Also looking for a reference I realize that most of my rubs, if not all at this point, happened before the "Nagelring" event, where Bern said she is willing to compromise, and May did tell Bern that she would never cheat on her again. For some reason I'm getting my time line mixed. I thought May told her that on the way to Bloody Mary, but she gave Crest the note saying that she would do anything to make Bern happy, with Crest thinking to himself that he'll need to keep an eye on her.
Really, thats what it comes down to. As I noted earlier, the issue with the slave and picture were the first time Bern was really confronted directly by Maytag's nature rather than given an excuse to ignore it, and it was the first time Maytag confronted her with it rather than circumvent her with lies. It wasn't even a discussion leading up to the event, it was Bern walking in on the act and then a conversation.
Since then we've had the "Nagelring" event where all the cards where finally laid out on the table. The promise by Maytag to commit to Bern and Make her Happy after Bern made a step to openly commit to Maytag rather than join the Knights, didn't cover the past and open up the lies they held between them. After Nagelring, Maytag finally knew that Bern had suppressed her feelings rather than confronted Maytag and Bern had confirmation of Maytag's ways and that she wasn't simply going through a phase. Before that it could be any relationship with a partner who willfully cheats while the other stays willfully ignorant. Dishonesty all round.
Since Nagelring we've seen the girls have a number of open conversations about their relationship and topics such as nudity, sex with others and a few other points. They've been at odds on the subjects but I can't really note any point where either wasn't willing to listen and understand the other's feelings in such cases.
Both Maytag and Bern need to share responsibility for entering into this relationship and allowing it to continue until they fell in love. Bern knew Maytag was the kind of girl who would fool around on her but kept it to herself rather than confront Maytag and let her know her expectations and ideals. Meanwhile, Maytag knew Bern wanted a committed relationship and may leave her if she knew Maytag wanted an open relationship, but instead of confronting Bern with that, worked to decieve her and cheat with others.
While Many argue that Bern has no right to demand that Maytag conform to her code of relationship conduct, I argue that she has just as much right as Maytag has to ask that Bern conform to her code of relationship conduct. But, of course, if they had been open and honest at the beginning, they likely wouldn't have formed a strong bond and enough committment to both work towards the compromisation and understanding they are now where they've come to love so many of the differences in each other.
*********************
On Suspira... Well... Really, you can understand them openly attacking her a bit since Kin was well loved. She was given some sympathy before but now she's seen to have moved on, some of them see it as a slight against Kin's memory to move on that quickly.
While I can understand that Suspira's actions or encouragement got Kin into the situation and her wreckless use of magic left Bloody Mary to attack later, I think it also needs to be understood that Kin was a mature man who knew what he was getting into. He choose to follow Suspira to the town and he also walked away from the crater rather that double check that Bloody Mary was dead, and he choose to walk out and face Bloody Mary to save citizens in what was surely a suicide mission until Suspira cast the diamond spell on his sword to give him a little hope of success. He could just as easily have hidden in the house and waited for Suspira to recover while people died, just as easily as he could have waited until an authorised team was dispatched to deal with Bloody Mary and let people die.
I still wonder about the "Real" Inverness. I just remember back to the intermission that she was a shy girl helping out in her parent's business. Maybe the "Bitchy" Suspira is more the fake with some sense of fake confidence, or maybe she really does just have significant mood swings between quiet-kind and loud-bitchy.
P.S. I'm loving this three way, respectful discussion on these two's relationship. We've got the fence sitter, the Bern fan and the Maytag fal. Now we just need someone who dislikes them both *lol*