

Quote
Yes, but other religions are not as Totally Sweet as Awesomism.
Just do it as you like. I only liked to share some thoughts. I'm absolutely not intending to say any "You have to ... " at all.

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2009, 01:44:26 pm »
That's called Exegesis. Mostly every religion does it. Just ask any hardcore christ how he feels about selling his daughter into slavery, like it's explizitly allowed in Leviticus.

At risk of dissolving the non-serious nature of this thread...I've always found that very silly. If religions can't follow their own books, it's silliness.

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Of course that's also fine. It's a lot more work but if you want to do it don't let anyone stop you. Hubbard used that approach very successfully with scientology.
I just thought that "one creator God", "Heaven / Hell" and so on would very well fit to the Bible.
You could also look into Zoroastrianism for a good basis.

Well, my real honest goal is to divorce the concept of "one creator god" away from all pre-conceived notions of such.
I dislike being pigeonholed by Abrahamic religions. I say "I believe in God, with a capital G, a supreme creator being", not a "higher power" or anything like that, God. But not the Christian, Jewish, or Muslim God.

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Just do it as you like. I only liked to share some thoughts. I'm absolutely not intending to say any "You have to ... " at all.

And they are much appreciated.

Pozf

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2009, 02:06:46 pm »
You might wanna add that being zealous to the point of assholery goes against being awesome... just a suggestion.

Edit: reread the thing because I was asleep last time i read your post

Then there's Limbo, which is for people who just don't care about the battle between Good and Evil and just want to chill out, have a drink or two, and play video games.

Fuck yes?!
« Last Edit: March 21, 2009, 02:08:17 pm by Pozf »
'Science is on the march. Don't get in its way.'

Hans

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2009, 02:12:53 pm »
At risk of dissolving the non-serious nature of this thread
Awwww, you are not serious about this?

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Well, my real honest goal is to divorce the concept of "one creator god" away from all pre-conceived notions of such.
I dislike being pigeonholed by Abrahamic religions. I say "I believe in God, with a capital G, a supreme creator being", not a "higher power" or anything like that, God. But not the Christian, Jewish, or Muslim God.
Which still leaves the Zoroastric god. Which is the oldest still existing monotheistic religion on earth. And most probably Ahura Mazda has inspired the Jews to go from "our god is the greatest" to "there is only one god" at the time of babylonian captivity. So Ahura Mazda is not really unrelated to I·H·V, but still different in a lot of aspects.

If you can come up wit an original concept, I would be really interested to see it. Monotheism has been chewed in almost any direction, so its hard to not have a copy of something at the end.

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2009, 02:14:58 pm »

You might wanna add that being zealous to the point of assholery goes against being awesome... just a suggestion.

Edit: reread the thing because I was asleep last time i read your post

It's negative karma, sure. No zealous religious people in the past hundred years or so get into Awesome Heaven or Awesome Hell.

Some of the badass religious leaders of ancient times would, though.


Awwww, you are not serious about this?

The First Awesome Commandment is never take things too seriously.  :P

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Which still leaves the Zoroastric god. Which is the oldest still existing monotheistic religion on earth. And most probably Ahura Mazda has inspired the Jews to go from "our god is the greatest" to "there is only one god" at the time of babylonian captivity. So Ahura Mazda is not really unrelated to I·H·V, but still different in a lot of aspects.

If you can come up wit an original concept, I would be really interested to see it. Monotheism has been chewed in almost any direction, so its hard to not have a copy of something at the end.


The point of Awesome God is it's like nothing you've ever seen before. Not some old guy with a lot of rules.
Also, part of the point of Awesomism is you don't base it on your pipe dreams and old books.
You base it on what is coolest.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2009, 02:20:41 pm by CrystalDragonSpaceMarine »

Pozf

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2009, 02:15:38 pm »
At risk of dissolving the non-serious nature of this thread...

Are you sure? We could totally go cult >.>
'Science is on the march. Don't get in its way.'

parameciumkid

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2009, 07:23:50 pm »
This religion sounds... - nvm, your brains don't deserve this. Okay, maybe some of them do; I'll say it - Awesome.
Hi.
I've been out for two years, so warn me if I act like I missed something obvious. ^^;

...oh, and to anyone who missed me, I'm open to hugs, kisses, and intense tearful cuddles.

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2009, 07:59:37 pm »
The Tome of Ultimate Righteousness will be in two Testaments.

The first will contain straight, practical advice and none of this cryptic, liable to be misinterpreted and taken out of context type stuff.

The second will be written much like the KJV and consist entirely of cool, quotable passages, possible set in narratives, fables, or other formats, but will strictly NOT be a source of dogma. Just a source of cold-blood shit to say to motherfuckers, and stuff like that.

UmberIsSexy

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #14 on: March 23, 2009, 08:41:47 am »
Is Epicness a measurable virtue?

How about having a battle steed?  Is that something Awesomists aspire to and respect in one another?

What's the main iconic symbol of the religion?

Oddball

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2009, 08:53:03 am »
well could be my avi since it apparently inspired some one to become Mod  ::)
What good is dreaming it if you don't actually do it?.

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #16 on: March 23, 2009, 11:11:52 am »
Is Epicness a measurable virtue?

Yes. But I haven't figured out the standard unit of measure yet.

Quote from: http://How about having a battle steed?  Is that something Awesomists aspire to and respect in one another?
How about having a battle steed?  Is that something Awesomists aspire to and respect in one another?

Steeds are indeed a sign of win. Whether they be kickass horses, or vehicles like motorcycles, biplanes, submarines, or winged octopi.
Though never underestimated the awesome of a man who Walks The Earth with his own two feet.

Quote
What's the main iconic symbol of the religion?

Most likely this.

« Last Edit: March 23, 2009, 12:44:46 pm by CrystalDragonSpaceMarine »

UmberIsSexy

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #17 on: March 23, 2009, 12:20:43 pm »
I got bounced from your exact link, so didn't get to see the logo :(

Instead of bake sales and holiday bazaars and stuff, what do Awesomeist churches do to fund raise?

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #18 on: March 23, 2009, 02:27:48 pm »
I got bounced from your exact link, so didn't get to see the logo :(

Changed it to show img instead.

Quote

Instead of bake sales and holiday bazaars and stuff, what do Awesomeist churches do to fund raise?

Piracy is the traditional method.


Hans

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #19 on: March 23, 2009, 03:34:23 pm »
Quote
Instead of bake sales and holiday bazaars and stuff, what do Awesomeist churches do to fund raise?
Piracy is the traditional method.
I like that.
Well, even there are historical prototypes. Though I can't name any one without doing some research.

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #20 on: March 23, 2009, 03:53:31 pm »
Naturally, we prefer the term "privateering" when dealing in politically correct circles.

Oddball

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #21 on: March 23, 2009, 04:10:05 pm »
What good is dreaming it if you don't actually do it?.

Admiral Apocolypto

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #22 on: March 23, 2009, 05:13:17 pm »
The problem with this religion is that it still has commandments.  I prefer Pastafarianism and it's eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts."

CrystalDragonSpaceMarine

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Re: Awesomism: The Religion
« Reply #23 on: March 23, 2009, 09:21:04 pm »
The problem with this religion is that it still has commandments.  I prefer Pastafarianism and it's eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts."

Which are for pussies who don't have the gonads to step up to the plate!

What, you think you can be awesome by just lounging about and not doing anything particularly hardcore!?

I mean, another Awesome Commandment is Don't Be A Pussy! Cuz Being a Pussy is NOT Awesome!!!??!?

TO THE EXTREEEM!!!!