Author Topic: Shrink's sofa  (Read 44410 times)

UmberIsSexy

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Re: Shrink's sofa
« Reply #240 on: September 10, 2014, 09:38:10 pm »
"I met my lover while we were sitting on a sofa at a party. We discovered that we had common interests in 'extrovert-watching' and 'wallflowering'. Also we like to read, replay conversations in our head, and avoid social contact...um, together."

Not really, just joking.

Man, just had a discussion with my wife...was really needed, but boy those are...well they require a lot of presence and attention. Mostly just me sitting there and providing space for her emotions to express. She says the most horrible things!! But, she doesn't mean them. Most of being with her is just striving not to get into it with her. I think this is a big part of being a man (ie. male role) actually.

She says if we ever divorced she'd have to leave the country!! She couldn't stand being around while I got another girlfriend.......ugh, I sometimes feel I want to blow my brains out. Of course that wouldn't help anything.

I don't think she would...but when she says these things it hurts me so badly! (for those who don't know, I have two kids and if they left the country it would be about equivalent to me having a foot removed...maybe...I haven't actually given much thought as to losing which body part would be the equivalent of my kids moving far away.)

Emp_Dragon

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Re: Shrink's sofa
« Reply #241 on: September 11, 2014, 04:26:29 am »
I Think you should advise her to seek counseling for her insecurities...

UmberIsSexy

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Re: Shrink's sofa
« Reply #242 on: September 11, 2014, 07:39:22 am »
Thanks! That's what I did today. I explained that I believe that she carries a lot of "emotional baggage", not in so many words, but I pointed out some examples that illustrate this point pretty clearly, and presented it in the context of "If you don't get some help, I don't think I can stay." She agreed for a second, and then went right back to attacking me brutally. After she had had her fill, she was in a great mood, chatting with family and friends happily on her phone, while I was left...well I actually was pretty okay because of some meditation techniques and a book I've been reading by Eckhart Tolle. I was able to "ground out" or breathe through a lot of the emotion she was throwing at me and not get involved in it, but I was still reeling somewhat just from the concentration and from flowing with all those hurtful words.

I don't want to talk badly about her. (and by that I mean I would LOVE to talk badly about her, but it just wouldn't be right) I have my own part in this, and part of it is not sitting in my own truth fully, and therefore blaming her for a lot of stuff and directing a lot of anger towards her, where a lot of problems could have been avoided if I had just taken responsibility for my part, my role in everything, or just being conscious of what I've been doing sometimes subconsciously to her.

And by that I mean basically just stepping up and making decisions that need to be made, rather than just allowing things to happen passively or half-assedly and then getting butthurt about the outcome and as a result being shitty to her for no reason that has anything to do with the situation at hand.

But anyway, I think I learned something today: I don't really expect her to change her ways. She seems very content to stay where she's at, whereas I am always internally focused, trying to get better and better, always seeking the next level of success, peace, power, and clarity...not that I'm at a high level, but that's what I'm interested in, personally progressing in different ways.

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Re: Shrink's sofa
« Reply #243 on: September 11, 2014, 01:51:54 pm »
Maybe couple's therapy then if you really want her close. I understand the kids complicates things, but if the relationship really doesn't work, I'd suggest you try negotiate shared custody and split.

phillip1882

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Re: Shrink's sofa
« Reply #244 on: November 12, 2014, 06:13:22 pm »
my journey into insanity:
a little over a year ago, a bizarre series of events took place for me over a 6 month period.
this story will be spotty because i don't really have all the details down well.
it was my 31 birthday. my mother drove me to my weekly meeting with my friends,
where i play a board game known as Go. She drove me instead of me driving myself because i was feeling uneasy about the night. near the end of the night, the music playing for the restaurant turned very demonic for me. My mother came to pick me up and we drove home. confused and afraid, I asked to sleep in the same bed as her. my father was in another state visiting family. while trying to sleep, i was suddenly overcome with vision of having sex with her. mortified i left the room and went back to my own bed. i got no rest that night. after a few hours i tried to understand what was happening, and i asked the question, "how would God give birth to himself." suddenly it felt like i was being pushed down from above. after that i decided i needed to commit  suicide. i have always been a little suicidal but this time i meant it. my bible fell from a table, seemingly of its own accord, but i ignored it and called 911.  they brought me to the hospital. as i entered the hospital i heard a woman yell, "No its not okay to do that to your mother!" i signed my name for involuntary placement, with no advocate. the next day, they asked me to sign myself in again, but this time i put Jesus as the name. I met an old woman who said, "you know who the infidel is? the Christians!" a few hours later i ate the Jesus paper. suddenly it felt like someone else was in control of my body. that someone wanted me to forgive someone else, but i interrupted him and said Jesus. i ran to a window with a view of were i entered and whole heartily believed i could signal my past self from entering the hospital. as i did so, i saw a bright light come out of my hand.
suddenly everyone in the hospital vanished and i was alone. i wandered the hall for a full day before reality reasserted itself and i could see people again. deeply depressed, i tried to take my own life by banging the back of my head against a wall. i heard that old woman's voice say: "all except you!" the next day i tried again. and the time she said "no more activities". i tried a third time. this time they gave me some kind of medication that had a very bizarre effect on me. i went directly into the hall and kept twisting a locked doorknob over and over again, saying to myself "just look at the button!". after about an hour of doing this i was finally able to get myself to stop.
my parents came to visit me the next day. i signed myself out and they brought me home.
 the next few months were akward. books in particular were strange. they seemed to be communicating with me. the bible was a very interesting read during this time. Jesus said to me through my bible that i would now need to become wiser than all the saints and sages.
there are two ways to be a patriot. the first is to join the military. the second is to convince the government that use of military force is unnecessary. the second is much more difficult but also more rewarding.