Author Topic: The Chat Thread  (Read 632378 times)

Churba

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #690 on: June 01, 2009, 02:37:10 pm »
As I mentioned, I'm back. If you remember me, Heya. If you don't, hello there.

Pozf

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #691 on: June 01, 2009, 09:06:49 pm »
I vaguely remember you. Either way Welcome to the new forums of old.

In a more nerve wracking turn of events I play on going job searching tomorrow, and there is one place I really would like to get the job at. Wish me luck.
'Science is on the march. Don't get in its way.'

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #692 on: June 01, 2009, 09:17:23 pm »
I remember you Churba, though I wasn't as active back then. Welcome back :D

And good luck pozf. Break a couple legs. ./hands you a baseball bat.

Where are you applying to?

Pozf

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #693 on: June 01, 2009, 09:21:31 pm »
It's a local music store I used to / going to be taking lessons at again, and I know the owner so I hope that will help. There are a couple of world class musicians in the store. I'm hoping it will reignite my musical love, which has faded as of recently.
'Science is on the march. Don't get in its way.'

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #694 on: June 01, 2009, 11:44:44 pm »
Do it! Then the perverted musicians of the flipside forums can combine their powers to take over the world.

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Pozf

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #695 on: June 01, 2009, 11:53:43 pm »
Hey,hey hey hey... hey..... hey. perverted? me? Though I am all for taking over the world.

The only problem I see is when I go back to take lessons (which I will need if we plan to take over this world.), I have the choice of 2 teachers. One is the guy I had previous to this semester and is an amazing teacher, He's done some drums for a few big name CD's (none of the names I can remember >.>; ). And the other one is the current drummer for Blue Oyster Cult. So I'm actually quite torn.

Just tell me what I need to do to prepare for the takeover.
'Science is on the march. Don't get in its way.'

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #696 on: June 02, 2009, 03:03:28 am »
Good luck with the interview chief......................do you need to be a perverted musician to join in taking over the world? what about odd?  A sherman tank can give you a very nice edge  ;D
What good is dreaming it if you don't actually do it?.

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #697 on: June 02, 2009, 11:01:28 am »
*huggles Churba*

the way I see it it all depends on how you take over the world. if you destroy it in the takeover than yeah but if you enslave it that's another thing.
Just loving it! :-*
let's sit and chat a while and see if I don't make you smile .;)

Pozf

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #698 on: June 02, 2009, 06:11:50 pm »
So I *kind of* got a job. The owner didn't have a steady job for me which does suck. But he did give me a couple of little perks. Such as he put me directly on the paid volunteer list, which is good. As well as he would be willing to teach me how to work the lights, which could open up opportunities such as helping him on tour. So... yay. But boo because it's only a weekend type thing and my mom is still bitching at me/
 
'Science is on the march. Don't get in its way.'

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #699 on: June 03, 2009, 11:11:55 am »
hey something these days is better than nothing. ;)
Just loving it! :-*
let's sit and chat a while and see if I don't make you smile .;)

Pozf

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #700 on: June 03, 2009, 01:13:41 pm »
Not for my mother >.<

Food time!
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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #701 on: June 03, 2009, 10:42:34 pm »
how about anime time!^_^ :-*
Just loving it! :-*
let's sit and chat a while and see if I don't make you smile .;)

Pozf

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #702 on: June 03, 2009, 11:02:02 pm »
I guess so, but not for me.
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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #703 on: June 04, 2009, 12:30:23 am »
soon to be shower and bed time...during the day
What good is dreaming it if you don't actually do it?.

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #704 on: June 04, 2009, 01:08:19 pm »
Watching a lot of E3 videos today. Fun times, lots of cool videos *drool*
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Churba

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #705 on: June 04, 2009, 04:33:34 pm »
Pardon my language here, but

WHAT THE EVER FUCKING FUCK >.< I just finished spending most of the day scrubbing the front of my house, because it was tagged up with "Go home Convict!",  "Stalker Freak!" and "Leave (Salubivires name) Alone!"

Her psycho little london scumbag lying piece of shit of a new boyfriend has gone too fucking far this time.


More news after I have a shower, a sleep, and calm down a bit.


ARRRRGH.

And people wonder why I'm a misanthropic bastard.

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #706 on: June 04, 2009, 04:48:25 pm »
That HAS to be illegal, any way you can somehow video tape him harassing you?
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charles

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #707 on: June 04, 2009, 06:34:23 pm »
Pardon my language here, but

WHAT THE EVER FUCKING FUCK >.< I just finished spending most of the day scrubbing the front of my house, because it was tagged up with "Go home Convict!",  "Stalker Freak!" and "Leave (Salubivires name) Alone!"

Her psycho little london scumbag lying piece of shit of a new boyfriend has gone too fucking far this time.


More news after I have a shower, a sleep, and calm down a bit.


ARRRRGH.

And people wonder why I'm a misanthropic bastard.
WTF!?

Seriously, don't ever wipe that stuff away! Call the Police and have them gather evidence and chase down the freak who did this.  The writing style, fingerprints in the paint, the paint it's self, etc is all good evidence to track the SOB down.

Have you been to jail or anything? Whats this Convict crap and Stalker garbage?
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Oddball

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #708 on: June 05, 2009, 12:06:11 am »
Yep seen that done before when i still lived with my ex
What good is dreaming it if you don't actually do it?.

Selan

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #709 on: June 05, 2009, 04:23:05 am »
Over here the police does nothing about stuff like that, only after you are actually hurt.

Churba

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #710 on: June 05, 2009, 06:46:51 am »
That HAS to be illegal, any way you can somehow video tape him harassing you?
No, because A)I was asleep when it happened and B)It wouldn't have been him, he's too Cowardly and on top of that, What better way to say "It can't have been me!" than being somewhere else.
WTF!?

Seriously, don't ever wipe that stuff away! Call the Police and have them gather evidence and chase down the freak who did this.  The writing style, fingerprints in the paint, the paint it's self, etc is all good evidence to track the SOB down.

Have you been to jail or anything? Whats this Convict crap and Stalker garbage?
Nope, It was easier to do it this way - Landlord was threatening my bond(He saw it when he came round in the morning), finger-shaped smears in the paint without fingerprints(so they were wearing gloves) the paint cans were absent, and three distinct writing styles - also, they were probably not Yorkshire lads, as this bloke in question is a Rich, arrogant London boy, as are many of his friends.

No - I've never been to jail, And "Convict" is because I'm an Australian, living in England. As for the stalker garbage, It's a cross between salubi being paranoid, and That little scumbag pushing her as hard as he can into whatever bad shit he can convince her of about me.
I'll try to make a thread later to explain it all - I have no qualms about telling you all the truth about the whole matter - with the names redacted.
Over here the police does nothing about stuff like that, only after you are actually hurt.
Pretty much the same in this case - I wasn't hurt, and the best I have is a reasonable suspicion about who called it in to be done. The police can't do anything about it, really, besides collect some evidence and file it.

Edit - In fact, that's exactly what I'll do - as soon as I get home this evening, I'm making a thread to tell you all the truth about it. I'm sick of all the crap salubi's been spreading about me, I'm sick of all the lies and the bullshit, and I'm sick to the eye teeth of just sitting here and copping it because I don't want to piss her off and make her leave. Fuck it. If she can't handle the truth about what she's done, and the truth about this little psycho scumbag she's shacked up with, Then maybe she shouldn't have done it in the first place.
I know you all are not really connected to her, but at least someone would know the truth.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2009, 06:50:15 am by Churba »

Selan

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #711 on: June 05, 2009, 07:52:18 am »
I'll try to make a thread later to explain it all - I have no qualms about telling you all the truth about the whole matter - with the names redacted.

I'm not sure if that's what you should do.....
Salubi is a former member of this forum and i don't understand what the purpose would be
to drag personal stuff here.

Churba

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #712 on: June 05, 2009, 11:00:39 am »
Yes, I suppose you're right. Angry ranting won't get me anywhere.

charles

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #713 on: June 05, 2009, 11:11:39 am »
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!

You poor bastard mate! Haven't you told those poor sods what POME stands for?  Bloody wankers.

Hell yeah mate, you tell 'em! You come from a land down under! Where women roar and men thunder!

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YA BETTER RUN, YA BETTER TAKE COVER!
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Churba

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #714 on: June 05, 2009, 01:19:58 pm »
Look, She screwed me over very, very badly, but it wasn't entirely her fault - there were outside factors. I'm not angry at her, I'm mostly angry at myself, and angry at the situation, but not at her - I mean, yeah, sometimes I have a flash or two of rage at things, like the time I had to beg for forgiveness, to the point of humiliation, just to get her to talk to me again, because she was angry that I'd called her on a lie she'd told.

But I'll be honest - I knew the whole time what was going on, and I forgave her from the start. If I hadn't, I still wouldn't be struggling, starving, and fighting to stay here for her, because she's in a very bad situation right now, and while people who know her recognize it, she's away from them, and the people around her just keep encouraging her to get deeper and deeper.

But, No matter what happens, I'm not going to give up on her. It's just a very hard situation, and I've had a hard time in the past - hell, the girl I was with before salubi put me in the hospital, by breaking a coffee mug over my head - and it wasn't the first time she'd beaten the hell out of me. It was salubi that gave me the courage, drive and support to get out of that hell, and she's the first woman I trusted enough to share my life with after that.

If I go too far, If I get too ranty, pull me in and smack me around the ear. Just because shit is going badly, doesn't mean I get to take it out on you guys, salubi, or anyone else.

Churba

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #715 on: June 06, 2009, 04:23:02 pm »
I feel a bit guilty, now - it seems I come back, and everyone vanishes!

Selan

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #716 on: June 07, 2009, 11:58:26 am »
The forum tends to have less posts over the weekend ;)

charles

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #717 on: June 07, 2009, 05:20:02 pm »
Thats because most of us are using our work place's internet  ;D
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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #718 on: June 08, 2009, 05:03:43 am »
Have not been feeling to good and been working on my Series 3 Land Rover so stayed away from the 'net over the weekend.
What good is dreaming it if you don't actually do it?.

charles

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Re: The Chat Thread
« Reply #719 on: June 08, 2009, 11:44:08 am »
A great deal of person stuff here and probably stuff that's not relevant to Churba's particular situation but...

Look, She screwed me over very, very badly, but it wasn't entirely her fault - there were outside factors. I'm not angry at her, I'm mostly angry at myself, and angry at the situation, but not at her - I mean, yeah, sometimes I have a flash or two of rage at things, like the time I had to beg for forgiveness, to the point of humiliation, just to get her to talk to me again, because she was angry that I'd called her on a lie she'd told.

But I'll be honest - I knew the whole time what was going on, and I forgave her from the start. If I hadn't, I still wouldn't be struggling, starving, and fighting to stay here for her, because she's in a very bad situation right now, and while people who know her recognize it, she's away from them, and the people around her just keep encouraging her to get deeper and deeper.

But, No matter what happens, I'm not going to give up on her. It's just a very hard situation, and I've had a hard time in the past - hell, the girl I was with before salubi put me in the hospital, by breaking a coffee mug over my head - and it wasn't the first time she'd beaten the hell out of me. It was salubi that gave me the courage, drive and support to get out of that hell, and she's the first woman I trusted enough to share my life with after that.

If I go too far, If I get too ranty, pull me in and smack me around the ear. Just because shit is going badly, doesn't mean I get to take it out on you guys, salubi, or anyone else.
Well, I can't claim to know the entire situation here, so its hard to comment, but I will give some advice. Maybe it's relevant, maybe it's not.

My relationship with my wife wasn't one of equals but one of abuse and groveling.  I had a strange sense of obligations in relationships when I was young and it was pretty much a matter of never standing up for myself and groveling like a beaten dog, trying to beg forgiveness and tolerance from a pack leader.  Whenever she was upset, angry or frustrated and directed some of it at me I was practically falling over myself to be forgiven and would go out of my way to effectively help her put me down while doing everyting I could to uplift her.

I am not putting myself down but speaking truthfully when I say that much of this was my fault.  My wife wasn't nearly as abusive towards me (if at all) when we first met, etc.  However, my attitude of always submitting to her will, deferring decisions to her and pretty much letting her get her own way whenever she got pouty, angry or upset ment that she learnt to do it more often.  Understand that whenever she acted like this, she was rewarded with getting her way or having me do some major lovey-dovey stuff, Sappy/Corny lines and appologies for things that didn't/shouldn't have needed any apology.

Over the years, she became worse.  She would get upset and threaten me with divorce or even suggest killing herself to bring out the same reaction that I rewarded her with, every time.  In public, she was completely different, like she subconciously knew that the behaviour was wrong and didn't want others to see, but maybe she just didn't want my pittiful behaviour on display either, as I sought sympathy from her and others for wrongs that either didn't exist or just weren't worth the attitude I had in return.

Eventually I begun withdrawing as she'd cry and abuse me each time I went to go out with friends or belittle my work around the house.  I sunk into a hole where I lacked the motivation to do almost anything because I'd get abused just as much for doing something as I did for doing nothing.  No task could be done in a relaxing manner or to her satisfaction, it all needed to be criticised and she would work herself up to every wrong I had apparently done to her over the time of our relationship, building the abuse up higher and higher without relent as I continued so that it felt like torture to do anything.  I sunk myself into complete and utter apathy and self-pitty as my wife stressed herself with nearly every house-hold chore, continuing to take her new frustration at my procrastination on me every night... Until one day I just not so much as snapped, but clicked.

I had a sort of epiphany as to my situation and rose out of my pit.  I begun to cook meals again, clean the house, make the bed, walk to work, eat well, exercise and go out.  I begun to, not so much argue back, but stand my ground and ceased groveling and begging for forgiveness that wasn't needed.  I'd been suggesting marriage counciling on and off for a few years but begun to suggest it more strongly as I sought a way to better my life.  But she didn't want to admit that anything was wrong.

In a car trip to my grandparents, she became frustrated with the long drive and begun to abuse me with riddicule of my driving and a torrent of other inconsequential problems from the entire span of our time together.  As I drove on and refused to appologise or submit, I came to a conclusion that not only did I no longer hold much love for my wife any more but I wasn't even sure I could regard her as a friend.  As she drove on about how she was having problems dealing with our marriage I suggested marriage counciling once again, she shot back in anger that we should probably just get divorced, as she had many times before then, and this time I simply said "done".

She didn't take much heed to the comment until I put in writing that we were now seperated and moved myself to a spare bedroom.  I told her that the law required us to be seperated for 12 months before we could be divorced but if no head-way was made in our marriage in 4 months, I would move out and there would be little chance of recovery from that.  So she finally agreed to marriage counciling and from there we begun to work on our marriage together.  It's 8 months later and we're still working on it as we both continue to push ourselves to break old habbits of abuse or subjegation that lead to a relationship that was detrimental to the both of us.  Things still aren't at a point that I'd be happy to remain in for the remainder of my life, but they continue to improve as my wife continues to work with me in pushing out of our old routines.


Again, I don't know your exact situation, or if this even applies, but as long as there's no danger of loosing you entirely, she'll continue to use you with ease, thinking that you'll always be there to go back and forth from, when she'd in a downer, wants to throw abuse or watch you crawl for her attention.  Your submission to that role only encourages and entrenches it in her, until its almost routine and you'll simply continue to go in these circles until something changes and its much easier for you to change the situation at your end than hers.  Give her a deadline, to make a difference or force her to do something that will make it far harder for her to return to the habits that harm her and turn her away no matter how desperate she is until she hits a point that she takes that leap.  Heck, resolve to move away by a certain date if you're only there for her.  Tell her that she can join you or you'll always be willing to pay for a one-way ticket to your new location.  Then follow through and don't look back until she looks to follow you.

I guess what I'm saying is that it sounds like you've both slipped into a routine where she is in control of the situation and is quite happy to have you sitting there for whenever she has a use for you only to return to her ways when that requirement is fullfilled.  And part of that may well be your fault for letting her fall into that repetition by playing your part in it.  You need to take control and make a change that will break the circle.  A change that means your life will continue on as though she is out of the equasion.  She may call for help or a continuation of the current situation, but you must be strong and hold fast to your conditions, allowing her to sink to a level of desperation that gives her the will and the drive to accept them.

If she never reaches that level, then there's little you can do other than continue with our life and hold steadfast to any attempts to gain pity.
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