First time, some guy sprayed some metho at me and I blocked it with my arm... Sometime later he came at me with a lighter while I was talking to someone and set it alight. I this he crapped himself more than me. I just sort of looked at it like a badass while it burned for a few seconds then calmply wiped my other arm across it to put it out... it didn't go out and loosing my bad-ass composure I rubbed up and down a few times to stop it
Second time, some guys carefully pulled my blankets back while I was asleep, poured lighter-fluid on my chest as I slept, then woke me up and lit it up at the same time... Do you realise how quickly you can go from asleep to fully awake when you're on fire? Bloody quick. A thousand calculations went through my head all at once and I quickly pulled the blankets back up over me to smother it... I'd like to say I then chased them with a hockey stick but they were long-gone by then, so I just went back to sleep.
Third time I was at a work function party... drinking... with a full face beard that some of you might remember pictures of (not the current borrimir beard, a FULL face one). Anyway, some girl sat on my lap while I was talking and then asked someone for a light. I kept talking to a guy across from me while she got the lighter and lit her smoke... then I heard her make some comment like "I wonder if this'll light", next minute I know my face is on fire with this blue flame thanks to much spilt grog which had gathered in my beard through the night. By this stage I was accustomed to getting set on fire and just wiped it away, however the smell of burnt human hair was a bit over powering, not only for me but the girl on my lap.
...In case you're wondering, the girl on my lap was a fellow worker with 12 and 8 year old kids... She just got friendly when she got grog in her *shrug*