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Flipside Discussion / Re: The Criticism Thread
« on: February 26, 2015, 12:41:55 pm »
I still disagree with Brion concerning the pacing of the previous chapter. Even going back and rereading it as a whole, it still reads very slow. I concur with what TomeWyrm said - "what we got wasn't suspense, it was indecision". It doesn't feel natural. It doesn't feel like good storytelling. Disagree with me if you will, but as a writer I truly feel like the previous chapter could've been written a lot better. I also think it hurt Bernadette's characterization even more. Sure, we got to see the self-sacrifice of Polly, and I do like her a lot - I'm starting to wish that she was one of the main focuses of the story. For the last several chapters Bern repeatedly says how she shouldn't be relying on her friend, and yet she is. All the time. That's what's so frustrating with the outcome of the recent chapter.
Granted, Polly has also been playing a hand in the frustration. Essentially she's taking Bern's agency, her right to choose. It sucks, but I wish that they didn't do the whole back-and-forth indecision that lasted as long as it did, and Bern would've been left to deal with the consequences of her own actions. I could understand her being a pacifist in not wanting to kill someone for others' amusement, so her avoiding Option C seemed reasonable for her character. But it's irritating to see her be so adamant about avoiding conflict when all it does is put her friend in even more precarious situations. Her actions aren't only affecting her, they're hurting Polly as well. And it's boring seeing this same theme happen again and again with every chapter they're in. That's why I'm hoping to see this arc continue in the next chapter - I'd like to see it FINALLY go somewhere.
Again this is also a fault of Polly's and how she's being written. Ultimately I wish she had allowed Bern to make her own choice. Warden had a point that she needed to suffer. Suffering is a part of life and so is taking responsibility for your actions. Bernadette needed to deal with that on her own.
That said, I'm not criticizing the pacing because I hate slow storytelling and characterization. I'm criticizing it because it's frustrating seeing these two characters constantly making the same mistakes since this whole arc started. The last chapter was basically 60 pages of back-and-forth arguing that we've already seen with the characters. That's my problem.
Granted, Polly has also been playing a hand in the frustration. Essentially she's taking Bern's agency, her right to choose. It sucks, but I wish that they didn't do the whole back-and-forth indecision that lasted as long as it did, and Bern would've been left to deal with the consequences of her own actions. I could understand her being a pacifist in not wanting to kill someone for others' amusement, so her avoiding Option C seemed reasonable for her character. But it's irritating to see her be so adamant about avoiding conflict when all it does is put her friend in even more precarious situations. Her actions aren't only affecting her, they're hurting Polly as well. And it's boring seeing this same theme happen again and again with every chapter they're in. That's why I'm hoping to see this arc continue in the next chapter - I'd like to see it FINALLY go somewhere.
Again this is also a fault of Polly's and how she's being written. Ultimately I wish she had allowed Bern to make her own choice. Warden had a point that she needed to suffer. Suffering is a part of life and so is taking responsibility for your actions. Bernadette needed to deal with that on her own.
That said, I'm not criticizing the pacing because I hate slow storytelling and characterization. I'm criticizing it because it's frustrating seeing these two characters constantly making the same mistakes since this whole arc started. The last chapter was basically 60 pages of back-and-forth arguing that we've already seen with the characters. That's my problem.