K, so I know I've been snarky to your well-deserved rants, and I apologize. I shouldn't make like of your frustations.
As a peace offering, I'd like to offer a bit of rage of my own:
THE ANGER OF CDSM
Written and Directed by CDSM
Guest Starring CDSM
God. Fucking. Dammit.
You know, sometimes I don't even know why I bother with you. Why I put up with you. Especially since it's been the same fucking thing for the past five years, e'er since we met.
Like how I've bent over backwards for you in every way, for absolutely no reason, in spite of all the times you blew me off and spat in my face. Like how I apologized again and again just to keep our friendship alive for stuff that wasn't even remotely my fault.
I mean fucking hell, how much the fuck does it take for you RETURN MY FUCKING CALLS. It's like, not like I'm stalking you or calling you fifteen times a day or anything, it's just, every once in awhile just to see how you are doing, and you can't even tell me? I mean, you can't do ANYTHING to keep in touch with me and just disappear for weeks leaving me high and dry?!? What the fuck?? And every time you come crawling back saying how we are "best friends forever", even though he haven't talked, sometimes months at a time?
So what am I? Your "friend only when needed"? The one you come crying to when you're other friends piss you off? Fuck that. I'm not going to be that for you anymore. I'm not going to waste my precious time and resources trying to make your miserable ass happy anymore, because quite frankly, you never pay me back for it and you NEVER EVEN SAY THANK YOU. And you're depressed anyways.
Jesus fuck, you're not even my girlfriend. I don't even
want you to be my girlfriend.
So yeah, this is everything I want to say to your face but can't, because I still don't want to hurt you, in spite of how much you deserve it. I blame myself for letting myself get suckered into being your friend every time.
So yeah, bitch, you can just suck my dick. Because Lord knows that's the only way I'd ever think twice about you again.
/end transmission.
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULAR, LESS EMO CDSM-FILLED PROGRAMMING.