I need advice.
I am considering writing an extremely hurtful letter to a "friend" basically telling her that she is a worthless friend, that I never want to speak with her again, and that I hope she lives and dies in deep depression.
Like so many others I have coldly left in the dust, she has become dead weight and a parasite on me. I feel continuing the friendship would be a "sunk costs fallacy". I feel like I should continue being her friend even though I have received nothing from her, she does things like not helping me at all when i need emotional support, ignoring me constantly, taking a month to send back freaking letter because she keeps "forgetting" to put it in the mailbox. Seriously, what the fuck is up with that? When I get a message from a friend, I response THAT DAY. Often that minute. It's important to me. Obviously, I'm not that important to her, and if I'm not, what good is she?
You might say, "Well, fine CDSM, stop being her friend, but no need to get vicious."
Yes. There is a need to get vicious. It's my need to do something I'll regret. It's my need to spit my venom instead of swallowing it. It's my need to do something to hurt someone else.
My morality tells me I shouldn't, but I'm not sure I care anymore. Right now I'm up for doing something evil. And doing it because it will feel good.
I'm up for being the real horrible, callous me and not the pussy who is nice to people just so they'll like him even though whatever friendships I get out of it are ultimately hollow.
Maybe it's just because I feel she'll actually show a little more initiative if she realizes that what she had is gone.
And you know what I'll do if she comes to me wanting to be friends again.
I'm going to laugh and say no.
Get ready world. CDSM is ready for a change. No more....whatever the hell I was before. Maybe I'm committing social suicide if I take the mantle of negativity...but that's a consequence I'm prepared to deal with. I'm so sick of stagnancy, even spectacular failure seems like a better choice than this shit.