Maytag's Playhouse => Hall of Games => Topic started by: Pozf on March 23, 2009, 08:53:33 am
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I Believe this was one of the more popular games (then again I hadn't been in there in forever on the old forum)
Okie Doke the rules are as followed somebody will make a wish then the next poster will grant the wish but twist it horribly in some fashion then make a wish of their own.
Example:
Poster A
I wish I had an uncorrectable wish.
Poster B
Granted but since the only uncorruptable thing is nothing you get nothing.
I wish I was a real boy.
Poster C
Granted but BLAH.
(I think you get the point)
Starting!
I wish I had more Vault.
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granted but it's got a virus in it and now you're a zombie.
I wish I was immune from becoming a zombie.
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Granted but i eat your tasty tasty flesh
I wish I had an extension on my essay
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granted but your teacher hates you and gives you an F anyways.
I wish I had gotten out of work earlier today.
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granted but you're allowed to leave because you got fired
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and a brick hit you in the head for forgetting to make a wish...
I wish I had my own compy with internet connections at home.
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Granted but you now live at work
I wish that brick didn't hurt so much
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granted but now you have no nerve endings and burn your hand off in a fire.
I wish I enjoyed work more.
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Granted but you aren't allowed to work anymore
Wish The voices would stop telling me what to do
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granted but now everyone else is telling you what to do.
Wish cows could fly
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Granted but the hell bovines now take over the world MOOOO
I wish I could sleep more
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Granted but you are now dead and buried :P
I wish I was more organised.
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granted but you are now TOO organized
I wish that I had done my research paper last night
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Granted, but you wrote it on the wrong subject.
I wish it was summer.
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granted but you're now stuck in a desert without water
I wish my jaw hurt less
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Granted, but you now have no lower jaw.
I wish I knew what I wanted to do with life.
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Granted but you'll now die tomorrow
I wish I had my jaw back
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granted but it's welded shut so you starve to death.
I wish For merciful flying cow rulers(them ruling the world and all ;D)
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Granted but they hire killer sheep to keep the population under control
I wish I could remember what I was meant to of done before work last night.
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granted but then a sheep Zats your teacher with a zat stick and all your work for the semester is gone.
I wish I didn't have work at 10 am
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Granted but you are meant to be at work now instead of posting in here.
I wish i could understand Smile's posts.
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granted but now you understand no one else's
i wish i had a pink pony
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Granted but its one of those new pestilence ponies
I wish I didn't have to go to chemistry/lab tonight
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Granted it comes to you and your house now stinks of sulpher.
I wish my left knee would click back into place.
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Granted but it your other knee falls off
I wish i had a better set of headphones
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granted but there's no sound sytem for miles to listen to.
I wish my hours at work were more steady
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Granted but your social live becomes unsteady
I wish i was out flying instead of sleeping for work tonight.
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granted but your plane explodes
I wish I had my own compy at home.
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Granted but it fails miserably
I wish there was more to eat in this house
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granted but none of it is something you want to eat right now.
I wish I didn't have to go home soon. :-\
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Granted but now you cant leave your current location
I wish the money my aunt was suppose to wire transfer to me was in my account now and not in a week
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Granted but you cant withdraw it for a month
I wish I could get round to finishing one of my Radio control Planes that has been in the shed for the past five years.
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granted but it crashes right when you start using it
I wish my head wouldnt hurt anymore
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Granted, but now your head never hurts. Eventually a blood clot forms in your neck and you suffer a major stroke. During your recovery, you cross a street and are hit by a bus and are now paralyzed from the waist down. with no hope of a normal life, you shimmy up to a third story window and throw yourself out, only to land on a large rubber mat, breaking your neck. You spend the rest of your life paralyzed in bed, clicking your tongue to get peoples attention.
But at least your head doesn't hurt.
I wish I was beautiful.
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Granted but now you suffocate to death because you are so beautiful you get mobbed by hundreds and hundreds of people
I wish this chili was spicier
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granted but you have a homer J Simpson episode after eating it.
I wish puppies grew on trees.
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Granted, but now everytime you walk under a tree a dog shits on you.
I wish I was a famous comedian.
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granted but comedy losing meaning and no one cares
I wish it could rain icecream and milkshakes
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granted but it rains them in bowls and glasses
I wish i could sleep
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granted but you sleep through the next millennium and weird songsy ish poems are written about you.
*puts out lots of bowls and glasses*
I wish I had strawberry syrup for the icecream
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Granted but its past it best before date and gives you gastric flu leaving you so sick you can only be fed by a IV drip for the rest of your life.
I wish it was not so wndy out side.
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Granted its not as windy, but now there is a huge electrical storm
I wish sleep was easy!
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granted but while you were sleeping you were hit by a car.
I wish i could stay online all day today.
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Granted but nothing happens until you log off at night in your time zone.
I wish I could find a pair of Fabric Goretex/berhaus hiking boots again (size 8 UK).
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hehe then I could catch up on everything ^_^
granted but there's a nail in the bottom so they leak.
I wish I could have mac-a-ronie and cheese for breakfast
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Granted, but they are still leftovers from last night
I wish there were more female Warhammer geeks XD
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Granted but they end up knocking all your figures off the board and breaking them.
Wish i could find all of my war hammer 40,000 gear.
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Granted but you lose it all again almost immediatly
I wish I would stop being so forgetfull
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granted but now no one wil tell you anything that you don't want to forget.
I wish I could have steak dinner right now.
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Granted but they Fucked up the steak
I wish i didn't have a sinus headache
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my dad doesn't fuck up my steak. :P
granted. just granted sinus headaches suck.
I wish I could meet all my fave peeps for real.^_^
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Granted but they are Nothing like you imagined and are no longer your favorite "peeps"
I wish I had some peeps right now (the candy)
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Granted but they are past there best before date.
I wish I could get rid of my mobile phone.
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That doesn't really hurt me they're awesome stale too!
Granted but it always finds its way back to you
I wish I could have a NORMAL (sleep during night time up during da y) sleep schedual
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Granted but tons of beautiful women start coming to your house looking for you every night. Finding that you seem to always be asleep at night, they eventually give up.
I wish I was playing volleyball in the hot summer sun with hot babes in bikini tops and shorts.
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Granted but they're not really women, and they don't wanna play volleyball
I wish I could find a Gull Dagger!
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Granted but its made out of ice and melts when handled outside a freezer.
I wish I won the lottery and did not have to work in a care home any more.
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Granted but you accidentally signed your money away instead of signing the thing to give it to yoy
I wish I could keep a train of thought
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Granted but.......erm dam what was it I was going to say now?
I wish I could remember what i was about to say.
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granted but it doesn't matter anymore
I wish my aunt would do what she is suppose to do
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Granted but now your uncle doesn't.
I wish I had done my taxes ages ago. :-\
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granted but you missed a few parts and now have your wages garnished
I wish I was not at home right now
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Granted but now you're in prison
I wish Diablo III would come out sooner
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granted but it is too glitchy to play
I wish I had some seafood now
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Granted but its bad
I wish my hands weren't so sticky
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Granted, they're so lubricated that you can't grasp anything.
I wish the neighbours would stop using the elevation of their house to spy down on me.
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Granted but now they've got bugs in your house
I wish my dog's tumor will not reoccur
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Instead you get a tumor. It's a big brown one right under your nose that looks like some kind of disgusting poop mustache and reminds everyone around you of "Mole" from Goldmember.
I wish I could have a hair cut. Seriously, it's starting to impair my vision!
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granted instead of getting a short back and sides your hair gets completly shaved off.
i wish I could stop yawning.
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granted, but now you can't stop belching
I wish I was motivated to do homework
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Granted but thats all you do now
I wish that my fingers didn't hutr so much
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granted but your feet hurt like hell
i wish didn't have to listen to cruddy music
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Granted now yuo have to listen to HORRIBLE music
I wish I could sleep at night
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granted but it's the last time you ever sleep because when you wake up you have permanent insomnia.
I wish you'd stop making wishes to sleep.
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Granted now I just whine about my day
I wish I could just not act like an asshole for a day
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granted but then everyone else you know is an asshole for the day.
I wish there was purple peanut butter
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Granted but now there is only brown Jam
I wish for stuff n' things!
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eww brown jam
anyways granted but its all stuff you don't want.
I wish i could be at a nice bonfire right now.
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Granted but the bonfire is your house started by your computer blowing up due to too much lobster pron being stored in the hard drive.
I wish i had a decent wish to make.
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granted... but it doesnt come true
I wishI had more soda in the house
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O.o what are you doing putting lobster pron in my compy?
granted but every bottle you open explodes all over and you loose half the bottle.
I wish I had heard of Birthday Massacre sooner!
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Granted but now they broke up
I wish my hands weren't all pruny
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granted but now they're all black from the charcoal handling.
I wish I had a kitty
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Granted but it grows up to kill you
I wish I had more "1337 2K|11z" in CSS *blah*
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Granted but now your banned form more places cuz you show off too much
I wish I had some pie right now.
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granted but its only the tin I ate a;; the pie
I wish I had More pie
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granted But I ate this one! :P
I wish i was less hippie
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Granted but now your too orcish frat
I wish that the DBZ movie would randomly explode cause its stupid
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heh he just granted. everytime I see the preview part of my brain explodes in pain...
I wish pizza was free
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Granted but delivery is about 30 bucks
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I get a get out of corruption free cuz you forgot to wish XP
i wish I could have lamb right now
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granted but it is raw
I wish I would stop forgetting to make a wish
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granted but your dissapointed cuz you die after every wish you make. :P
I wish zombie pozf was a fun cool zombie that wouldn't eat me.
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Granted but I still kill you
I wish I were a zmobie!
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granted but the sheriff shoots your head off. and you die again
I wish I had a puppy
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Granted but when it gets angry it turns into a giant monster and attacks you
I wish my computer screen was clean again
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granted but now there's a huge crack in it that goes across the whole moniter and it drives you nuts.
I wish my puppy was nice to me.
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Granted but now it falls ill
I wish that i had more candy
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granted but all your teeth fall out so you can't eat any.
I wish i owned the world
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Psshh I can eat candy with no teeth
Granted but it gets blown up
I wish for more money
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granted but there's no where to spend it as you just blew up the world. :P ;D
I wish food would appear when I though of it.
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Granted but its never food you like
I wish I had Meat vision
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granted but you now only see meet
I wish i was not so sleepy
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Granted, now you are painfully horny all the time with nobody to help you with it and no arms to 'fix' it yourself.
I wish my Roomba were self-repairing.
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granted but now I thirsts for blood
I wish had done my paper already
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granted but your neighbor's dog ate it so you have to redo it.
i wish i didn't have to go to work today and still got paid for it.
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Granted but you're extremely sick
I wish my mom weren't a bitch
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granted but she dies. :(
I wish I never had to drive anywhere again
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Granted but thats because you lose your drivers license
I wish I was at home right now
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Granted, but the DHS has decided you are a threat to US national security and have your house bombed twenty feet into the ground with you in it.
I wish mere people were online at 08:00 CET
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Granted but they all hate you
I wish I had more coffee
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Granted but it tastes like tea
I wish every one would stop coming upstairs and let me sleep.
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Granted but now they're playing with air horns downstairs
I wish I woke up earlier
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granted but nothing fun happens so you go back to sleep.
i wish my car hadn't broken today.
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Granted but it blows up in a fiery death
I wish this cat would get off my pony tail
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(as long as I was home when it happened i'd be fine with that.)
granted but it's on you r keyboard now instead and you cant type a corruption for my wish XP
I wish I had enough money to fix my car tomorrow.
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Granted but you'rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre arrrrrrrrrrrested for conterrrrrrrrrfitting
I wish my keyboard was clean
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... :-\ er granted but now the mess form your key board is all over your comp table
i wish I didn't have to get up at 6 am tomorrow.
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Granted you get to wake up at 5 AM
I wish Defraging my laptop didn't take 6 + hours
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granted now it takes 2 and a half days...
I wish there was no such thing as morning.
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Granted you just destroyed time
I wish I had more time
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granted you have all the time in thje world...oh wait you just destroyed that.XP
I wish tomorow would be fun for me.
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granted but you die at 12:01 monday morning
I wish my hands no longer smelled like garlic
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granted now they smell like car oil
I wish i had mac and cheese for breakfast tomorrow
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granted but its all burnt and nasty
I wish my Pandora station would stop giving me shitty music
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*smiles whats wrong with car oil? *
Granted but it now only plays country and westren.
I wish my hang over wold disapear 8)
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that is shitty!
granted but you fixed it by drinking again and now your hangover is even worse than before.
I wish My cellphone didn't have a mind of its own
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granted, now it's broke
i wish I had some money
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Granted but your arrested for counterfeiting
I wish it was colder in this house
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Granted, you now have a flock of penguins as tenants, but they keep turning up the heat on account they are freezing at -95degrees Celcius...
I wish I knew how to go about making a true-scale suit of Chaos terminator armor... that fitted me.
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granted but you don't have the materials to make it
i wish i was not sick
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granted but the people around you get unusually more annoying.
i wish i hadn't had to put $1300 into my car today
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granted but you once you put another $1300 into the car it explodes in a horrible accident, where nobody is hurt.
I wish my iPod connector hadn't broken. (yea I know My poor ipod compared to your car :P )
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granted but your song list was deleted and you have to start from scratch
I wish i didn't have to wash dishes
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Granted but your house lights aflame.
I wish this room weren't so damn hot.
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granted it is now -257 degrees kelvin or absolute zero and you freeze to death and lose all your apendages from frost bite.
I wish there was some good films on tv just now dam holidays,
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Granted, there's plenty of decent films on TV.. but your last TV licence payment was rejected.. and that's not working as well as I thought.. still never mind.. um...
Granted, there's plenty of decent films on TV.. But yours is stolen and no-one will sell you a new one either.
I wish I hadn't lost a certain um.. training plan.
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Granted instead you find out its an army Physical Training course and it comes with its own sadistic Physical Training Instructor Sergeant who gets you up at 5Am and takes you out for 10 mile runs with full kit and rifle.
I wish I did not sleep in today.
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Granted you did not sleep at all
I wish the math chairmen had been in so I didn't have to come back here then back to school again
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Granted but you end up getting 8 hours of Quatratic equations and calculis.
I wish i did not have so much house work to do.
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Granted because your house explodes
I wish this wasn't a thing that is happening is such a hassle
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Granted it becomes a major catastrophe and your Government declares it a threat to national security.
I wish my hay fever would disapear
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Granted but now you have a normal fever
I wish for somebody to uh... do ... something about stuff? (I wanna be specific but I'm not in the mood)
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Granted but you end up going to a Pride and Prejudice recital.
I wish I had my third star
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Granted but you lose them immediate after.
I wish I had a gun to shoot at a firing range
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Granted you get a Colt M1911 .45 automatic pistol....but it is a water pistol
I wish there was some decint choccie bars to go with my coffee
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Granted but you drop it in some dirt first
I wish i had a good way to relieve stress
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Granted, but it is illegal in your state.
I wish I wasn't dead.
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Granted but you are not a famous philouspher anymore.
I wish i had not wasted my day.
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Granted, but you were so productive, that people will expect too much of you. Nothing you do will ever be adequate again.
I wish I could read minds.
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Granted but you can not control it
I wish I had more soda
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Granted. It's at the store, just waiting for you. :P
I wish I always got my way! :-[
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Granted but you sarcastically wish you were dead and then die
I wish I was less tired
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Granted.
You are now the main character in a John Travolta movie.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenomenon_(film)
(he dies at the end :(.)
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Awesome wish granted you gave me all your money!
I wish I were no longer depressed
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Granted, but you now have a stomachache.
I wish I had kept my promise.
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Granted but it backfires and looks like you didn't keep it anyway
I wish the school wasn't giving me ulcers
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Granted. Instead it gives you dysentery.
:(
I wish I didn't have to go to the fucking doctor today. >:(
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Granted instead of the fucking doctor you go to the prodding doctor instead
I wish I was not on night shift for the next three nights its great weather out there.
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Granted. You've been fired. :(
I wish my mind wasn't all bleary from lack of sleep.
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*thats not a corrupt wish Ronin ;D *
Granted it is now turned to mush from listening to that Levan polka
I wish I had got up earlier to fix my mountain bike
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Granted. you got up 2 weeks ago and haven't slept sense.
I wish I could stop thinking about sleep. MMMMMMM sleeeeeeeeep :-*.
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Granted now you start thinking about the firing order of a Rolls Royce Merlin inline V12 27 litre aero engine
i wish I could find all my missing music cd's
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Granted. You find they've all been lodged in you rectum during a perticularly painful bowl movement.
I wish I could stay here, but I can't.
Laters. :D
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granted but then everyone starts doing an off key rendition of "Let's DO the Time Warp again!"
i wish I had finished my taxes earlier.
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Granted but everyone you know gives you theirs to do as well
I wish i was not in a grump this morning
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granted as you go to jail for fraudulent taxes. ;D
I wish My back would stop hurting. :(
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Granted instead your strong wrist develops RSI
I wish People would stop posting so i can catch up wi last nights posts
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granted but when you leave there will be another thousand posts by pozf to catch up on.
I wish i had some pizza
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Granted but it has killer Mushrooms and Anchovies on it
I wish my left eye would stop twitching
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yummy!
Granted but now your leg twitches instead.
I wish those killer mushrooms hadn't given me indigestion.
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Granted but the anchovies gives you the old toilet two step
I wish i was not working for the next two night so i can open this crate of lager in front of me
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granted but there's too much head from the shakiness of the truck that took them to the store you got em at.
i wish my brain was feeling less fuzzy
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Granted but your tounge feels fuzzy instead
I wish smiles would let me go to bed
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granted but then the loverly conversations will stop.
I wish I didn't need sleep.
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Granted but everyone else sleeps instead for the rest of time.
I wish I could think clearly and make a really awesome wish
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Granted. The mear thought of it's awsomeness passing through your mind causes killer icecream headache and you die. :(
I wish more people were active when I was. :(
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Granted but you have nothing to say to them
i wish this migrane would vanish
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Granted.
Then it reappears in the forms of a toothache, a hangnail, and a papercut. :(
I wish this thread focused more on the positive. :(
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Granted. OMG YAY!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D bunnies kittens seal pups (wait no that brings up negative connotations) elephants...um spaceships?
I wish I was still in Kung Fu class, and that I was going tonight.
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Granted, but the instructer is that dude from Napolean Dynamyte.
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/19/m_7f438576d6b8d2084282c814914d39b8.jpg
I wish It was prerelease weekend! HAVE YOU SEEN THE FUCKING SPOILER YET UIS? [DROOLS/]
http://mtgsalvation.com/alara-reborn-spoiler.html
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haha (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKmUsVeKp1o&feature=related)
Granted but you have horrible diarrhea and poop all over the event. Luckily everyone are such horrible nerds that they don't really notice or care.
Bituminous Blast wtf? Thought Hemmorage what? Lord of Extinction huh? Lavalanche guh?
edit: so-no, I hadn't, but I just did. Thanks for sharing!
I wish I could sleep later than I probably can tomorrow.
edit: another video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgv_Q825Bo&feature=related)
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um how??? nvmnd
Granted but you sleep through to the next day and don't realize it.
I wish i had my own compy at home so my sis couldn't kick me off the netz at night.
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granted but your compy gets a virus and crashes.
i wish i didn't have to take allergy pills so i can eat what i want.
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Granted but you eat so fast a chicken bone gets stuck in your wind pipe and you chock to death.
I wish I had satelite TV so I can watch all of my history programmes
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Granted. But then you die a horrilble death [shruggs/]. :-\
I wish I came up with a better retort. :-\
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Granted but you would not like it.
I wish I had a thick creamy cold choccolate milkshake
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Granted, and you enjoy it. :o
I wish everone was nice to me! :D
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granted but it's because you're a vegetable in the hospital. *this is all a dream!*
I wish i had a box of chocolates
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Granted but they are all melted in the heat
I wish i could get a good WIFI connection
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Granted but you now have nothing to use it with
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no wish to corrupt so..... what ever you wish for comes true
I wish people would close my door when they leave my room or shout upstairs to me.
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Granted but now they slam your door until they break it
I wish I would stop forgetting wihses
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Granted but now you keep on forgeting to put on trousers when you go out in public
I wish I had a decent digital camera with a good set of batteries.
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Granted but the camera breaks... but the batteries still work!
I wish the product I'd ordered was shipped
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Granted but the container it is in gets washed over board from the ship sailing from China and ends up on the shore next to Saint Andrews and I claim it and gain the salvage rights.
I wish this keyboard was not so stiff and clunky to use.
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Granted but now its soft and spongy
I wish you corruption wasn't so invalid :D
(doesn't even have to cross a bridge over water to get here)
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Granted but the post/mail man gets attacked by a some one wielding a pointy bannana
I wish my tv reception was not so fuzzy (reminds me of a fuzzy animal i want to put through a jet turbine)
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Granted you no longer receive any kind of reception
I wish i had a pointy banana
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( :o It came true my TV went off)
Granted but it tastes of lemons
I wish I could come up with some really good corruptions for your wishes
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Granted but you forget them
And that one wasn't a corruption I love lemons>.>;
I wish I could think of some good wishes
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Granted but uh erm I've forgotten now ....Hmmmmm
I wish I could find my Garfield toy to snuggle into
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(mmm melted chocolate)
ooooh granted! ... almost just granted but for corruptions sake you find out there's a camera inside of it.
I wish the Hyatt had better hotel service
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Granted but the furniture is terrible
I wish I didn't have to get upo to get more soda
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granted you out of soda pop
i wish I had a glass of milk
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Granted but it's sour
I wish you hadn't called it "pop"
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granted but then I live next door to you and drive you maniacally insane untill you kill yourself.
i wish my corruptions weren't so morbid
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Granted but now they are sickingly happy
I wish I hadn't already lost my sanity
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granted but you are playing the trombone on the good ship lollipop.
I wish I was in pixie land
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Granted but its the evil kind of pixies
I wish i didn't have allergies
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granted but now you have some rare incurable disease instead.
I wish the evil pixies would make me an evil pixie too.
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Granted but you die a horrible horrible death in the process of being transformed
I wish my cousins would turn off fox news
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granted but now they're watching the Spanish news instead.
i wish i would rain jelly beans for one day.
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Granted but it's the day after you find out you have diabetes
I wish forrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr seriousness ?
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granted but then everything get substantially dull.
I wish I could multi task better.
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Granted but now you can't focus
I wish for a better pillow
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Granted but its a house brick
I wish I had a ex-military vehicle so I could go to the War and Peace display down in England.
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Granted but it doesn't go anywhere so you can't go anyway
I wish I had woken up earlier
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Granted but nothing happens
I wish I could get rid of these engine oil stains off my hands and arms
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Granted, you get into an accident and lose your arms.
I wish I didn't have a test in a couple of hours
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granted but then you have a test in a few minutes
I wish my chocolate bunny wasn't almost gone
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(my wish actually came true)
Granted but the last bit gets dropped in the garbage
I wish My hands wernt cold
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granted but then you burn them
i wish my laptop was faster
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Granted you overclock it too much though, it melts
I wish people would stop having political arguments around me
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granted but now they have religious arguments around you.
I wish i could have fun all day long.
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they already do that ... it switches between religious and political every couple of minutes
Granted but you die at the end of the day
I wish the semester was over
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granted but you flunked out all your classes.
I wish I had a fluffy baby bunny :-*
-
(thats actually not to far off T_T)
Granted but it kills you because you lack any holy hand grenades
I wish i had a holy hand grenade.
-
granted but it's evil and kills you
I wish my friend Jay would call me.
-
Granted but he calls to say he hates you
I wish i didn't have a cell phone anymore
-
(that would actually be better than him not calling me at all.)
granted but now you have a loud pager that goes off every five minutes
I wish i was in texas
-
granted but it gets blown up
I wish i didn't have to get up anymore
-
Granted. You die of infected bed sores. :(
I wish It was Saturday.
-
Granted but the world ended on friday
I wish that my package would arrive before my brother has to leave for work
-
granted but there's a bomb inside and it has less then a minute to go off when you get it.
I wish my shower could be more fun.
-
granted but the shower head shoots out boiling hot water >.>
I wish last monday's jick and skully show was better quality
-
granted but then all you can hear is fuzz
I wish I didn't have to wear business casual at con.
-
Granted your forced to go nude
I wish i was at home so I can play with the shiny new toy
-
that would make for an interesting con
granted but it's broken and no longer shiny
i wish i had a better job
-
Granted. You are now my personal puppie girl slave. Great Avvy by the way :-*.
I wish I was happy. :(
-
Granted but your amazing attitude pisses everybody else off and you no longer have anymore friends
hmm I wish for more food
-
Granted. Meet John Doe from Seven. :o
I wish everyone was happy. :D
-
Granted but it only lasts a fraction of a second
I wish people would not approach me as much in school
-
Granted. You are now my personal puppie girl slave. Great Avvy by the way :-*.
thank you:D. hrm that would be interesting but I'm a free puppy girl.
granted but they approach you after school instead
I wish sporks weren't evil
-
granted but now the spoons and forks revolt.
I wish people would stop approaching me in person
-
granted but then you get put in solitary confinement in the loony bin no electronics allowed.
i wish i had some cotton candy
-
granted but its poisoned
I wish for another cloudy day
-
Granted WELCOME TO SCOTLAND!!!! ;D ;D :P
I wish I could crack the bones in my right shoulder :(
-
Granted. They pop. Then they snap. Then they shatter. :(
I wish you didn't make this so easy for me. :P
-
Granted I shall now give you a test on the Thermal dynamics of a Rolls Royce RB 211 jet turbine engine and on Air Legislation you will only have 1hour and 30 minutes to answer all 150 questions.......your time starts NOW!!
I wish I was on holiday
-
granted but then you have to work a 24 hour shift everyother day for a month
I wish my allergies would go away
-
Granted but you develop scurvy instead
Iwish I had a giraffe
-
Granted but it kicks you in the face
I wish i had scurvy >.>;
-
Granted. It's not as awsome as you thought it was. ???
I wish that I never again have happen to me what happend to me yesterday. :(
-
granted but something worse happens tomorrow
i wish i could breathe right now
-
Granted but you breathe in Carbon Monoxide
I wish my nose was not blocked
-
granted you trip and break it, but it is no longer blocked.
I wish it were just a little warmer
-
Granted. The Earth flies into the Sun. :(
I wish that every wish didn't end in someones gruesome demise. :(
-
Granted but then the thread dissipates because that's the entire point of the thread.
I wish i wasn't tired ... ever
-
granted but now your eternally bored.
I wish I had an icecream cone. :-*
-
granted but you drop it as soon as you go to eat it
I wish that something would happen to the school so that all classes get considered as withdrawn, and a full refund for the semester was given... where I receive the effects fully
-
Granted it turns out that the teachers have forged teaching certificates (this is not a corruption know how hard it is as a fellow student)
I wish I could really let off steam and tell some one what I really think of them instead of being MR nice Odd all the time >:(
-
Granted you explode on them, go berserk and do a good ol' murder suicide.
I wish this cat would get off of me
(She keeps getting on me even after I push her off)
-
Granted it turns into a sabre toothed tiger and has you for its breakfast
I wish I was not addicted to these ANZAC biscuits
-
Granted. But that herion starts to look might good right about now... :o
I wish you all had a wonderful day. :D
-
Granted but yours sucked
I wish that we did more on that cesspool run.
-
Granted. But a what a man does in the privacy of his cesspool should be kept to himself. :'(
I wish I envited perverse innuedo so easily. :D
-
Granted but your wish was so misspelled it came out all wrong.
I wish my tummy wasn't feeling sickish :(
-
Granted you get gangrine on your limbs instead
I wish this work related stress migrane would disapear
-
Granted but you get a normal migraine a couple of minutes later.
I wish it weren't already 3:33
-
granted it is now 0840 (my time)
I wish I had some ANZAC biscuits :(
Edit: got the time wrong
-
Granted they turn out to be extremely radiated though
I wish that the other thing I pre-ordered would come out already
-
Granted but the dispacthers get the order wrong and it turns out to be a sex toy when you open the parcel.
I wish I had an X box with call of duty 4
-
Granted but you get red ring'd
I wish i had woken up earlier
-
granted but you went to sleep earlier too
I wish i had gotten more sleep last night
-
Granted but you overslept
I wish i took showers while i slept, so I didn't have to spend time during the day doing it
-
granted but you end up drowing in the cubicle since the drain gets blocked and the doors wont open since they get warped and distorted from the heat and steam generated.
I wish my right knee was not siezed after my hike yesterday.
-
Granted your left one is though
I wish my it was winter still
-
Granted but you get snowed in, lose all power, your pipes freeze and burst and the temp falls below -70 Degrees Celsius.
I wish this bad weather would go and bring in good weather
-
Granted but the good weather boils seas. Wonderful your good weather just caused the apocalypse
I wish it was 55 Degrees Fahrenheit.
-
Granted but it turns out to be -55 Degrees Farhenheit
I wish I could remember where I left my Chicken Wings books 1 and 2
-
Granted you remember, but you can't get to them
I wish my nose was no longer runny
-
Granted but you now phantom sneeze instead
I wish I had Digital TV
-
Granted. But everyone promptly goes back to analog. :-\
I wish I had some cheetos! :D
-
Granted but they're soggy for some reason ???
I wish my head didn't hurt anymore
-
Granted now it falls off
I wish my ex would stop fucking pissing me off!! >:(
-
Granted but now somehow gets you in jail
I wish that i had colder drinks
-
Granted but they are so cold they hurt your teeth
I wish I did not have these evil thought about hurting my ex (they might land me in jail)
-
Granted you don't think about it, you just do it
I wish my capslock key wasn't so sensitive
-
Granted now your keyboard blows up in your face
I wish there was some good progs on tv right now
-
Granted but your T.V stops working
I wish I knew what a "prog" was
-
(prog is my short hand for programme multi tasking here)
Granted but you still dont understand the way i type
I wish people would stop contacting me at the same time
-
Granted they now do it in perfect succession
I wish AI didn't cheat so fucking hard.
-
Granted now the AI is impossible to beat with out cheating
i wish this torrent would hurry up and down load
-
Granted but it demolishes you BIOS
I wish my Keyboard were better
-
granted but now you're monitor is crap.
I wish I had some good food for dinner
-
granted but you gave no good drinks
I wish my monitor was clean
-
Granted but you get no sound from your speakers when you play your Pandora station
I wish I had somehting to do.
-
Granted but you don't want to do that
I wish it was always like this, weather wise.
-
Granted. But you get sick of it.
I wish I had long pretty hair.
-
Granted but it strangles you in your sleep *it happens man, it happens*
I wish my hair didn't have all the split ends.
-
I DOES NOT!
Granted. You buy some special shampoo. :-\
I wish I wasn't all pissy today. >:(
-
Granted you're just really depressed instead
I wish I would stop sneezing
-
Granted. Sneezing requires breathing. :(
I wish I wasn't so hungry. :(
-
granted now your thirsty.
I wish i wasn't nervous.
-
Granted now you are so laid back you miss an imporant meeting
I wish my eyes did not hurt due to me being so tired.
-
Granted. They hurt so bad due to melting in thier sockets.
I wish life was more like Raiders of the Lost Arch! :D.
-
Granted but you get diced and sliced by the Horten flying wing propeller instead of the German soldier.
I wish I was off tonight instead of doing the last night shift of my working week
-
Granted but work explodes!
I wish that the package was sent out Wednesday and not Saturday
-
Granted but it is never seen again after getting lost in the mail.
I wish my work would explode (but im not in it or any where near it :P )
-
Granted and you can't find anymore work because they suspect you blew it up
I wish I could skip the unskipable
-
Granted. You miss all of lifes opertunities.
Granted I wish I was as happy as this smilie! :D
-
Granted but your face gets stuck like that
I wish I wasn't going out tonight
-
You never go out again on account of having half your face burned off by a cooking accident (which occurs tonight while you're at home), which makes you perpetually unattractive to um... whatever sex you like being attractive to...
I wish I had more time to finish my project.
-
(that actually wouldn't be to much different to my current life actually)
Granted but when you finish it your Professor tells you that he/she decided for it not to be worth any credit.
I wish it were a little cooler out
-
Granted it is now so cold satan ice skates to work and brings on another ice age
I wish this mess I'm in jsut now would disapear...along with my ex >:(
-
Granted you blink out of existence *voip*
I wish my mom weren't such a bitch
-
Granted she is now so attentive to you she makes you physicly sick
I wish I had enough money to get a place of my own with good internet conection
-
(she already does...)
Granted but payments go up after a couple months and you get evicted/foreclosed on.
I wish I was somewhere else.
-
Granted but its another place that has little or no rain fall
I wish I had a daft collie to take for walks
-
Granted. But it's 700 pounds, is badly behaved on a leash and has a taste for human flesh.
I wish someone would tell me that everthing was going to be okay! :(
-
Granted but that person just wanted your wallet.
I wish my electronics would stop malfunctioning on me.
-
Granted. They now malfuntion next to you! :P
I wish it was nightime. :D
-
Granted now it is continual darkness with no street lighting and you end up getting mugged on the way home.
I wish my Camo bush hat was not all out of shape and floppy. :(
-
Okay.... but everyone looks at you wierd becuase they have no idea what you're talking about. :'(
I wish things and stuff where interchangeble. And stuff. :D
-
granted but an interchangeable stuff gets lost.
I wish I hadn't crashed so early on saturday.
-
Granted you crahsed late Friday and still missed everything on Saturday
I wish I was on holiday
-
Granted! You take a wonderful trip to a tropical island...but upon arrival, there is a sudden outbreak of a deadly disease! There's no planes or boats leaving the isle out of fear of contamination.
I wish I could pass my History Class before June 19th.
-
Granted you pass it, but somehow end up failing everything else
I wish I had a stronger will to practice.
-
Granted, You become an obsessed schizophrenic that only cares about drumming. And mumbling to himself. :(
I wish a had a sandwich.
-
Cool I'm partway there!
Granted but the sandwich is old and nasty
I wish I didn't have to move to get my food.
-
Granted. But it's introveinis so it misses your mouth entirely and you can't enjoy the savory delicousness.
-
Since you did not make a wish things turn out all rainbows and lollipops.
I wish It was friday night all ready ;D
-
Granted but Friday got canceled. Sorry
I wish my paper was done and with a B letter grade on it.
-
(Knowning my luck the whole weekend will be :( )
Granted but the grade still does not get you into your choosen college or university
I wish I knew what was planned for this weekend
-
Granted but because you found out, the world is changed for the worst
I wish that I my eye wasn't so dammed itchy
-
Granted but you rub it so much you poke it out and can not be put back in again.
I wish I was not cranky this morning due to my hay fever (ran out of meds)
-
Granted you just have the flu now
I wish it was 1 o'clock AM again
-
Granted now your stuck in a time warp ala Ground Hog Day.
I wish I could eat and eat and never be full.
-
Granted but now the United Nations Security Council send out its combined forces to kill you since you are now the source of the world food shortage.
I wish I was not nervous about this weekend :-[
-
Granted
Your going to die on friday.
Now you don't have to worry about the weekend.
I wish I had some french fries.
-
Granted, but before handing them to you the server used them to scratch the underside of his ass. All of them.
I wish I had high speed internet.
-
Granted, but your service provider just went into bankrupcy due to the crackdowns on file sharing networks.
I wish I'd be less affected by all the gorgeous women I see
-
granted but now you only see ugly woman
i wish smiles' car was easier for me to drive.
-
Granted: But it's impossible for you to stop.
I wish I could possess objects ala Satan. :D
-
Granted you are now Satan but lose the battle between good and evil.
I wish the weather is good tommorrow while im out Geo-Caching
-
granted but you catch no geos
I wish i didn't have a headache
-
granted but now you have the swine flu. :P
I wish the hype about swine flu would go away.
-
Granted. Now the media tries to terrify the populous with another overblown danger!
Oh wait... :'(
I wish I wasn't so cynical. :-\
-
granted but then everyone else you know is more cynical and you end up breaking a leg as a result.
I wish mom had told us a month earlier that she was throwing a surprise party for my aunt
-
Granted but you didn't prepare at all so nothing has changed
I wish I could eat something really good.
-
granted but you end up in the hospital due to an allergic reaction from the food
i wish my leg would heal quicker
-
Granted but it ends up two inches shorter than the other one
I wish this hay fever did not make me so grumpy
-
Granted. It makes you delerious.
I wish for a sandwitch.
-
granted but it is an evil sand witch that curses you
I wish my sinus headache and low grade fever would disappear
-
Granted now you have a constant tooth ache.
I wish I could remember what I was about to type.
-
granted but that doesn't really help you now, does it.
I wish I could speak my mind to whomever.
-
Granted but it only lands you in intensive care after getting beaten up.
I wish I had a sexy female maid to clean up my room. ;D
-
Granted but she steals anything worth anything then kills you slowly with poison.
I wish I would grow a pair.
-
*Hmm what would she do with engine parts and a pair of X-country ski's?*
Granted but its a pair of sunflowers
I wish my car will pass its MOT tommorrow. (road worthy test)
-
Granted but you get into an accident that destroys it.
I wish that it was earlier in the night.
-
granted but you somehow get radiation posioning from the time machine
I wish getting to texas from IL didn't take so long
-
Granted but everything in between gets crushed and thrown into a giant fissure.
I wish I was god admin of entire internet.
-
Granted but you crash it and ruin it for every one else
I wish my cycle helmet had a better sweat band.
-
Granted, but the protective abilities are substandard. Luckily, you'll never know if you never crash (yea right).
I wish I had the time and energy to clean up around here.
-
Granted but you're now addicted to speed.
I wish the people around me understood my quirks
(Wow that doesn't sound emo at all >.>; )
-
Granted but you stop being an individual and become like everyone else.
I wish I knew where my rain went to and what this huge yellow orb in the sky is the produces warmth? (is it the bringer of doom and destruction of us all?)
-
granted but know you know too much
I wish the house would clean itself.
-
granted but then you never know where anything is and it throws out all your scrapbooking items
I wish i could go to the matsuri saturday without missing work.
-
Granted you are now able to poduce clones of your self..................That turn out to be evil and end up going on a killing spree for which you get the blame and end up getting the death sentence.
I wish Big Brother would stop being produced >:(
-
Granted. Now it's syndicated.
INSIDE YOUR HEAD!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA
I wish for a cupcake! :-*
-
Granted, but its an EVIL cupcake.
I wish I had 2 more hours to sleep.
-
Granted. If by "two hours" you mean twenty years.
Hey, genies have a stange concept of time, whatcha gonna do?
I for a cooler afternoon; it's hotter then a motherfucker today. :(
-
granted it snows in your house.
Meanie sis.
I wish i had pudding right now.
-
Granted but its Black Pudding (not going to tell you whats in it :P )
I wish I had some eye drops.
-
granted but they blind you
i wish i could afford to pay car insurance so i could get a car
-
Granted but you can only afford to insure a clapped out rust bucket....hmm reminds me of my first car which was a Ford Orion.
-
Granted. You wish for nothing, and are therefore obliterated.
I wish for a Razzly Pet. :D
-
Granted, you are now the proud owner of a wild deathclaw who listens to the name Razzly
I wish my 40k models came to life in full scale.
-
Granted by they are your Chaos Space Marines and sacrafice you to the Blood God as soon as they see you.
I wish soap operas got discontinued and taken off TV
-
granted, but they are replaced by 24/7 re-runs of teletubbies...
I wish my woman was here instead of having a cold in her house 700km away...
-
Granted now she has a cold in your house and infects everyone and your government now must use White Phosphurous and its illegal stocks of Napalm to eradicate the virus to prevent it from spreading.
I wish I was on my two weeks off work and back on my travels again.
-
WISH GRANTED! Unfortunatly you got hit by a bus and had to spend your two weeks in the hospitol being cared for by a 200lbs Albanian woman names Grusilda =3
I wish I had a Nickle!
-
Granted...thou....that's all you have...All love,health,sex and money left you!
-
I wish Leana would make a wish.
-
since you did not make a wish for me to corrupt Selan everything comes up roses ;D
I wish I did not have to work my last three shifts before I go on holiday next week
-
Granted! You get fired!
I wish Selan would love me and wouldn't corrupt all my wishes and grant me a happy life :) (whoops,three wishes :o)
-
All three are granted but you end up getting hit by a bus tommorrow morning
I wish I had a good digital SLR camera to take with me in two weeks time :(
-
granted but the batteries die before you get to use it and they are un-replaceable.
i wish i could go to the "passion" party on Thursday in oak park.
-
Granted but it gets canceled
I wish my orange juice actually tasted like oranges...
-
Granted but the juice has the bitz in it! MMMMMMMMMWWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHA
i was I did not feel dizzy and faint.
-
Granted you get sick and faint instead.
I wish that I woke up 3 hours ago. instead of 30 minutes ago.
-
Granted but then you wish you had woken up 3 hours before that and get stuck in a loop
I wish my nose was not itchy.
-
Granted you break your nose because you walking to a door because your eyes were itchy
I wish it was a better temperature to deal with in the house.
-
*that has almost happend damn hayfever*
Granted but the temperature is now so low all life forms freeze and Satan Skates to work
I wish it was not so humid and muggy tonight.
-
That's pretty cool *pun completely intended)
Granted but its much much hotter and extremely dry now
I wish i could refill my drink.... WITH MY MIND!
-
Granted but now you are drinking your own brain cells since they have turned into liquid
I wish I found a hay fever remidy that actually worked
-
Granted but it's side effects are worse than the hay fever
I wish I was home right now
-
Granted but you find that your heart is in a cardboard box, thus the box becomes your new home. Enjoy.
I wish I weren't nocturnal.
-
Granted you are crepuscular...
I wish i would go on a holiday to south africa
-
Granted but you find out its not that great and want to come home on the first day but you are stuck there for a month.
I wish my eyes would stop watering.
-
Granted...your eyes fall out!
I wish i would have supernatural skills
-
Granted but all you can do is turn into a puddle of liquid and nothing else.
I wish I could find my air matress
-
Granted....and you go on this nice camping-trip and then you realise it has a leak in it...
I wish this never ever happens to me again...
-
Granted THIS does not happen again but THAT does repeatedly...
I wish the weather is good for this weekend
-
Granted...it's great weather....in the Netherlands!
I wish tomorrow will be a great day
-
Granted but not where you are :P
I wish I could find my digi cam battery charger
-
granted but then you can't find your memory chip.
I wish my camera hadn't gotten broken on the fourth.:(
-
granted, it didn't get broken but the rechargeable batteries ace through the contacts in the camera. *i think those are the right words*
I wish I hadn't forgotten to
-
You didn't forget...thou it makes no diffrence to anyone and you end up getting corrupted!
I wish i wouldn't care about anything at all...
-
i actually had forgotten to finish my sentence >.>;
Granted you are emotionless, and die alone cause you don't care about being alone. *it's not all that it's cracked up to be... not caring that is*
I wish I knew how the human mind worked.
-
Granted...now you know and actuallty think that it pretty much sucks...you end up being dissapointed and really sad.
I wish people would care more....
-
Granted but now they care too much and are suffocating.
I wish my laptop would stay cooler
-
It's cool...actually..it's freezing just like your genitals :)
I wish i wouldn't be stung by musquitoes
-
*they dont sting they bite*
Granted but you get stung by killer wasps instead
i wish i had more chocolate sundaes
-
wait what?! ouch
granted now you have ticks and leeches on you now
Granted but it;s Chocolax
I wish i had a set of playing cards.
-
Granted but they are wet and fall apart
I wish I had put my soda in the fridge earlier *ewww warm soda*
-
Granted, but it was open, and is now flat
I wish i wasn't ill
-
Granted you are in the peak of physical fitness......then you get hit by a bus
I wish my mother was not a sadist
-
what is this final destination?
granted shes now a masochist, and demands you spank her
I wish for my money back.
-
Granted but it is monopoly money and is totaly worthless
I wish my laptop would stop cheating and crash when i am winning on CoH: Opposing Fronts
-
Granted, it won't run the game any more
I wish that I had to deal with less physical pain daily.
-
Granted...now you are just mentally ill...
I wish my car would be fixed again...
-
Granted but it gets used for target practice by tanks from the Dutch Army.
I wish this strange feeling would leave me alone
-
Granted...This strange feeling turns into a strange action...what results into running around the streets naked.
I wish there would be some-one really nice waiting for me in my bed
-
Granted...now you are just mentally ill...
Already there...
Granted but he only wants to kill you dead
I wish I didn't just spend the last hour shopping
-
Granted instead you spend the whole day in the bank as a hostage while it is being robbed
I wish I could get this daft ong out of my head (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAYLD06MefI)
-
granted. but first you have to remove your brain. :-\
I wish this wasn't so easy.
-
Granted I will let you have some of my past exam questions to do and only 20 minutes to do them all in and they aint mulitiple choice.
I wish I did not have all this pent up energy
-
Granted instead you have pent up remorse. And kill yourself in a moment of weakness. :(
I wish the world was a better place.
-
Granted but it isn't for you, just everybody else
i wish Trillian would stop giving me shit
-
Granted: you now don't know who Trillian is. Um like me. :'(
I wish I was a glass cannon.
-
trillain is a IM program
Granted but somebody pokes you with a stick and you die
I wish I would stop having internet problems
-
granted. you become lawnmower man.
I wish I knew what to do today. :-\
-
granted but there is no more time to do it
I wish my stool would... nevermind it just showed up.
I wish it would be put together correctly
-
granted. but it's an Evil Correctly. :P
I wish everyone was silly like me.
-
Awesome i love the evil
Granted but now your just like everybody else. and nobody likes a face in the crowd ;D
i wish i had more soda.
-
Granted you're house is flooded with syrupy fizzyness. Did you also wish for a Container? :'( Oh well. :D
I wish for THE POWER OF ROCK! :D
-
Granted you turn into a non-sentient stone
I wish i didn;t have to clean so much
-
Granted. Wellcome to Slobsvill!
If you want something, get it yourself. ;D
I wish I was a sucessful author.
-
granted but then you get arrested for identity theft
I wish for, some money, real money. more than a dollar
-
Granted you rob a bank end up shooting a hostage and get the death sentence
I wish this pc would run faster
-
Granted. But what are going to do with defunct Russian currency buried underneath your house?
:'(
Granted, it runs right out the door.
I wish for bimbos, lots and lots of bimbos. Preferably in cute costumes. :-*
-
Granted you turn into Benny Hill
I wish that my last wish got granted
-
Granted but they're chock full of STI's
Granted but you overclocked it and it explodes. *not joking you blow it the hell up*
I wish I had a bunch of defunct russian currency.
-
Granted you can have mine
i wish I could remember where i left my digi cam battery charger
-
Granted. It's in your digimon.
;D
I wish for outside.
-
Granted but you end up on the Polar Ice Cap with no artic clothing
I wish for some freshly squeezed orange juice
-
Granted. It is freshly squeesed out of your testicals. :(
I wish I didn't have such a sadistic imagination.
-
Granted you have this wonderful imagination that can up with power stations that dont pollute the enviroment but they still end up destrying the Earth.
I wish this blue tack would work instead of my posters falling off the wall all the time
-
Granted but it put a huge hole in your wall
i wish that mosquitos weren't able to drain my blood
-
Granted but then the eat your bones and you die.
i wish i wasn't to tired to go out after dinner tonight
-
granted but you get food poisoning from where you eat
I wish this seat were more comfortable.
-
granted but then your keyboard stops working properly.
I wish i wasn't tired
-
Granted you're no longer tired, people aren't tired while they sleep.
I wish I wasn't so itchy.
-
Granted. No skin, no itchness, right.
I wish everyone loved Drowning Pool -Bodies as much as I did. Yay! :-*
-
granted but but you hear it so much now that you get really sick of it.
I wish for a day of fun
-
Granted. Becuase you deserve it. ASSHOLE.
I wish I knew more people with Turretts Syndrome becuase they're entertaining.
-
HA wth?
Granted but they constantly say things about how they don't like you
I wish I would stop having this giant urge, to reinstall FFXI (PERDUCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.... I mean BRIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!)
-
granted. I neither want to know or know what any of that means.
I wish for less drama.
-
granted , there is NO drama and you're completely bored
I wish people wouldn't talk so much. *not you guys, the people around me.*
-
Granted you are now deaf,bumb and blind
I wish I did not have this horrible taste in my mouth
-
granted... you die a horrible slow death tomorrow
I wish my brother would keep his fucking phone IN HIS ROOM
-
Granted. You die a horrible death.
Wait- what was your wish? :'(
I wish for more wishes.
-
Granted but they're limited to wishes about coupons, for Walmart.
I wish I was asleep right now.
-
Granted but you miss out on winning the national lottery and becoming a multi millionare
I wish my new hay fever remedy worked
-
Granted but you're ironically allergic to the hay fever remedy
I wish I had some panacea
-
Granted but I miss read it and give you some Placenta instead
I wish I could have my front teeth back
-
Hey this stuff is good for ya!
granted... But they're made of depleted uranium
I wish I had some good food, on a plate, with utensils, cooked properly, that isn't old?
-
Granted but it tastes ODD
I wish I had a plane so I could fly down instead of driving for 8 hrs tommorrow
-
Granted, but you lose both your engines and die on your way down.
I wish I wasn't so hungry
-
Granted...want some of mine? off to see what I can burn erm mean cook ;D
I wish I had gourmet chef to cook for me
-
Granted, but it was gourmet chef/ assassin, hired to kill you.
I wish ... brb
-
Your not right back....you stay where you are forever and that makes you go crazy!
I wish i would like weak guys
-
Granted but they find you way to domineering
I wish I had another sandwich.
-
Granted...it's one with vegemite....
I wish i wouldn't be irritated quickly!
-
granted, you're just always irritated now
I wish I could try vegemite
-
You get to try it and you hate it....but you have to finish the sandwich.
I wish my car would be fixed
-
Granted but you crash it within the week
I wish for... something meaningful
-
Granted but it turns out to be totaly pointless
I wish Channel 4 would put on some recent Simpsons instead of reruns
-
Granted but they're recent reruns
I wish that my winamp would stop giving me songs I don't want to listen to.
-
Granted now it only plays Dolly Parton
I wish I found my missing webcomic book
-
how are those not songs i don't want to listen to.
granted but it's all ruined
I wish something good was on tv
-
Granted.
But it's an EVIL something. :P
I wish for puppies!
-
Granted but they are Cerberus' puppies, and will eat you
I wish for.... uhm.... lets see... nothing
-
Granted. You cease to exsist.
I wish for Destuction! AND SUFFERING!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-
Granted YOU will be destructed and suffer to dead :) all others will live happily ever after :)
I am such a loving person to grant you this :)
I wish for loads of money to buy a kite :)
-
Granted.
BECAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GET EXACTLY THAT!
...
:'(
Ominiously? :-\
I wish for more time.
-
Granted you move your clocks back so you have more time
I wish I had woken up when I wanted to
-
Granted. You woke yourself up by peeing the bed.
Poor bed.
I wish for a bowl of fruit.
-
granted but the fruit is all rotten
I wish I didn't have to grind so much./ I wish I liked grinding.
-
I wish you werent a skater.
Granted. Your not a skater.
Sorry I reversed that, and got the frist part second and the second part first. But funny thing is it works both backwords as well as forwards.
-
heh, wrong kinda grinding
Granted I'm not skater, I'm a cereal (spelt this way on purpose) killer
I wish i didn't have to go to a wedding on sunday.
-
heh, wrong kinda grinding
Granted I'm not skater, I'm a cereal (spelt this way on purpose) killer
I wish i didn't have to go to a wedding on sunday.
Watchoo mean? Level grinding?
If you mean level grinding you should say level grinding. I mean it could mean just about anything else otherwise. Like grinding up your victims to make sausage. Or something.
Granted BTW. You become to appathetic to care. Like how I granted this wish, kinda.
I wish I only ever did fun things.
-
Granted, but those things eventually aren't fun anymore
I wish I didn't have to do everything around here
Yea I meant level grinding. But to me that's the only type! Although I do occasional grind people up for sausage too.
-
Granted. And it backfires spectacularly.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Firefly?from=Main.Serenity
mmmmm. sasuage.
I wish for susuage. And eggs.
Yummy. :-*
-
granted but the sausage was undercooked adn you get tape worm
I wish i hadn't thought of that, because I had sausage the other day.
-
Granted. Your results may vary. Offer not valid in all fity states. void wher probibited.
I wish for less lawyers.
-
Granted but then your rights are severely violated and nobody can help you.
I wish to be less congested.
-
Granted. All the cars drive away.
I wish for eternal life,
-
Granted but you only live on as a zombie, decayed flesh and all.
I wish my Nose were less congested.
-
I know what you ment, I was just fucking with you. :P
Also your wish is granted. The corruption is that nothing actually happens
becuase of some clever word play/sadistic imagination on my part. [phones it in/]
I wish for some thing innoucous and altrusitic with full knoweldge that it'll blow up in my face.
*sigh* :-\
-
I know what you ment, I was just fucking with you. :P
I know I just wanted to see how you were gonna corrupt the correct thing
Granted but it doesn't blow up in your face, and you spend the rest of your days worrying about.
I wish I didn't just eat so much
-
I'm bord Pozf.
I'm gonna go take a show now.
-
granted you drown cuz you didn't make a wish.
I wish my sunburn wasn't peeling(ewwww)
-
Granted, you got blisters instead.
I wish that my arms didn't itch
-
granted the rest of your body itches.
I wish Scottie hadn't put a hole in the kitchen ceiling while i was cooking.:O
-
It totally does... DAMN YOU!
Granted he just blows up the stove instead.
I wish I wouldn't get extremely itchy when I get nervous.
-
granted your ankles swell up instead
i wish i could take work off tomorrow and still get paid
-
Granted, but your clone kills you in your sleep
I wish i had more patience.
-
Granted...but you get overly patient and stop doing anything at all....
I wish i would be normal
-
Granted but now you're just like everybody else... BORING
I wish I didn't have to leave.
-
'Granted...your adicted to the forum and can't leave me :)
I wish you didn't have to leave
-
I am, and don't want to
Granted, But i'm pretty parasitic, we should get married, WHY DON'T YOU RETUERN MY LOVE! >.>;
I wish I hadn't burned my mouth on that eggroll
-
Granted you burn you mouth on the cold coffee instead
I wish these nettle stings would clear up
-
Granted...you now have ants running around and partying in your boxers :)
I wish i read this earlier :) (WHEN ARE WE PLANNING THE WEDDING???)
I am, and don't want to
Granted, But i'm pretty parasitic, we should get married, WHY DON'T YOU RETUERN MY LOVE! >.>;
I wish I hadn't burned my mouth on that eggroll
-
Granted you and Pozf end up getting married and end up having lots of little rugratz (there is no need to corrupt that wish since that is bad enough)
I wish I had gone on my own Geocaching today
-
Granted....You did and you kept on looking for yourself...you kept on going in circles and circles and circles and circels...do i need to say more?
I wish my holiday wouldn't almost be over....
-
Granted you are now on a permament holiday and get fired from work/kicked out of school (delete as suitable to you)
I wish I could get my PADI scuba course finished
-
Granted....but after finishing this...it finishes you off....
I wish i would be able to kitesurf really well :)
-
*Get the feeling if that does not my hiking will*
Granted you are now so good you take part in a local compation get to the finals but end up getting pulled off the board by a sudden strong up draught and land so hard on the beach you break your back and can never walk again.
I wish I knew why I can be so negative in this thread
-
Granted,you realise you are a very depressed and negative person....what makes you even more depressed and you decide to think about this all day...what makes you stay in bed forever...
I wish my housemate would make me a nice meal...
-
Granted but he/she puts something you're allergic to in it
I wish I whole body didn't ache
Edit:
I wish i read this earlier :) (WHEN ARE WE PLANNING THE WEDDING???)
Not soon enough ;)
-
Granted...your whole body is numb...and you can't do anything at all...
I wish i would be able to quit smoking
-
Granted but you get addicted to something else
I wish I wasn't ill
-
Granted!
Did it work?
I wish i could work as a stewardess
-
Granted but you have to deal with extremely obnoxious flyers
I wish I knew what I wanted to do.
-
Granted, you know what you want to be, but every-time you know it and actually get your degree...you get sick of it :p...(Just like me)
I wish i would fall in love with a guy!
-
Granted, but he's a scumbag.
I wish for an easier time falling asleep
-
Granted but you happen to fall asleep while crossing the road and get used as a speed hump.
I wish I had new battries for my hand held GPS system
-
granted but the batteries leak acid and ruin your GPS
I wish for the headache to go away
-
Granted you get a sore neck instead
I wish for some thing to do
-
granted but it doesn't help
I wish for
-
what ever you think of is so evil it eats you
I wish it will be a unny day tommorrow so I can go out
-
Granted but you get hit by a car when you do go out and end up in intensive care for a week.
I wish the 6th harry potter movie wasn't so awful.
-
granted! but the original cut was lost in a fire so the project was scrapped for another ben stiler movie
I wish my foot would heal faster
-
Granted but te rest of your body falls to peices quickly
I wish people would put up notes to say if a cache has been removed.
-
Granted but they do it even when they don't
I wish my brother could actually drive standard
-
granted but then he steals your car for a joyride.
I wish i got paid today.
-
Granted but they only payed you a fraction of what you owe
I wish My slurpee hadn't melted.
-
granted but your best freind ate it.
I wish I was out of debt
-
*don't have a best friend :P *
Granted but that was illegal
I wish I liked heros
-
granted but they don't like you
I wish I had icecream
-
Granted but it's icecream soup
I wish like i liked heros *the food*
-
granted it's yr most favortie food in the world... but you're deathly allergic to it.
I wish I wasn't allergic to cats
-
granted but now cats are allergic to you
I wish for something to do
-
granted but you can't figure out how to do it.
I wish my fun mood would carry over till and through tomorrow.
-
Granted but it fades away after noon
i wish I was properly motivated
-
granted you are motivated to give all your possesions to charity.
i wish mum would stop yelling at me about getting a different job.
-
granted you have a new job, but now she tells you your old job was better
I wish it wasn't so late
-
Granted its early in the morning and your are asleep
I wish this so called heat wave would come to "Sunny" Scotland and get rid of the rain for a while
-
granted but your air conditioner dies and you can't stand the heat
I wish I had a baby bunny for a pet
-
Granted but it's the evil bunny from Holy Grail
I wish it was cooler out.
-
granted it's snowing out.
I wish my monty python bunny wouldn't eat me.
-
Granted but he eats everybody you care about
I wish it Was snowing
-
granted but you just got eaten by my bunny rabbit so you can't enjoy it.
I wish i was less Naive
-
Granted but now you look into things too much and get completely paranoid
I wish I was more imaginative
-
granted but now you can't tell reality from fictional
I wish I wasn't sleepy
-
Granted but you can never go to sleep now
I wish i didn't have sores in my mouth
-
that saves so much time.
Granted but now your tooth hurts.
i wish there was better stuff on television at this time of night.
-
Granted, it just switches programing with the daytime, so now daytime TV sucks instead
I wish I was tired
-
that's fine i usually sleep in the day anyway or else i'm online/at work so ;P
Granted but you can't fall asleep.
I wish I had a pepsi
-
Granted but somebody shook it.
I wish I could afford my new drum equipment.
-
granted but some wacko that delivers it breaks it before you get it.
I wish I had a million dollars.
-
Granted but it's counterfeit
I wish for, something good to happen.
-
granted but right after that soemone dies.
I wish death was a more trivial thing
-
Granted, but you no longer have emotions
I wish that I wasn't so itchy
-
granted but not your sticky
I wish i didn't Need sleep ever
-
Granted but when you don't sleep you become delusional, but you still don't Need it.
I wish I would stop recycling wishes
-
granted and the pink bunnies rejoice in your presence...
sorry heh
I wish people could just all be friends and be happy.
-
Granted we forget all our diffrences and get along, the world forsakes war ,Nuclear weapons are banned and are blasted out into space then at thier apogee the weapons turn round and head back to earth eventually destroying it.
I wish I could regulate my breathing better while under water.
-
Granted but it takes so much practice and you get into a fatal accident during one of those practice dives
I wish I could go scuba diving.
-
Granted without any corruption
I wish I never got a 14" pizza :(
-
awesome
Granted but you got a smaller one that left you unfulfilled
I wish people wouldn't show up today.
-
*now for the pay back for your last wish*
Granted but instead you get dragged around to visit evryone and your mother takes with her your baby photos and embarasses you with them and tells all the storys about you when you where a baby.
I wish I had more Cola
-
She pretty much does that anyway
Granted but it's cooling your computer, poorly.
I wish I had the will to do something.
-
Granted but that will is to run round the world in a mankini.
I wish..........dam brain freeze
-
Granted your brain is frozen solid
I wish for some canned air.
-
Granted but it is stale air.
I wish for some ice cream
-
granted but it's laced with sand
i wish I lived with my bf
-
Granted but soon you find him wearing your undies
I wish my MSN was working
-
:'( my bf wouldn't be able to fit my undies over one leg, let alone wear them.... :'(
granted but you lose the next jello twister round cuz your flipside connection vanishes
I wish I had an egg omlet
-
*I'm going to loose any hoo*
Granted but its made so quick its still liquid
I wish these paint fume induced headaches would go away :'(
-
granted but you fall asleep in the absence of fumes
I wish I could be online everywhere I went
-
Granted but your connection is slower than dialup
I wish i had some more watermelon
-
Granted but you end up with all the seeds
I wish I had some soda right now
-
*shudders at dial up slowness*
granted but pozf spills it all over you
i wish i had some pizza
-
Granted but its whats left over from my post dive pizza from two days ago
I wish these inscet bites would clear up
-
*wears the pizza as a hat*
granted but now you have a sunburn
I wish i had a cow
-
Granted but it takes you to the slaughter house and turns you into steaks
I wish I could remember this joke I heard
-
granted but no one you tell it to gets the punch line.
I wish I had new shoes
-
granted but they are too small and give you blisters.
i wish i hadn't accidentally sliced my finger with the steel scrubby at work.:(
-
Granted, but you lost a finger tip during a knife accident
I wish my family would get off my back
-
Granted but now they are standing on your chest.
I sih my boss's where not wnakers and could organise a rota properly.
-
Granted but they fire you because you're being inefficient.
I wish I would stop pulling my hair out.
-
granted but it starts falling out on it's own.
I wish I didn't have to dye my hair blond.
-
Granted you leave it to go grey
I wish I could get round to installing my reliable and secure WiFi system
-
Granted, but in the meantime your brain turned to mush and now you're unable to.
I wish I'd gone out with my friends yesterday.
-
Granted but you didn't have any fun.
Wish I didn't have to do chores today.
-
Granted instead you get dragged out shopping by your mother
I wish I was not nervous about my first Open Water dive next weekend.
-
Granted but your fearlessness leads to carelessness and you die because you forgot to properly check your equipment
I wish that I knew where all my proxy cards were
-
You know where all those cards are....thou...now you've lost the most important cards in your life...the cards to freedom :)
I wish i would be smart and go to bed now...
-
Granted you go to bed, but you never wake up again
I wish my brother would clean up his own messes
-
Granted but he throws it into your room (if you have one to your self that is)
I wish my mouth was not dry
-
Granted....you drank so much your belly feels like its exploding....
I wish this moth would leave my computer screen allone
-
Granted but it decides to fly into your eye
I wish I was a couple hours earlier
-
Granted but nothing exciting or pleasurable happens
I wish I could tell my bosses where to stick thier poxy job.
-
Granted, but your old boss got sacked the other week, they got replaced by an Ork Mad doc' specializing in the field of bioniks...
I wish my GF would have completed the interrior painting of my chaos warhound...
-
Granted instead of the colour scheme you wanted its now bright pink with yellow polka dots.
I wish i did not get cut off all the time while talking to a good friend of mine while on WiFi.
-
granted but it made you lose the jello twister. :P
I wish to be in the next Jello twister game and not lose first.
-
Granted. You become so good at jello twister that you are named the Queen of Jello. You receive your crown, robe, and twisted scepter in a great ceremony / jello twister party. There are bowls of jello, jello shots, jello wrestling (of all gender combinations of course), jello fights, jello sculptures, and big ol' vats of jello in all colors! You reign is short, for at the coronation you go mad with power, and the people rise up (out of the jello) to overthrow you. You are sent to the guillotine.
Luckily, it's made of jello.
I wish I posted here more often.
-
granted you get carpal tunnel
i wish i had a vehicle of my own.
-
Granted its called a mountain bike
I wish my contact lenses would stop slipping down making my vision all blurred
-
having a new mountain bike wouldn't be such a bad thing.
granted you get laser surgery to correct your eyesight and end up blind
i wish i didn't have to go to work tomorrow
-
Granted, you get the mexican-flu and are banned everywhere!
I wish i could go kite-surfing tomorrow instead of working
-
Granted but your boss sees you flying gracefully through the air and sacks you on the spot
I wish that the evil scum bucket that stole my R/c plane last night would curl up and die from something really nasty
-
Granted....and it ends up to be your best friend...and he didn't steel it, but just borrow it :s
I wish my flatmate would be handsome and attractive
-
She is, but you're straight. Then someone posts a really uncreative corruption for your wish.
I wish to be more popular!
-
You are...and then you get the mexican flu and every-one will bann you from everywhere :)
(my flatmate is a guy...)
I wish i could go to australia right now
-
Granted, but the plane taking you there goes down in the middle of the ocean, killing you and everybody else
I wish I was asleep
-
Granted, you died.
"eternal rest its the Best!"
I wish for unlimited cool things
-
You freeze to death.
I wish it was easier to keep up with both this forum and the BSF forum as well as Facebook.
-
Granted but you are so effective at keeping up you grow board
I wish I wish I was a fish
-
Granted but you cant swim
I wish this forcasted heat wave would appear
-
Can anyone say DEATH BY GLOBAL WARMING?
Ecosystems collapse, worldwide famine ensues, disease wipes out much of humanity...
And just to be cruel the Fates decide to have an asteroid hit Earth and knock it into the Sun.
I wish I could stay up late on forums without suffering any consequences.
-
Granted but if you leave the forums, you die
I wish I didn't keep have to getting up to get food.
-
Granted, but you are now made of chips, so you have to eat yourself :P.
I wish calculus was easy.
-
Calculus is easy... for me! But I guess you're just unlucky.
I wish, um, lemme think of one, uh, I had some Cool Hwip.
-
Granted, but it's all moldy now.
I wish I had another week of vacation.
-
Granted but you have to spend it over here in "Sunny" Scotland and it rains all the time from the time you land until you fly back home.
I wish I was out scuba diving this morning.
-
BANNED for scuba div--oops I posted in the wrong thread.
-
granted the scooba diveing bann is lifted and everyone jumps in the water.
i wish the shark wouldn't eat me
-
Granted instead the dolphins do
I wish I was I had my stolen model plane back
-
granted but it's broken beyond repair.
i wish I didn't have to get dressed today.
-
Dude, remember what I said earlier? YOU DON'T. IT'S OKAY TO BE NAKED ALL YOU WANT.
I wish more people understood that.
-
Granted but they don't understand anything else you say
I wish for nothing more to happen today.
-
Granted, but that's because the universe has ceased to exist, and you are now dead.
I wish it weren't so late already.
-
Granted but due to you warping time and space you have created a black hole everything gets sucked into it and is destroyed.
I wish for a black hole.
-
Granted, but it's only the size of a large pizza, so it doesn't do much damage.
I wish for more sunshine.
-
Granted but you are allergic so you need to stay inside all the time.
I wish i could jump high
-
Granted you have now been turned into a Kangaroo
I wish for a pizza
-
granted but the toppings are all things you don't like.
i wish i didn't have work today.
-
WTF You have work on Sundays? Goodness gracious, that's a wish you deserve to have come true!
I wish for the next person's post to be really creative.
-
Granted but I dont want to show off my creative skills
I wish for a jam and cheese sarnie
-
Granted a guy named Samie knocks on your door wearing nothing but jam and cheese. ;D :'(
I wish i could allude sleep.
-
Granted but the rest of the world sleeps for a thousands years
I wish for some good weather for a change.
-
Granted, but you sprain your ankle, so you can't really enjoy it.
I wish I wasn't so gassy :-[.
-
granted but now you have heart burn
I wish i had some yummy blueberry pie
-
Granted, but only because somebody threw it at you in a pie fight.
I wish the tent city in my back yard this weekend would SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!
-
granted but then things are errily quiet. too quiet and paranoia sets in.
I wish i had a nickel for every time i've heard the words "i want a pony"
-
Granted, but you don't have a piggy bank large enough to hold them all.
I wish it weren't so hot in here.
-
Granted, it's so cold, you die!
I wish i wasn't addicted to smoking
-
Granted now you get addicted to fresh air
I wish I did not just get Ninja'd by Selan
-
Granted, you Ninja'd me instead
I wish I had a life size Warhound class titan
-
Granted but it is made out of cheese
I wish for a glass of milk to go with my cheese and jam rolls
-
granted but it's sour from being left out
I wish the sacrifice to go well.
-
Granted but you end up on the slab as well MMMMMMWWWWWWHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough,hack splutter ah thats got it*
I wish this forum would not move so fast while im trying post in another thread
-
nu uh you'd have to chain me up and drug me first!XP :P
granted but now your page loads super slowly.
i wish the whole world was a nudist colony! ;D
-
Granted but the conditions are of the South Polar regions set in it Sumer I.E -40 degree c temps and 50+ MPH winds
I wish the Lappy stopped fucking me about
-
It does, but ... that's ... bad ... somehow.
I wish I knew what the F@$% you were talking about.
-
Granted I tell you and your brain turns into mush
I wish I did not have bad side affects from Iboprufen :(
-
granted the ibuprofen doesn't work at all and you are still in pain.
i wish my neck/upper back wasn't hurting
-
*It did not work and I am still in pain :( *
Granted instead you pop your left knee out of joint
I wish my left knee would pop back into place
-
Granted, but now your left elbow is out of place.
I wish the weekend was longer.
-
Granted...now your weekend never ends, but you get sick of the weekend....and now it never ends :s
I wish i wouldn't be tired
-
granted but now you're always awake and feeling like a zombie from lack of sleep.
I wish i had some chocolate cake
-
Granted but it melts in the heat
I wish my left knee would get sorted so I can go Scuba diving again
-
You get vaporized by the Wish Gods for wishing for the same thing twice, albeit with different word choice. The crater left behind is the only evidence you ever existed, and even that will eventually erode away.
Man, that video over in the Sex Thread is messing with me a lot more than I thought it would...
I wish I had less work to do.
-
Granted...now you haven't got a job anymore and you have all the spare time in the world....Thou no money....
I wish i was a great actrice
-
*licks up the melted chocolate*
granted and your spelling improves too.^_^
I wish i didn't have work in the morning
-
Granted your work suffers a major gas leak and it explodes and you get the blame for not switching off the gas mains before you left.
I wish the headache would go away
-
You get swine flu.
I wish I wasn't sick (with what some of my acquaintances believe is swine flu).
-
Granted You now get sectioned and put into a lunatics assylum for the rest of your natrual life.
I wish I could get rid of this Red Bull energy drink
-
Granted. Your best friend drinks it and grows a third arm.
I wish I didn't have to take exams in college.
-
Granted you now become the College caretaker
I wish I could find the extra parts I need to finish off this model I bought last year
-
granted but your glue is no good and it all falls apart anyway.
I wish people were more open in RL
-
Granted we all have no inhibitions, walk around nekkie and die of frost bite, pnuemonia and hyperthemia
I wish I could fly over and play a co-op with Razzly and her "new" PS-2 controller of course I would take one of mine.
-
*moves south where it's always warm*
granted but your plane crashes on the way home.
-
You forgot to wish for whatever it was so you don't get anything.
I wish something, but I forgot what it was.
-
And I grant your wish but I forget where I left it
I wish this sunburn would disapear by tomorrow
-
granted but it peels really disgustingly.
I wish we could do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted with no bad consequences
-
Granted but you can only do it once and your stuck with whatever happens
I wish beef jerky isn't so expensive
-
granted but it's always expired when yo find it
I wish i could have a kitten
-
Granted, but it poops and pees all over your bed, instead of in a litter box.
I wish I didn't have exams next week.
-
granted they're all tomorrow instead.
i wish i had some icecream
-
Granted but it tastes of soap
I wish I knew where that annoying tapping sound was coming from.
-
granted but now you're a monk :P
washing my mouth out with icecream? interesting..
I wish soap tasted like strawberries and cream then.
-
Granted but it does not look very appealing
I wish the neighbours would stop thier party and let me get some sleep :-\ :-\ :'(
-
granted but yo miss one hell of an orgy...
I wish i didn't live with my parents.
-
granted but you have trouble supporting yourself and struggle to stay afloat
I wish that I had a neverending soda can full of mountain dew.
-
Granted but it develops mould and is totally undrinkable
I wish for a cheese burger,fries,a fried egg,bacon lettuce,tomatos,mayo, tomato sauce and some onion rings so I can make a "Davo burger"
-
granted but emp eats it before yo take your first bite.
i wish i had lasagna for dinner tonight
-
Granted but you find Garfield asleep on top of it
I wish I could sleep
-
granted but then your nightmares are ultimately disturbing.
I wish i could think happier thoughts.
-
Granted but you for ever dream of the killer rabbit scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
I wish that all my video colection would transfer onto DVD
-
Granted but you get arrested for doing so
I wish that it was 10 degrees Fahrenheit cooler here
-
granted i opened a window and put on some clothes.
I wish dinner was done already.
-
nuuuuuuuuuooooooo
Granted but the food is undercooked and you get food poisoning
I wish I had full cable again
-
Granted but you are left only with soap operas and day time talk shows
I wish my dreams where not horriffic and disturbing
-
granted but they loop the happy bunny song from the secret spy show...
I wish the window was closed so I could get nekkid again! ;D
-
*I love that tune ;D : fluffy bunnies bouncing every where.........sorry granny but we need this channel"
Granted but you cnat close the blinds/curtains
I wish that they would put League Of Super Evil back on BBC 1 again
-
granted the window gets closed but the ac gets stuck on full blast
Granted but It isn't nearly as good as it was previously
I wish i had my D&D books on this computer
-
Granted but they take up so much memory your computer freezes up all the time
I wish I could understand how to play D&D
-
granted you spend years understanding every single rule, just to realize you have the wrong edition
I wish I could get in a good D&D game
-
Granted but you realise they are a newer version of the rules and you cant get a copy in time
I wihs I could find my warhammer 40K gear and have a all night points unlimited battle again
-
granted, but your opponent is the most irritating rules lawer ever spawned by Satan, he quotes verbatim the entire rulebook, and confuses you so thuroughly, he gets away with "beaking" rules both before and after calling you on them. You lose the game, and are turned off it forever.
-
lol i wish i coulda corrupted your wish but you didn't make one :P
-
HAHA your wish is also corrupted even before you think of one SMiles
I wish I had a strawberry cheesecake.........nah scrub that wish I had some idea what to dress you lot in for the next game of Jello Strip Twister
-
You get both wishes at the same time and dress them up in strawberry cheesecake. Wait a minute - that's awesome! So your wish doesn't get corrupted after all. Aww, man!
I wish I could go to AWA.
-
Granted, but it turns out that the AWA you go to is actually Auto-putrophiliacs With Answers (a self-help group for people turned on by their own rotting flesh), the stench is almost as bad as the creepy factor.
I wish I could think of something to do this term other than being a total hermit.
-
granted notw you start accepting worthless trinkets and hermit permits in exchange for ten leaf clovers and other things.
i wish i could have the internet with me this weekend.
-
Granted, but all you have access to is /b/ and /d/
I wish I had epic psychic powers
-
(blech why bother taking the compy with then. ::))
granted but they work backwards and now everyone can read your mind.
i wish i had a limo as my ride for the weekend.
-
granted, but the driver is an old dude who speaks English so poorly that it is virtually impossible to communicate with him.
I wish that when buying something I could reach into my pocket and always come up with exactly as much cash as I need
-
Granted but the cash is Russian Rubles which are totally worthless.
I wish I this heart burn would go away
-
Granted, but now you have crotch burn.
I wish McDonald's served more than hamburgers, chicken and fish sandwiches for lunch.
-
granted they serve other things but it's not anything you even remotely like
I wish this headache would go away
-
Granted, but when they removed the tumor, they took most of your frontal lobe with it, you've been lobotomized.
I wish I had a paying job this term
-
I;m not gonna lie I wouldn't mind a lobotomy
Granted you're now a man whore
I wish That it was earlier by a few hours
-
Granted, in fact it's a full 12 hours earlier, unfortunately you're also in 180 degrees of longitude off from where you should be.
I wish tomorrow wasn't monday.
-
granted the you relive the worst day of your live everyday
i wish my laptop wasn't missing:(
-
GRANTED!! but you find that it's been run through a wood chipper.
i wish my computer had a better video card.
-
Granted but your computer crashes on start up and wipes everything from its hard drive
I wish for good weather tommorrow while I'm out Geocaching up North
-
GRANTED!! but your attacked by a wild boar. luckily it's nice outside.
i wish that i had unlimited 91 octane gas.
-
Granted, but your engine has been converted to run exclusively on diesel
I wish my neck and head stopped aching
-
GRANTED!! but now the rest of you is aching.
i wish that it wasn't so hot outside.
-
Granted you now live in the Artic circle
I wish my boots would hurry up and dry out
-
GRANTED!! but they dry out too much and fall apart.
i wish i had a wish that i could wish.
-
Granted but it is so horrible you wish that you had never wished it in the first place
I wish for some cake
-
GRANTED!! but a girl in a jester outfit walks by and you drop the cake.
i wish my lawn was self cutting. (he he, emo lawn)
-
Granted the cuts are so short it eventually turns into barren earth
I wish for a strecthy Maytag doll
-
Granted but it tears and corn syrup gets EVERYWHERE
I wish I didn't have chips stuck in my teeth
-
GRANTED!! but now you don't have any teeth.
i wish i didn't have to go into work today.
-
Granted instead it comes to your front door
I wish I was not stuck at home because of the bad weather.
-
GRANTED!! but your home gets destroyed with you still in it.
i wish i was still asleep
-
Granted but you suffer from a major brain heamorage and never wake up again
I wish people could make my coffee the way I like it
-
GRANTED!! but you spill it on your favorite shirt, now it's stained.
i wish that my cat would stop jumping on my laptop.
-
Granted instead its you pet elephant
I wish there was something good on Tv tonight
-
GRANTED!! but your provider flakes out, and you got no tv.
i wish i didn't have to go to college today.
-
Granted, but you get framed about posessing drugs, so you get expelled and live the rest of your life uneducated and hungry on the streets.
I wish cheese snacks wouldn't have so many calories...
-
GRANTED!! but you suffer from starvation
i wish i won the lottery. then i wouldn't have to work again.
-
Granted but you get investigated for rigging the lottery and fraud
I wish I had bought the shirt that went with my combat 95 dessert issue jacket and trousers.
-
GRANTED!! but your spontaneously attacked by a grue while wearing it.
i wish i was the richiest rich to rich around the rich. 8)
-
Granted but the ragged rascel running around the ragged rocks mugs you and takes all your riches
I wish I could get rid of this funny taste in my mouth
-
GRANTED!! but now your mouth is gone.
i wish i had a cookie
-
Granted but the cookie monster from seasame street eats it before you do.
I wish I had a packet of cookies now to go with this glass of milk
-
GRANTED!! but the milk spoils while you were wishing
i wish my shoes still had tread left on them.
-
Granted but the laces snap while you are tieing them and you have no spares
I wish for a sausage,chicken and pepperoni 12" pizza
-
GRANTED!! but your ex-(wife,gf,lover....) shows up and slaps you across the face.
i wish i had more chicken i could grill
-
Granted but you get food poisioning from it since it is not cooked through
I wish people would learn to close my door after them
-
GRANTED!! but one of them doesn't realize that your right behind them, and they close the door on your face.
i wish i was exempt from eng-101
-
Granted you have to teach it instead
I wish I could of come up with a better corruption for that wish
-
GRANTED!! but it's so corrupt, that you're corrupted instead.
i wish that i had a '76 trans am ;D
-
Granted but its only a model
I wish I was uncoruptable
-
GRANTED!! you're now a gold bullion
i wish the spare battery for my laptop was charged
-
It is, but you can't find it and the normal battery is dead.
I wish for a wish.
-
Granted but you end up burried in the Sahara dessert up to your neck smeared in Strawberry Jam with ants about to eat your eye balls
I wish I could find a spare battery for my camera
-
Granted, but it comes with assault included, you now have a black eye.
I wish for the impossible
-
GRANTED!! you get a jar labeled impossible. however you drop it and cut your self on the glass
i wish i had a t3/t40e turbocharger.
-
granted but it's broken beyond repair.
i wish mum didn't want us to clean all day tomorrow.
-
GRANTED!! instead she tells you that you have to clean all next week.
i wish i had air compressor so i wouldn't have to pay to put air in my tires.
-
Granted you forget to put them in the cage while putting air in and they explode in your face
I wish I could sleep
-
granted but when you wake up the world is full of zombies adn yo can never sleep again.
I wish i had some pumpkin pie
-
Granted but its haunted pumpkin pie
I wish I could go on a Zombie killing spree
-
grnated but it hard cuz they stole all your weapons
mmm huanted pumpkin pie! ...ghost eater?lol
i wish mom did want me to do chores anymore
-
Granted you are allowed of chore duty but you must do extra shifts at work instead
I wish I knew more about this party I'm meant to be going to in November
-
GRANTED!! but you find out it's a fake, and no one shows up.
i wish that fictional places (to us) turned out to really be an actual place in a parallel universe that i could travel to.
-
Granted, but it turns out your immune system has no idea what to do with the local viruses and bacteria, ever sen war of the worlds?
I wish I had more time in a week.
-
GRANTED!! but you age at a much faster rate than anyone else.
i wish had a chipotle burrito. mmmmmm
-
Granted but you eat so many of them you grow sick of them
I wish for a snickers bar
-
GRANTED!! but it's only the fun sized (which doesn't really seem to be all that fun) and leaves you still wanting an actual sized one.
i wish i didn't need to wear glasses
-
Granted your eyes fall out
I wish the insoles of my fabric hiking boots did not stink
-
GRANTED!! instead it's your feet that stink.
i wish my clutch wasn't so weak.
-
Granted you have no clutch...........OR BRAKES!!!!!
I wish I had a large bar of Cadbury's friut and nut
-
GRANTED!! too bad that you choke on it.
i wish that i had a streetsweeper shotgun
-
Granted but its only a wooden mock up
I wish I had The Godfather back on PS2
-
GRANTED!! but just seconds before you put the game in, the mafia shows up and 'makes you and offer you can't refuse' to give them the game instead.
i wish i had a cheezeburger
-
Granted but it is entirely made up of Pickles
I wish I had some Irn Bru soda
-
granted but it's expired and flat.
I wish i didn't have work tomorrow.
-
GRANTED!! however your paycheck is really small because of it.
i wish i was invisible
-
granted but so is everyone else
I wish i could make money by sleeping.
-
GRANTED!! to bad your in a coma for the rest of your life
i wish that my eyes got a shine job, (aka riddick's night vision eyes) so i could see in the dark
-
Granted, but jupiter ignited into a twin sun, swerved into a geosyncronous orbit with the sun and thus eliminated night
I wish I really were a european-variety dragon
-
GRANTED!! but your hunted to extinction.
i wish could stop coughing.
-
You do, but only because your incessant coughing ruptured one or both of your lungs.
I wish for there to be a spoon.
-
GRANTED!! But then a guy in a black trenchcoat and sunglasses comes by steals the spoon, and tells you 'there is no spoon'
i wish that the a/c compressor in my car was electrice, instaed of belt driven
-
Granted but your car's electrical system is 12v while the A/C compressor needs a 28v system.
I wish I could have a lie in instead of being woken at 8 this morning
-
GRANTED!! but you sleep in too late and don't make it to work on time
i wish i had a sword.
-
granted but it's made of cheap foam and breaks easily.
I wish i had a magic place to get away to.
-
Granted but you have just lost the keys to the door down a sewage drain
I wish my eyes did not feel so greasy just now
-
They're not, but you have to explain to everyone why they were - and it better be interesting!
I wish I had more time for college applications.
-
GRANTED!! but now you don't have time for anything else
i wish that i didn't cut my hand, working on the car last night.
-
Granted inseated it has been crushed underneath the engine when the mounts fail
I wish this hang over would go away
-
GRANTED!! but not until after some idiot decide to test out the train horn he put on his truck, right in front of your house.
i wish i had cybernetic upgrades
-
granted but they don't work right and you have no control over them.
I wish i had the ingredients for steve right now.
-
granted but the milk curdles after mixing so you can't drink it.
i wish my neck wasn't so tense
-
granted!! but it goes limp, and you can't move your head.
i wish i didn't have to work this weekend.
-
granted you are fired from your job
i wish my life was more fun
-
Granted you are now a fun fair/fair ground ride
I wish I had more time off to spend with a friend
-
granted but now they don't have time for you
i wish my car was fixed already.
-
GRANTED!! but as your driving it an escalade runs a red light and plows through your car, the driver of the escalade then starts to accuse you of hitting them.
i wish i had a spare engine to rebuild
-
ah but i have odd as witness.:p
Granted but you can't afford the parts to fix it.
i wish i had some yummy pie
-
*Eh? what? who? where? when? I saw nothing and I deny everything Ossifer*
Granted but you develop toothache and cant not eat it
I wish It was Friday all ready
-
granted i pick up my check and you sleep through the whole day.
I wish i didn't have work so early tomorrow.
-
GRANTED!! instead you have to work really late
i wish i had a '99 nissan silvia
-
granted but the transmission is whack.
i wish i had an easy way to reach my bf at all times.
-
GRANTED!! but your bf decides to leave you for some random reason.
i wish that i had my own 1/4mi, drag strip.
-
Granted but I use it for a runway for my model planes instead
I wish my plan to destroy the Earth by stealing all the rain clouds did not work, getting too much rain here :-\
-
Epic Fail. You get beaten up by Chuck Norris for having a negative awesomeness level.
I wish the next person success corrupting this wish.
-
granted but because it was a sucess you die in a fire
i wish my job was full-time
-
GRANTED!! you now have no time for anything else.
i wish i had the winning lottery ticket.
-
granted but so does everyoen else and you only win 1.50
i wish i could stay home and play today.
-
GRANTED!! but everything you try to play with burns, melts, or explodes.
i wish i had a rebuild kit for a '94-'99 sr20de motor
-
Granted but but you dont have the engine block
I wish I could find my glasses that I lost on Saturday (long story get in touch and I might tell you)
-
GRANTED!! you find them, but the lenses are mysteriously missing.
i wish that i got to sleep earlier last night.
-
*lol should of mentioned they are frame less, the legs are attached direclty onto the lense*
Granted and you miss the delivery of the rebuild kit from your last wish and gets sent back to the parts store
I wish the heating would hurry up and turn on
-
The heating in someone else's house turns on. They get heat stroke and die. Their figurative blood is now on your hands.
I wish I was a better dancer.
-
@ oddball: D'oh!!
Granted!! but you break your legs, now your bound to a wheel chair.
i wish i could find more research for my research paper i have to write.
-
granted but you later find out you wrote a paper on the wrong subject
i wish i had a plane
-
GRANTED!! but there are no wings on it.
i wish for super mega awesomly epic bass guitar powers!
-
granted but a jelous fan breaks your hands
i wish for a cat that minds
-
GRANTED!! the cat is now sentient, and is plotting to take over the world.
i wish that i had a bag o' potato chips.
-
granted but are soon stolen
i wish i was in australia
-
GRANTED!! you are also swiftly K.O.ed by a kangaroo
i wish i had a button that could stop time, and then resume it.
-
granted but when you resume time it goes extra fast and you miss all the best moments of your life
i wish i hadn't lost my cellphone
-
GRANTED!! but you find that someone has been using it to call long distance calls.
i wish i had a battle mech.
-
Granted but it is made out of cardboard
I wish my car would stop falling apart
-
hahaha on a prepay that doesn't matter too much. my mins were low anyway^^
granted you start falling apart instead
i wish i didn't have to do laundry
-
err to late on that one Sis I'm all ready falling apart
Granted your tumble drier catches fire and all your clothes are destroyed in the resulting blaze
I wish I knew what to do with this large slab of white foam that is sitting beside me
-
granted but you feel sick from eating it mistaking it for icecream
I wish i had perfect vision.
-
GRANTED!! but it's so perfect that it blinds everyone else.
i wish there was a zombie out break.
-
Granted but you dont get involved in the killing of the zombies
I wish my contact lenses where not digging into my eyeballs
-
GRANTED!! they're diggin' into your nose now.
i wish i had today off from work. it's too nice out side to be stuck in an office.
-
granted it hails all day so you have to stay indoors anyway.
i wish my contacts list was an auto transfer to my replacement cell.
-
Granted but everyone has decided to change thier phone numbers all at the same time
I wish I had the room to store the vehicles of the Flipside 1st Armoured Divison ( a Altar and a short wheel base Series 2 Land Rover takes up a lot of room)
-
By putting them all in one place you have put yourself at great risk to have them all blown up by an ICBM.
(This happens.)
I wish for a good Halloween costume idea.
-
Granted but some one else uses it first
I wish This peanut from a snickers bar was not stuck behind my tooth
-
Granted, now it's stuck in your throat.
I wish I didn't have to eat right now.
-
granted but when yo want to eat there's no food left
I wish My grandma was all better.
-
GRANTED!! but now your sick
i wish i could find the other glove i got for my costume.
-
granted by now soemthing else integral to the costume is missing.
I wish my car was working perfectly.
-
Granted but the founding members of the Flipside Regime "accidently" crush it with the Chieftan tank and Emp blows it up with his intoned shells.
I wish staff members would stop asking me what this meeting is about today.(how the hell should I know unless I turn up)
-
granted but you miss the meeting and have to ask them what it was about.
i wish i had an awesome chauffeur that i can now afford with the money i've just sued the regime for. ;D
-
Granted but it turns out to be Emp driving one of the Flipside Regimes heavily armed former S.A.S Pink Panther Land Rovers and ends up taking a cross country route to work making you extremly late and getting you fired
I wish my hands and feet where not freezing.
-
They stop freezing after they develop gangrene and have to be amputated. There are now no careers open to you other than singing and being somebody's pillow. :P
I wish more people would come to my Halloween rave.
-
Granted but the people that come are all serial killers and give you a very painful death
I wish a meteor would come and destroy the earth
-
Granted but at the last moment it swerves into the moon instead
I wish I had a chieftan tank
-
granted but due to a manufacturing error its nothing more than an expensive lawn ornament
-
since you did not make a wish you get bad luck for the rest of your natural life and end up getting a skip full Flipside BrickstM dropped ontop of you just before you get confirmed as the world's oldest unluckiest man.
I wish I had Doomaggedon from the League OF Super Evil
-
granted but he eats you
I wish my ankle was all better
-
It is, and as you run around in celebration you trip and break your arm.
I wish for nothing to get in the way of my trip this weekend.
-
granted but the trip sucked so bad u wish u had never gone
i wish for bog roll
-
Granted but it turns out to be...............a bog rolled up.
I wish this cough would go away
-
It does when a sheet of mucus drips down from the back of your nose and blocks your trachea so you can't breathe (Yes, this is possible, I've had it happen before x0 ).
I wish I were better at calculus.
-
Now you are, but then you are harassed by N.A.S.A MENSA, and international governments asking for problems to be solved.
I wish I had ultimate admin powers over the entire internet.
-
granted but we have since moved to a new better form of info transfer
i wish for a 66 1/2 road runner with a flat black paitjob and crome wheels
-
granted but its a 1/10th scale radio controlled model version
I wish it was summer hate this low lying cloud/fog.
-
It already is summer, silly... in Australia.
I wish for my own personal secretary.
-
granted but she is completely illiterate
i wish the truck was working now that it's been towed out of the snow.
-
Granted but you loose control on a patch of ice and wreck it by crashing into a lamp post.
I wish I could go out ski-ing this year.
-
granted but you end up running into a tree and getting amnesia
I wish fixing the truck didn't cost so much:(
-
granted but now you're forced to buy a new car
I wish I had a real baby bunny
-
Granted but you mistake one of the droppings for a raisan and eat it.
I wish I did not get heart burn from eating so late at work last night.
-
granted you get diarrhea instead.
I wish i had more hours at work.
-
Granted but you end up getting locked in after closing time
I wish my feet did not hurt after walking all day
-
Granted, but now you have no feet.
I wish I had more soup.
-
Granted, but it's acidic enough to corrode your spoon to nothing.
I wish my fiancé could get home sooner
-
Granted you end up having a horrible fight and are no longer engaged
i wish i wasn't having trouble with allergies.
-
Granted, you are now dead by respiratory failiure.
I wish the lottery ticket my colleagues and I run will cash in the jackpot.
-
Granted but everyone else in Sweden places the same number and you only get a very small share of the winnings
I wish my boots where better water proofed (almost got trench foot today while out Geocaching)
-
Granted, but they dont fit you
I wish my hair would not always look like i just woke up.
-
Granted now you have mange and it all falls out
I wish I had some soda preferably Irn Bru
-
Granted but its flat
I wish i had another sandwich that didnt somehow kill me
-
Granted but while out get what you need for the afore mentioned sandwich a anvil falls on you killing you out right
I wish I had my room to myself (got my nephew sleeping on my floor and my dad on the pc)
-
(then i never got the sandwich!)
Granted but you arent allowed in your room.
I wish i had computer speakers that worked
-
(I cant get into my room anyway)
Granted but they blow out your eardrums causing internal bleeding into your brain and killing you from an anorisim
I wish I could either do another tower jump or go for a tandem parachute jump
-
granted but right as you reach the bottom of the bungee cord, you shit your pants on tv
i wish i had some food
-
Granted but you cant eat it since you contract lock jaw
I wish I could do a tandem parachut jump
-
Granted but you die in the process
I wish i didnt have lockjaw anymore
-
Granted but you contract typhis instead and can never have sex
I wish I could do a good paint job on this soul grinder model I bought last week
-
Granted but you lose it in a flood
I wish typhis stopped preventing me from having sex because i really miss it
-
granted you die of aids a day after having the worst sex you've ever had.
i wish i hadn't watched saikano
-
Granted you get your memory wiped and forget you have ever seen it then go back and see it again
I wish I could get a game of Warhammer 40K arranged this week
-
granted but you arent invited
i wish i could get a game of D&D going xD
-
Granted but on the first turn your character falls into a pit trap full of feces covered bamboo spikes dies of blood poisioning/severe blood loss and is unable to be resurected and you miss out on all the sexy goings on later in the campaign.
I wish this head ache would go away
-
Granted, but it passes onto the beautiful woman who was fated to sleep with you tonight and now she decides to stay home instead.
I wish I had something other than water to drink.
-
granted, but its poisoned urine
i wish pwncho hadnt found us :o
-
Granted, but instead I found out where you sleep
I wish my brother wasn't so bad at HoN
-
(that would still be you finding me if you think about it)
Granted, but he plays LoL and is bad at it instead
I wish my beanie hadnt shrunk and ripped in the washer
-
Granted your beanie is fine, but you shrunk and ripped in the washer instead.
I wish I could find my other sock.
-
granted but it doesnt match the first one anymore
i wish my webcam didnt suck so bad
-
Granted but your PC/laptop comes down with the BLUE SCREEN OF DOOOOOOOOOMMMmmmm, crashes andcan never be rebooted again.
I wish I had 20/20 vision instead of wearing contacts or glasses.
-
Granted but you immeadiately after go blind.
I wish my computer didnt normally blue screen all the time anyways.
-
Granted it malfunctions catches fire and burns down your house.
I wish my nephew would go away and leave me alone for a few hours.
-
Granted, but your two nieces show up and force you to play dress up.
I wish my lover did was not on call.
-
Granted your lover has the night off while you go into work instead
I wish my nephew and niece would go home all ready
-
granted, but they just go home to get their sleeping bags so they can sleep over at uncle odds house.
I wish the meteor shower was at a more convienent time
-
Granted you go outside and end up getting your head taken off by one as it comes to ground and your body is burnt to ashes leaving a pair of smoking trainers in the back garden.
I wish the little female voice in my head would stop trying to kill me.
-
granted, but now the voice is in your neighbors head, and they try to kill you.
I wish i had some clean clothes
-
Granted but as soon as you go outside a juggernaut drives through a muddy puddle covering you and ruining your nice clean clothes
I wish I was more of a cheerful person instead of a cynic
-
granted but the world still sucks, and people hate you for being overly happy.
I wish i could manage to actually get out of bed.
-
granted you get hit by a car a become unable to get out of bed for the rest of your life just after
i wish the laundry room wasn't in the basement.
-
Granted its now at the bottom of the garden BUT you have to go through a dark and creepy forest to get there
I wish I could sleep :(
-
granted it's cryogenic sleep that last 5 centuries and the world you wake up to is the second stone age.
i wish there was no such thing as credit.
-
(That actually sounds good ;D )
Granted you get some much money that it becomes valueless
I wish I could just say to some one "hello long time since we last chatted" :(
-
granted, but they are deaf and cant hear you anyways
i wish i did not have to work today
-
Granted you get both hands cut off in a meat slicing machine accident when you call into a butcher's to get some ham for you lunch
I wish my imagitnation could turm off and let me sleep
-
Granted, but you still cant spell.
I wish my friend would stop leaving me on skype with nothing to do :(
-
granted they take you to a deserted island and leave you there with nothing to do instead.
i wish i wasn't allergic to everything i eat.
-
Granted now everything is allergic to you
I wish I did not need to get my wisdom teeth pulled out next month :(
-
Granted, you get to keep your wisdom teeth, but all your others are knocked out in a horrible curling accident.
i wish i had someone to play 40k with
-
Granted but instead of using the new 5th edition rules they use a mixture of 3rd and 4th edition and use loaded dice making all the required hits,wounds and saves.
I wish the gameing club I'm a member of would restart soon
-
(^lol thats usually how it ends up being played.)
Granted, but you have to work during the meet.
I wish my brother was more cooperative.
-
granted but now your not as cooperative
I wish I had a bunny again ^_^ :-*
-
Granted but you give it a snuggle, it bites you gives you rabbies and "old Mixi" leaving you blind and foaming at the mouth with the only cure being shot by a SWAT marksman.
I wish I could find time to repair my R/C 1/10th scale model Spitfire
-
granted but choose to use the time to realize you are attracted to penguins
i wish i had an unlimted supply of this lemonade (and it was of course free from all dangerous or otherwise "nasty" additions)
-
(hmmmmmmmmmm penguins. We have a choclate bar called penguin :P )
Granded it is free of all nastiness but you are now diabetic and allergic to sweetners so can not drink any type of soda including home made lemonade. (I ALWAYS find a way to ruin wishes MMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
I wish my tendonitis in my left knee was gone so I can get on with my scuba diving and hill climbing.
-
Granted, it moves over to your right knee instead.
I wish monday night combat wasn't so laggy
-
Granted it is now cancelled
I wish food did not get stuck in my wisdom teeth
-
Granted... but now your wisdom teeth get stuck in food...eewww
I wish physics classes didnt have so many prerequisites.
-
Granted, but when you take the class, you fail.
I wish, i wish i was a fish
-
Granted but a bigger fish eats you
I wish my windows media player would play dvds with out crashing
-
Granted but your entire OS crashes instead.
I wish I had more cheese.
-
Granted but its Stinking Bishop
I wish my left eye would stop watering
-
Granted, its now so dry it hurts.
I wish Xbox news wasn't so painful to watch
-
Granted but your xbox breaks.
I wish my friend would finally get back to me.
-
Granted, but not with the response you were hoping for.
I wish I had better ginger beer
-
Granted but you cant drink it.
I wish i had your better ginger beer so i could drink it
-
Granted, but its completely flat by the time I mail it to you.
I wish I didn't have to work on thursday.
-
Granted the Doomsday clock eventualy strikes twelve and all countries that have nuclear warheads launches them turning the globe into a radioactive waste land and starts a nuclear winter due to Mutually Assured Destruction just so you can aviod work on Thursday.
I wish the wiring diagram in the Land Rover hand book matched the wiring loom colours on my Series 3.
-
Granted, but due to a nuclear doomsday you are now dead.
I wish my beanie didnt have holes in it
-
Granted now you have no beanie...........or any type of hat
I wish my laptop could keep up with my typing
-
Granted, but it gets the blue screen of death immediately after.
I wish this wish would not be granted.
-
TOUGH! granted you are now sucked kicking and screaming into a another dimension where you are instantly tried and executed for being a Daemaon.
I wish I knew what this green and black wire on the Landie hooks up to.
-
granted, but you find it hooks up to the piece you are missing.
I wish there was a later ferry to pender island on sunday.
-
Granted but it is used in the remake of The Heroes Of Telemark and sunk in a scene where a British backed commando raiding force rig it full of explosives to destroy a lorry load of Heavy Water used to make a Atomic bomb.
I wish I could get a job...........AND it must be mechanics NO electrics!!
-
Granted, you get a job as a bilge mechanic on a garbage barge... also it pays terribly.
I wish swords were not so heavy... hence would cost less on shipping.
-
TOUGH! granted you are now sucked kicking and screaming into a another dimension where you are instantly tried and executed for being a Daemaon.
I wish I knew what this green and black wire on the Landie hooks up to.
(ah but its still "granted" so i win :P)
Granted, but now they are made of such cheap metals they fall apart.
I wish classes didnt start back up tomorrow
-
Granted they started on Saturday and since you missed the first day you get a instant fail,kicked out and have to pay big student and admin fees.
I wish I could get this bit of burger meat out of my wisdom tooth
-
granted, but instead you inhale it off your tooth and it gets stuck in your lungs, requiring surgery.
I wish my internet was not being so slow.
-
Granted you now get cut off and unable to get back on for the rest of your natural life
I wish I could understand and talk Gealic
-
granted, but you learn irish gaelic, and everyone around you knows scots gaelic hence you still understand nothing.
I wish i had no class on mondays
-
Granted but all classes are twice as long every other day
I wish this class wouldn't take so long to start
-
Granted the teacher speaks at twice the normal speed and no one can understand what he is saying
I wish I could cather up the courage to talk to a friend on line
-
Granted but the result of the conversation is the opposite of what you wanted.
I wish it wasnt so late already.
-
Granted, but now its so 1:00Am so technically its early.
I wish my pie crusts did not come out rock hard.
-
Granted but now it is so soft it blows away in the wind.
I wish my webcam worked more reliably.
-
granted, it works terribly 100% of the time.
I wish Arachna would consider a peace offer and stop attacking my city.
-
Granted they now OWN your puny little city and enslaves all of its populace to do their evil bidding
I wish this important letter I'm waiting on would arrive
-
Granted but it spontaneously combusts before you can read it.
I wish i didnt have classes
-
Granted, you now get woken up at 0600h each morning by a reveille and a drill seargeant with a voice as gentle as a fog horn at 10ft to a full day of physical and theoretical drills that ends no sooner than 2100h.
I wish I could afford to upgrade my computer in one go
-
(Emp you forogt about the Drill Sarn't banging a night stick inside a metal bin as the alarm clock ;D )
Granted it is so powerfull it hacks into NORAD, the Pentagon, the Kremlin, and Whitehall sending launch codes to missile submarines and launchers starting the rise of the machines
I wish I could decide on a good name for my Imperial Guard support force for my Rogue Space Marines
-
Granted but you forget it before writing it down.
I wish I had things to do in between classes.
-
granted but you miss all your classes getting caught up with the in between stuff and fail.
I wish i wouldn't hurt anymore. :(
-
Granted but later you die due to not recognizing pain and going to get it checked out.
I wish i could sleep longer.
-
granted you sleep for a million years and miss everything
I wish i hadn't fallen down those stairs
-
Granted you now have fallen up them hitting each one on the way up
I wish I had some where to store these catalouges I'm about to deliver
-
Granted, you store them in the fireplace and then get in huge trouble when you cant deliver them.
I wish i could get my contacts earlier.
-
Granted but the fluid they are stored in leaks during transit making the lenses dry out, shrivel and close rendering them useless.
I wish I could get rid of this feeling of restlessness and actually do some thing
-
Granted, you go bungie jumping, but the cord snaps.
I wish my lunch would hurry up and cook.
-
Granted but it ends up getting burnt,catches fire burns down your house, the flames spreads to your neighbours houses and finally ends up turning into a fire storm burning down the town/city you live in.
I wish I had some Cadburys Fruit and Nut
-
granted, but the fruit is mouldy and the nuts are stale.
i wish I knew where i was having dinner
-
Granted, now you know where you are having dinner, and even with who you are having dinner.......Though fact is... you are dinner!
I wish cancer got cancer and died!
-
Granted, but all of the Cancers in the world get upset that you wished cancer upon their horoscope-al animal.
I wish i had a later eye appointment tomorrow :D
-
Granted but it still collides with another important appointment
I wish I could get another Mountian Gear Telemark and Kelly's Heroes T-shirt
-
Granted but then you lose them in a sandstorm.
I wish i didnt just have to wake up -.-
-
Granted, you can never sleep again, but are extremely tired all the time, and can barely function cognitively and definitely not sexually.
I wish my lady friend did not miss the bus.
-
Granted it hit her
I wish I could find my limited edition Mountian Equipment Everest Annivesary red and blue fleece hat
-
granted, but when you put it on your head, your very skull is infested with demonic lice which slowly and painfully eat their way to your brain stem.
i wish my brother would hurry up and play age of wonders II with me
-
Granted he ends up beating you and you end up throwing the computer out of the window
I wish I could find a more reliable job
-
granted, you reliably get paid 4$ an hour for 2 hours a day (4 hours travel time, both ways)
I wish i knew what i wanted to eat
-
Granted but its fresh Kangaroo balls
I wish I could find this missing part for a model plane
-
granted, but now you have a missing model plane.
i wish i knew where my sisters pound cake pan is.
-
Granted you remember you hit your brother over the head with it after getting beat on Age Of Wonders II and throwing your computer out of the window.
I wish I had more chocolate milk shake
-
granted, but its 99% coco and near impossible to drink.
I wish i didnt have an 8:30 class
-
Granted you now have a 6:30 class.
I wish i had more time at dragon con :/
-
granted, but after your extra 6 hours, you are fed to the dragon in the basement that the con gets its name from.
i wish I didnt get this homework before my classes even start.
-
Granted now you get another type of home work thats a thousand times harder and includes quadratic equations!!
I wish I did not have to go back out and work in the rain agian tonight
-
Granted but you have to work in a pit of snakes right now
I wish my homework was done
-
Granted, your homework is all finished, but upon handing it it you do so badly on it you are thrown out of the class with no reimbursement and a permenant F on your GPA.
I wish waking up was easier.
-
Granted you now have insomia and can never sleep
I wish I could just turn up to a job interview wearing my Combat 95 trousers and still get the job (got one tommorrow)
-
Granted but you are fired for molesting children.
I wish contacts were slightly more comfortable
-
Granted, but it turns out you go blind from the comfort and no longer need contacts.
I wish my classes will give me no homework tomorrow.
-
Granted, but they give you 400 question take home tests that take months to finish.
I wish it was easier to keep track of when homework was due.
-
Granted you are now home taught and your mum is the teacher
I wish I could figure out a good colour scheme for my Chaos W40K models
-
Granted, but no-one else seems to like your watermelon themed space marines.
I wish my friends had breaks at the same time that i do.
-
Granted but they still dont want to spend time with you and eventually you are disowned by them
I wish I knew what to get for my mum's 60th birthday :(
-
Granted but when you purchase it, a dildo is mailed instead.
I wish i had more weed
-
Granted, your front lawn is now covered in gorse, and you are instructed to pull it all out... gloveless
I wish I didnt have all 5 of my classes in one day
-
Granted, you now have 50 classes in one day.
I wish my eye appointment would be later
-
Granted, it is postponed so far that you go blind from an easily detectable problem that went undiagnosed.
I wish Kids in the hall made more sense.
-
Granted but now you dont
I wish I could find a more reliable supplier of Humbrol enamel paint around here.
-
Granted, but you have to buy it in bulk loads of 200litres or more...
I wish my headache would let up...
-
Granted now you have tooth ache
I wish people would remember to leave the catalouges out so I can collect them with out knocking on the doors
-
Granted, but they leave them out days early, in the rain, and they are soggy and mouldy beyond belief.
I wish Skull physiology had easier terminology to remember.
-
Granted but now all your other subjects have even harder terminology that makes no sense E.G the Ubergeshaft Sprocket is connected to the thingymijigger wirrly valve
I wish things had gone as planned this afternoon so I could have the day off tommorrow so I could go to R.A.F Leuchars and watch the aircraft fly in.
-
Granted, you go and watch the aircraft fly in...to where you are sitting, inducing a gigantic fireball of jet fuel.
I wish the internet was not so distracting
-
Granted its gets turned off never to get turned back on
I wish the effing terrier outside would shut up!!
-
Granted, but a much larger and louder great dane starts up, enticing the 3 beagles and 2 collies on your block to start up as well.
I wish i could remember how to spell sphenoid sinus.
-
Granted now thats the ONLY word you know
I wish I could stop sticking my tongue into this deformed wisdom tooth thats due to be pulled
-
granted, you distract yourself by seeing how far you can stick your tongue down your throat... which apparently is too far.
I wish i could actually focus and read this chapter
-
Granted but you get so engrossed into the book you dont hear the nuclear attack warning and miss the chance to get into a shelter.
I wish I could get off my arse and get these orders filled out
-
Granted, but you fill them out wrong and they all get returned in the mail tomorrow, and you have to get off your arse again to repeat the process.
I wish I didnt need new shoes
-
Granted you now go around bare foot, cut your feet to shreds, in turn they develop gangreene and have to be cut off above the knee
I wish I was not so cruel to you forumites in granting your wishes
-
Granted... now you are just lame.
I wish the human skull was just two bones, top and bottom.
-
Granted now the human race has no mandibles so no power of speech and can only grunt and point at things and can only take fluids by IV drip.............basicly we are neanderthols.
I wish for the weather for this weekend to be good for this airshow I'm going to
-
granted, but the airshow is canceled because the sun is too bright.
I wish my new shoes will be awesome
-
Granted but they only come in two sizes too small for you
I wish I had not drunk so much coffee over the past week :'( :'(
-
granted, instead you drank that much anti-freeze.
I wish the chilli i make tonight will be good.
-
Granted but you end up sitting on the toilet for a month
I wish I could just reach through the letter boxes and strangle the folk that dont leave out the catalouges for me to pick up
-
granted, but one of them shuts their letterbox on your hands, severing them into useless stumps.
I wish my work today will be quiet and slow.
-
Granted but you are held up at gun point and held hostage for 16 hours until the gunman shoots your boss and the local SWAT members storm the building killing every one in sight.
I wish I could reach this itch right in the middle of my back
-
granted, you can reach it, but no amount of scratching will relieve it, it slowly drives you insane with itching.
I wish i could comply with my lover's wishes
-
Granted but she wants you to be hogtied,gagged,blindfolded and have a 12" butt plug shoved up your arse.
I wish my delayed hang over would hurry up and start so I can suffer quietly in bed.
-
Granted, you slip quietly into your bed, which has been infested with thousands of bedbugs and you are sucked dry throughout the night.
I wish I remembered to take my phone off of silent when i left school.
-
Granted but you are constantly called for to report to the office over the P/A at school.
I wish there was something good on telly
-
Granted, but your set breaks just as the show gets to the best part.
I wish I could be interested in my syntax class.
-
Granted but you become hooked to syntax
I wish I never had the left overs from last nights chicken dinner :(
-
granted, but instead they sit in your fridge for so long that they cause your fridge to malfunction due to too much mould, resulting in you having to put down for a brand new fridge.
I wish I could actually be bothered to do the reading for my classes.
-
Granted but now you become an expert on the thoery aspects but incompetent on the practical side.
I wish I had some strawberry cheesecake ice-cream
-
Granted, but it is also mouldy via the chicken dinner leftovers.
I wish I knew what my lover wants.
-
Granted, but its a different lover.
I wish this marijuana was better.
-
granted, its so good you pass into a catatonic state for the next 3 years.
I wish i knew what to wish for
-
Granted but it turns out not to be want you really wanted
I wish I could stop biting my finger nails
-
Granted. But now you have the inexplicable urge to bite your toenails instead.
I wish my cell phone's battery didn't need to be recharged so often.
-
Granted, you never have to charge it again... because the battery is dead.
I wish the weather wasn't so crappy today
-
granted, its so good you pass into a catatonic state for the next 3 years.
I wish i knew what to wish for
that sounds amazing
Granted, but its worse for the next 2 years.
I wish my friend would pick up on skype.
-
granted, but your webcam/mic crap out as soon as they install it.
I wish all would go well tonight
-
Granted but tonight is the only time things going well for you
I wish I could vent my anger instead of botteling it up
-
Granted but you beat up the president's daughter and are sent to jail for life without chance of parole.
I wish school would feel like its going by quickly today.
-
*now that does sounds like fun depending on which president it is, Prime Minister would be better for where I am*
Granted but you age twice as fast now
I wish this weather would improve
-
granted, the weather becomes perfect, just in time for the thermonuclear attack that sinks the entire UK
I wish I had some ice cream
-
Granted but its imported from the UK and is radioactive from the nuclear fallout
Now I wish I had bought ice cream while I was out.
-
granted, but when you got home your freezer was not cold enough to keep it frozen.
I wish I could be selfish sometimes.
-
Granted but no one wants to talk to you now
I wish this agency would phone back with some shift work for me
-
granted, you have one shift coming up on christmas eve from 8pm til 8am... no overtime or stat pay though because its your first shift and still on training hours.
I wish I had no class on mondays instead of having to go all the way to uvic for a single class
-
*Meh no change there then*
Granted they are all on sunday instead
I wish I had some chicken strips to go onto this pizza
-
granted, 6 uncooked, still feathered, brutally butched and bloody strips of chicken.
I wish i knew what was going on
-
Granted but now you wish that you never knew in the first place
I wish I had some minions to do my bidding............need to get these catalouges sorted out.
-
granted, but once the task is done the minions turn on you and eat you alive... because thats what minions do.
I wish i never knew in the first place
-
Granted you have no knowledge of any thing at all
I wish I could cut down my caffine intake
-
granted, you cut it back to 0 caffeine a day... but then proceed to become narcoleptic and fall asleep at random, while working, while running, while driving... needles to say, it turns out badly.
I wish i had some socks
-
Granted but they are full of holes and smell BAD
I wish these annoying adverts on tv would disapear and be a bit more like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho7gIb91Jc0
-
(that was pretty amazing, never seen that before.)
Granted, but all the commercials are for feminine hygiene, and herpes medicine commercials, screamed at full volume with loud music... and they are incredibly awkward at all times.
I wish joose was loose in my hoose
-
Hoots mon granted but you get stabbed to death by the animated bag pipes chanter
I wish I had that animated Stag's head
-
granted, but it makes a racket continuously and keeps you awake indefinitely.
I wish had something tasty to eat.
-
Granted but its full of slow release poisions
I wish the new season of NCIS would hurry up and be screened on channel 5 overhere
-
granted, but it is screened only when you are working... and all your recording equipment goes bunk as soon as you try.
I wish i could go skiing
-
Granted but instead of going on the slopes you go out freeheeling/Telemarking with me ;D
I wish I could go out skiing now
-
Granted, but you get the opposite, and are forced down a downhill double black diamond run with your telemark skis
-
*Easy mon do the one thing down hillers cant, christie turns ;D *
Since you forgot to make a wish you end up cursed for 21 years
I wish I had a machine that went *ping*
-
granted, it pings so loudly your eardrums burst and can no longer hear the ping.
I wish i was not cursed
-
Granted now you are jinxed
I wish Monty Pythons meaning of life was better
-
Granted, its still the same movie, but you can actually find it good now.
I wish I had more lemonade
-
Granted, but its poisoned.
I wish my step brothers second class would be canceled for once today.
-
granted, but a lab takes its place.
I wish my class wasn't so early in the morning.
-
Granted they are now held at 23:59 hours :P
I wish I had not eaten that second bit of fish
-
Granted but you eat something just as bad and sickening.
I wish i mids werent so terrible.
-
granted, but your ability to type is still terrible :P
I wish she would let me know what is going on
-
Granted but it only makes you feel worse.
I wish my computer wasn't locked into startup blue screens
-
Granted, it wont even turn on now.
I wish i could be bothered to do my assignment.
-
Granted but you still earn a failing grade
I wish film makers would leave the old classics alone and stop doing remakes (E.G The Italian Job and The Dam Busters)
-
Granted, but instead they focus on making all future movies terrible and unwatchable.
I wish cranial nerves had simpler names.
-
Granted but the rest of the body is unpronounceable
I wish I had all the troops on my WH40K wish list
-
(it already is :P)
Granted but all you got was the troop choices, you still have to buy all the HQ, elites, fast attack, and heavy support.
I wish my friend would have stayed for a burger.
-
Granted but you end up giving them food poisioning by using a tainted blade
I wish I could own a WMIK Land Rover Defender with all the proper army surplas gear.
-
granted, you gain ownership rights to a land rover currently in the states... and the plane that it is shipped over on drops the crate into the middle of the atlantic during flight. you now own a landrover at the bottom of the atlantic.
I wish the TA would stop staring me down when i fall asleap in syntax class... especially because he did too.
-
Granted you now get my old lecturer who throws ANYTHING that comes to hand at you if you fall asleep during any of his lessons
I wish I did not have the dentist tommorrow
-
Granted, instead you have an appendectomy.
I wish Czech was not so damn confusing.
-
Granted but now you cant understand American English
I wish the left side of my face was not so sore from the dental work from this morning
-
granted, the left side of your face is now permenetly frozen and you look like a cross between frankenstein and Joan Rivers.
I wish I didnt have to restart my computer for updates.
-
Granted but its last update causes the "Millenium Bug" to be released and infects all microproccesors menaing we go back into the dark ages.
I wish I could laugh at the jokes on telly with out hurting my self due to my jaw still being numb
-
granted, but nothing on Tv is funny until your jaw is back to normal.
-
Since you did not make a wish you are here by sentenced to spend the night at a ABBA concert!!!
I wish I could eat this bacon and egg roll
-
(man i am bad at that... though i do like abba... so it all turned out ok in the end)
Granted, but you are spontaneously alergic to eggs and spend the next 4 days trying to keep yourself from vomiting up your intestines.
I wish i could remember to make wishes.
-
Granted but they all turn out to be burried neck deep in sand covered in strawberry jam so it attracts red ants
I wish These fecking wolf/house spiders would keep away from my house >:(
-
Granted, the wolf spiders vacate the premises due to your house being infested by scorpions.
I wish November would be here already
-
Granted but it's the year 2110 and you are dead.
I wish my computer wasn't broken.
-
Granted it is now turned into a Wolf pattern Titan and destroys the globe (See attached photo)
(http://i600.photobucket.com/albums/tt83/Oddballsco/Wolfalt2.jpg)
I wish my lower gum did not feel like it was on fire
-
Granted but because my computer blew up the world, you are dead.
I wish it was tomorrow
-
granted, but you are stuck in today, and are forever trapped in a time loop.
I wish that my friend will remember to make soup tomorrow.
-
Granted but it "light house" soup , blinking near water and tastes of dish water.
I wish I had the house to myself for a bit longer
-
Granted but it burns down around you.
I wish your last corrupt a wish made sense
-
(Easy I'm home alone and the soup is so weak it is almost water and tastes of water used to wash dishes)
Granted but you loose your mind after I've told you and become a drooling shell of a human being and end up thrown into a lunatic assylum.
I wish People would just slow down and take the time to read what I have written so they can understand it.
-
granted, but once they understand what you write, they no longer want to talk to you.
I wish it was still summer.
-
Granted you go out in the sun get sun burnt and end up with skin cancer
I wish I had a kangaroo
-
granted, but it hops away when you need it most, just like my kangaroo did.
I wish my friend would join me for poker on a school night.
-
Granted but he/she ends up wiping you out and you end up killing him/her with a broken bottle when you acuse him/her of cheating.
I wish I was fit enough to go on Total Wipe Out
-
granted, but you are eliminated on the first round when you brutally shatter your femur within 5 seconds of the game starting.
I wish i had some good cards for magic tricks.
-
Granted but you are banned for life when it turns out you drew them yourselve and coloured them in with felt tip pens
I wish I had a chinchilla
-
granted, but it is the most vocal chinchilla in the world and continuously squeaks until you are driven insane from lack of sleep.
I wish I had a dog
-
granted but it gets a virus and ends up liking the taste of human flesh and has eaten your leg off before you notice.
I wish i could do fun things without hurting.
-
granted, you have leprosy and no longer feel pain in your extremities... which then fall off as you dont notice the damage you are dealing to theml.
I wish I could have got home earlier.
-
Granted but you find your family has moved out sold the house and has not left you with a forwarding address
I wish I could remember what it was I meant to do today
-
granted, it was to disarm the explosives in your basement, but by the time you remember your house has already been turned into a crater.
I wish she wasn't sick.
-
Granted now you have the plague instead
I wish I had more youghurt
-
Granted, you have so much yohgurt that it spills out of your fridge and coats your kitchen, soon it goes bad from being so warm and you have to leave your house due to the toxic fumes.
I wish someone would play soul calibur with me.
-
Granted but its me and I arm my character with Terminator armour,whirlwind missile launcher and a assault cannon
I wish I had more room to disply my Corgi model aircraft
-
Granted, but you have to pay obscene rent on the 10,000 square feet that you obtained to display it.
I wish Soul calibur 5 would come out already
-
Granted but each time you go and try to play it it crashes your game consule/pc
I wish I could go to sleep
-
granted, but you are woken up 30 seconds later by your noisy chinchilla.
i wish the creeps in this tower defense moved faster.
-
granted but they go so fast they all get by the defenses and you lose.
i wish i could multitask better
-
Granted but you end up losing count of what you are doing and cause a very large train wreck involving the remaining stocks of 1970's era Napalm C, Agent Orange herbicide and Snake Eye Cluster Bomb Units.
I wish I could get my Rogue Imperial Guard Regiment build
-
Granted, but as soon as you enter a game, the troop goes rogue and retreats off the table.
I wish I had set up my interview for a little later.
-
Granted it is now set for 9pm UK time
I wish I was not such a geek when it comes to aircraft and WWII history (its a bit annoying at times see my rage post)
-
Granted, instead you are the fool who posts quiz questions with obviously wrong answers, and the aviation community makes terrible fun of you before banishing you for life.
I wish I had some linguist friends outside of school.
-
Granted but they speak in a language you can not understand and they speak no english
I wish I had more Neame's Spitfire Ale
-
granted, but it causes you to spit fire, searing your vocal tract, causing you immense pain with internal 3rd degree burns.
I wish i had more cheese
-
Granted but you have to go and make it yourself
I wish I could get a start date for this job I applied for
-
granted, the start date is september 15th... and you have already missed 3 shifts, and are subsequently fired from a job you never worked.
I wish my feet were not so cold.
-
Granted now they are on fire
I wish I had the house to myself again..........it was abit quieter then
-
granted, there is nothing in the house but you, no furniture, no electronics, no toys, no warhammer, no walls, no gravity, no light... actually its alot more like purgatory than a house now.
I wish I knew which way to go on this morphology assignment.
-
Granted but half way through you decide to give in and play Soul Caliber
I wish I had my old .177 calibre air rifle back
-
(and such is the tale of my life :P)
Granted, but while shooting it recklessly in your house you accidentially shoot your chinchilla in the face, who gets enraged and bites all your fingers off.
I wish I had some ice cream
-
Granted but its from the same batch of radiated ice cream from your previous ice cream wish (ok easy cop out there)
I wish it was summer (we only get three seasons here Spring,Autumn and winter with a two week break of sunshine that we call Summer)
-
granted, it is wonderfully sunny and warm for 5 months of the year, but the environment is not used to the new climate and all the native plants die off within 2 months due to drought and heat, and the wildlife subsequently succumbs to starvation and the wildfires that are sweeping across the moors. all farmland becomes barren and all of Scotland has become a wasteland... but at least its nice out.
I wish the sun would stop shining in my eyes.
-
Granted the sun is so strong it boils your eye balls making you blind, then you stumble into Smile's train wreck.
I wish I could come up with some new ideas for granting wishes
-
Granted but they are awful.
I wish this girl lived closer.
-
granted, now she lives in your house... and is your sister.
I wish my laptop was not running out of batteries.
-
granted you hook it up to a generator powered by a bicycle but have to power it
I wish the rest of my wisdom tooth had been taken out :(
-
granted, and just to be on the safe side, the dentist took the rest of your teeth too... i hope you like eating through a straw.
I wish my class would start already, so i could finish and go home.
-
Granted it has all ready started and you have missed a very important part that you will be tested on tommorrow
I wish I could learn to let go of this pent up rage and not to take things so seriously
-
granted, you learn to live a super relaxed life, not taking anything so seriously... unfortunately the next time you hear a fire alarm, you don't take it seriously and die a fiery death.
I wish there were some more people to grant wishes besides me, Odd, and Zearth.
-
Granted but they are not as cruel as I am
I wish people would learn history and military law properly before making dumb arse comments.
-
granted, people constantly make dumb comments about scotland instead, and noone wants to talk about military law/history because everyone already knows everything about it.
I wish my brother would wake up earlier so i could practice my pipes.
-
Granted but your chanter is broken and it will take 6 months until a replacement is delivered
I wish this horrible taste in my mouth would disapear
-
granted, your sense of taste dissapears, and you can no longer tell that your cheeks are profusely bleeding, and eventually you die from the blood loss.
I wish my lover will be free tonight.
-
Granted but you are tied up instead
I wish for food
-
granted, you recieve a large package of cat food at your door.
I wish for time
-
Granted UPS delivers a grandfather clock instead of your new chanter
I wish I could figiure out why the starter motor on my Land Rover is not working
-
granted, its because the entire internal mechanism of the motor has been pilfered without your knowledge... new parts will run you into the thousands of pounds.
I wish i could take the 1:00 ferry instead of the 11:00 tomorrow.
-
Granted but you get on the 1AM ferry instead
I wish I could record off my free sat reciever
-
granted, but you can only record a channel that is in gaelic, hence is unintelligible.
I wish i didnt have to go to vancouver today
-
Granted you now go to Anchorage Alaska
I wish my gum was not inflammed where my wisdom tooth was
-
granted, its now in flames instead.
I wish i was home already.
-
Granted but as you turn the corner onto your street your house explodes due to a gas leak
I wish people would ask me if I want a brew if they are going to make one
-
granted, but its a brew of rat poison and anthrax.
I wish my piano was bigger.
-
Granted but its impossible to tune
I wish the dumb fuck who let off the shits who vandalised the club hut would curl up and die
-
granted, but you are framed for their deaths.
I wish I knew what to play.
-
Granted you play chopsticks on your out of tune piano
I wish for a cooked breakfast in the morning with a slice of fruit pudding.
-
granted, cooked watery gruel with a slice of sour crabapple pudding.
I wish for porridge.
-
Granted but its served the English way...............................WITH JAM!!!!
I wish I could find the right parts to fix my "Green Bomber" in the local scrap yard.
-
(jam dosn't sound that bad.)
Granted, you fix your green bomber so well that it becomes autonomous and bombs your house.
I wish I will be able to get in more time at the clinic.
-
(The "Green Bomber" is my car)
granted but is the electro shock clinc
I wish I had more steak and pie
-
(regardless, it grows wings and bombs your house anyways.)
granted, but its a wooden stake and a cow pie.
I wish i had more water.
-
Granted you get a Tsunami even though you are 50 miles in land
I wish the internet would stop eating my words....my last wish was meant to say " steak and ale pie"
-
granted, the internet eats your soul instead
I wish the borderlands DLC didn't come out the day before my exam...
-
granted it comes out during your exam and sells out everywhere never to be restocked after it finishes
I wish I had some more coffee
-
granted, but it is the blandest coffee and its searing hot.
I wish that i wont fall asleep in my class today.
-
Granted you never fall asleep again
I wish these annoying Go Compare adverts would stop
-
granted, but instead there are ads for herpes medication that are twice as annoying.
I wish for this soup to be good
-
Granted but its so hot it burns your taste buds off
I wish other forumites would join in our sadistic game
-
Granted, but they are too afraid of our manaical genious and wishing powers that they leave the forum entirely
I wish for the borderlands patch to be out today
-
Granted but its uncompatable with your operating system
I wish it would stop raining so I can get the Workshop Of Dooooooommmmm cleared out and Pozf's sacrafical alter delivered.
-
granted, but during the delivery the truck careens off the road and the altar is lost forever, angering the almighty.
I wish that i will get a good mark on the exam i just wrote.
-
Granted you get your highest mark of the year causing the school board to call for an enquiry to see if you had cheated during the exam in the mean time stripping you of your grade that meant you could of graduated with honours.
I wish the new season of NCIS was on
-
granted, but they have replaced all the actors with the cast of sex and the city, jethro is now portrayed by Sarah Jessica Parker... and you are forced to watch every episode.
I wish my friend would get back to me
-
(now that was nasty there was no need for that!! lol)
Granted but it is only to tell you he/she is out side the door with a fire axe and will but your mutilated corpse through a chipping machine.
I wish friends would stop being repeated on tv.
-
granted, its NCIS sex and the city edition over and over again.
I wish the prof would get here already.
-
Granted but he teaches home economics Lesson One: how to make a snake draft excluder for your door with a sowing machine, Lesson Two: how to make the perfect boiled egg
I wish I had a cabin up in the mountians so could have some alone time
-
granted, but its so high up in the mountains that you pass out from oxygen deprivation and eventually starve because no-one is there with you to wake you up.
I wish gaelic resources were more accessible.
-
Granted but you have to come over here to get them.
I wish for a International half track with a quad .50 calibre mounting.
-
granted, but its model sized.
I wish that gaelic had some easily distinguishable morphological processes.
-
Granted but it still makes no sense
I wish I could remember my high school german
-
granted, but the german language has undergone a complete phonological and syntactical overhaul since you learned it, hence it is useless to you.
I wish i knew what was going on tonight.
-
Granted you are to strip old ships rope for 12 hours with out a break so you better get started
I wish I knew what was happening with this repossesion order for my old flat
-
granted, upon closer inspection its actually a repo order for everything you own, and it goes into effect tomorrow.
I wish my phone was charged
-
Granted but it has a Li-Po battery in it and will catch fire with out warning
I wish i had bigger and better book shelves
-
granted, they are so big and amazing they take up all your space and you have to rent a seperate apartment to live in.
I wish the bus would get here.
-
Granted but it then breaks down and catches fire at your bus stop meaning you have to either wait 3 hours for a replacement or walk the 30 miles home.
I wish I had got a cheese burger for lunch
-
granted, but it turns out it was just cheese on a hamburger bun that costs you 10 pounds.
I wish I had more pizza for lunch.
-
Granted but its just the uncooked base with a smearing of tomato sauce
I wish this Monday would just go by un-noticed and quietly.....and dont ask why.
-
granted, it goes by so quietly that noone knows it happened and tuesday becomes the new monday, and the whole world is thrown into chaos due to the dates being messed up.
I wish that the laptop i was looking at dosnt go up in price in october.
-
(I can live with that ;D )
Granted it gets recalled due to a electrical fault
I wish I had a mega bar of Cadbury's fruit and nut.
-
granted, but it is so mega that you cant possibly finish it, but feel compelled to do so anyway... you bloated corpse will be found in three days with half of a mega bar still in your mouth.
I wish that my sister would cave and use gmail
-
Granted she hates your guts so much now she uses your IP address/email addy to send virus's and other harmful stuff across the web that you now show up on IP/email checkers that we mods use to check out newbies and you get banned from the net for life.
I wish this weather would make up its mind so I can either go out hill walking/geocaching/mountain biking
-
granted, it makes up its mind to be sunny and warm, but then it changes its mind when you are half way up the hill and you are struck by lightning and pelted with hail.
I wish my sister was not such a technosavage
-
Granted she is now a Techno Geek and puts your skills to shame and shows you up on a daily basis in front of your friends
I wish I could understand where this sadistic streak comes from when I grant wishes in here
-
granted, but you find out that it is a homunculus living inside your liver. who, when you discover its existence tears out from your abdomen in a spectacularly bloody fashion.
I wish i didnt have an urge to play HoN
-
Granted now you want to play mine sweeper on windows and there is only one free square to find out of 1000000000000000000 mines
I wish I was not addicted to mine sweeper
-
granted, you are twice as addicted to spider solitare
I wish i didnt keep disconnecting from monday night combat
-
Granted it is discontinued and Desprate Housewives is shown instead
I wish my laptop would perform better
-
granted, it preforms so well that an elaborate heist is acted out by cyber criminals that want it to cause mayhem on a global scale. so 3 dobermans and a doorbell later your laptop is stolen and used to release the worst virus ever seen onto the internet, which is then traced back to you and you are hung for high treason against the kingdom of the internets.
I wish you knew what monday night combat is :P
-
Granted I find out what it is and in a revenge attack on you for ruining NCIS I put on a Despreate Housewives/Friends cross over
I wish I could get a flight in a Spitfire Tr9
-
granted, but time traveling 109s shoot you down over the channel.
I wish my friend had some spare time for a walk tonight.
-
Granted but you get shoved over a cliff in a elaborate insurance scam
I wish I did not have to go out in the rain again this afternoon
-
Granted, its now hailing baseball sized chunks.
I wish i had more time between school and work today.
-
Granted you get kicked out of school for cheating and tonight is your last night at work before getting laid off
I wish those meat balls I had for dinner would stop repeating on me
-
granted, instead they just become sentient and force you to do their bidding lest they destroy your intestines, you become a meatball vigilante and are eventually shot down after raiding an italian restaurant and trying to release the meatballs in their kitchen.
I wish that my class wont be review again.
-
Granted the class is abolished after a very poor report after the last review
I wish my nose would stop being itchy
-
granted, it is no longer itchy but instead your sinuses are itchy and you have no way to scratch them.
I wish for darkstar one
-
Granted but Darkstar two comes along and blows it up with a mega sonic boom blaster
I wish I had a small video camera to mount in this R/C model Bulldog I bought last week
-
granted, but its so small it can only take 4.5 second video with a resolution of 6x8
I wish that everything in my day will fit easily
-
Granted you get easily fitted into a shipping container to the South Pole............oh and you have no artic/antartic survival gear just a pair of Bermuda shorts and short sleeved shirt.
I wish this wisdom tooth would get pulled soon
-
granted, the dentist pulls and pulls, causing you extreme pain but he cant seem to actually get it out, and the entire side of your jaw has to be removed instead.
i wish for spicy thai soup!
-
Granted but its so spicy you cut out your tongue
I wish this hang over would disapear soon
-
Granted, but you catch the flu immediately after.... oohhh wait, Swine flu!
I wish customers would stop coming into my store immediatly before close.
-
Granted they now stop coming in at all meaning the store closing down all the staff getting laid off and you are now totally unemployable due to your loathing towards customers and managment. (wait I just described myself)
I wish people would answer the door when I ring the door bell or knock on the door.
-
granted, but upon realizing its you, they promptly close the door in your face.
I wish i knew why noone else posts in this thread.
-
Granted its because you scare them due to being a cute cuddly bunny rabit........................with huge fangs and can rip a persons head off by going "NEE".
I wish we could all meet up and re-make Monty Python and the holy grail.
-
granted, but its a terrible americanized version that could never be the as good as the original.
I wish my assignments were not so obscure.
-
Granted they are now obtuse
I wish I knew what had happened to my missing catalogues
-
granted, you find them rotting in your basement with mould growing on them which has spread to the rest of your house, costing you tens of thousands of dollars in mould removal.
I wish i knew my assignment was so easy before so i didnt spend so much time worrying.
-
Granted all you had to do was type out one word to get a passing grade but you get so worried about which word to type you develop a nervus break down.
I wish I had a more reliable fuel guage in the "Green Bomber".
-
granted, but it takes processed deuterium as a fuel.
I wish i could find a topic for my syntax assignment
-
Granted but it has nothing to do with syntax
I wish for world peace (ok had nothing else to wish for lol)
-
(that was the problem with my first topic :P)
Granted, a nuclear apocolypse occurs and the entire human race is wiped out, leaving nothing living on the planet... hence world peace.
I wish i had remembered more for my exam.
-
Granted but all you can now remember is the inner workings of a Rolls Royce Avon Engine and its fuel monitering system
I wish for Sirlion steak for dinner tonight
-
Granted, 100% pure sirloin puppy steak, marbled like a dream.
I wish the soup special will be something good in the SUB today.
-
Granted it's boiled monkey brains
I wish OS four stroke engines where a bit cheaper
-
granted, they are now .12 cents cheaper(or whatever that is in scotland dollars :P)
I wish my assignment was due next tuesday instead of tomorrow
-
Granted but it is now next weekand and the assignment is still due tommorrow
I wish I had the skills to make a mini cam into a pilot figure to go into this model plane.
-
granted, and it only cost you 14,000 dollars
I wish my professor will shave his beard into a handlebar moustache.
-
Granted he also puts tar in it to keep it in place but the ends are so sharp when he turns his heads he takes your eyes out.
I wish I knew where these photographs disapered to
-
granted, they are in the twilight zone.
I wish dinner was ready.
-
Granted but its bread and water
I wish I could afford a new nicad battery pack and a O.S 2stroke engine
-
granted, you have just have to sell your car to get them.
I wish class will be interesting today
-
Granted its a autospy using you as the subject
I wish dinner would hurry up and cook
-
granted, but it also hurries up and burns.
I wish for some lucky charms
-
Granted but they are defective and bring you 50 years back luck
I wish I could sleep
-
Granted, but you're now in a coma and will never wake up.
I wish I didn't suck at my favorite video games.
-
Granted but now they are not your favorite games
I wish this dizziness would go away
-
Instead your bestestest friend goes away and never comes back. Well, okay, maybe after a while. But by then you've most likely grown distant from each other and can't connect the way you used to. Tragic.
I wish blue.
-
Granted but its a siclkly pale blue and you get bored of it quickly
I wish my parents where more computer literate so I dont lose my temper trying to sort thier mess out
-
granted, but they ask for your help with excruciatingly complex problems that are actually very simple for them just to laugh at their son's failure.
I wish the new corrupters will stay
-
Granted but you have now caused the human race to leave Earth for a never ending journey into deepest space
I wish for a long lie in bed tomorrow
-
granted, you wake up with a fractured spine, and get to lie in bed for the rest of your life.
I wish my friend will be up for Japanese food tonight.
-
granted, but all the sushi shops are closed.
I wish I was an oscar meyer weiner
-
granted, but you find out what you are actually made of and proceedingly hang yourself.
I wish my assignment was online.
-
Granted but you are unable to get onto the internet anywhere
I wish my job interview goes well tommorrow
-
granted, but the company goes belly up and cant hire you.
I wish i knew what to do for her birthday
-
Granted but its doing a tandem parachute jump and you are scared of flying
I wish I could get a decent cheese burger for lunch around here with out going to the local "Golden Arches"
-
granted, but its just a McDonalds cheese burger sold at a convenience store for 1$ more
i wish i knew which locker was hers
-
Granted but she has boby trapped it set to go off if any one tries to break in
I wish This cold would go away
-
Granted, your cold is gone and you feel great. so great in fact that you decide to go out for a walk around the town where you run into an old highschool friend who you instantanously fall in love with. three weeks later you get married in edinbourough cathedral in a gigantic wedding with all your friends and family. one year later you have your first child, a small blue eyed boy who you name Jonathan, and affectionately call Johnsie. After Johnsie is six months old, you and your wife move up to the quaint town of killin and settle down in a beautiful house with a great back yard, so great in fact that you decide to get a dog once John is 2.
After some very slight disagreements(the closest thing that you and your wonderful wife have ever had to a fight) you decide on a 2 month old skye terrier named angus, who just happens to be the cutest darn puppy you have ever seen. Angus and John get along amazingly well as they run through the fields of heather by your house. While you sit on your back balcony with your beautiful bride watching your son and dog frolic in the fields, you see that familiar glint in her eye. 2 hours of passionate love making later you wife is pregnant again and 9 months later she gives birth to a beautiful little girl whom you name 'Brawnwynn' from the old Gaelic.
Years later, after retiring from your lucrative career as the mayor of killin, after your two kids are graduated from college and have gone on to become a doctor(john) and a computer software CEO(Brawnwynn) you find out that Angus, who by now is quite an old dog, is on his last legs. You and your wife buy a cottage on the isle of skye and live there for 2 months with Angus as you stay with him during the last few days of his life. on the crest of autumn, you wake to find Angus peacefully resting on his favourite bed on the front porch, never to wake again. You invite your children up to the cottage and hold a funeral for Angus, you have an entire garden of heather (the kind he used to run through so joyfully with your children) planted and his grave adorned with flowers of all kinds behind the cottage, overlooking the great ocean. you had lost one of the best friends you have ever had in your life but at least you know that he died happy.
After moving back to killin, you and your wife continue to live happily until she finally dies of old age, but before she goes, she tells you that meeting you, on that fateful day, was the most important thing that ever happened to her, and she loves you. a month later, you are in the hospital for complications with your heart, after all you are 103 years old. as your children hold your hands as you lie on your death bed, a smile crosses your lips for the last time as you slip sofltly into the afterlife...
Then you wake up, and realize that it was all a delusion from the typhoid fever that set in immediately after your cold was wished away.
(yeah i was bored.)
I wish that i could be productive.
-
(how could you do that do me?..................I hate effing terriers that was aweful lol)
Granted but you produce nothing of value
I wish I could own another daft short hair Border Collie
-
Granted, but it gets eaten by a terrier
I wish the paper i have to read wasnt so dry
-
Granted it is soaking wet making it impossible to read (that was obvious)
I wish I was fit enough to finish off the two mountains on Skye
-
granted, but as soon as you arive on skye, you are mauled by terriers who bite off your heels and cause you to never to be able to hike again.
I wish I had a skye terrier
-
Granted but its one of the attack Terriers whom ate my Border Collie and it ends up eating you for breakfast
I wish my sinisus would clear
-
granted, they clear so hard that they are just dry holes in your skull now that cause you immense pain
i wish i didnt feel like falling asleep every time i pick up this article i have to read.
-
Granted you are now wide awake and so full of energy that you start to annoy every one and they eventually end up killing you by making you watch Desperate Housewives.
I wish I was not "That Guy" who has to get things done.
-
granted, you are now 'that girl' who has to get things done.
I wish i didnt have to get up at 4:30 this morning.
-
Granted you now have to get up a 0330 but end up sleeping in missing out on some thing important and ruin it for everyone else
I wish there was not so many shopping channels
-
granted, now you have only 3 channels and they are all shopping
i wish i didnt have such terrible people skills when im tired.
-
Granted you now have no people skills
I wish I could find out where this Macafee/Norton anti virus programme was hiding on my laptop
-
granted, its in your sys32 file, and when trying to remove it you accidentially remove a bios critical file, turning your comp into a paperweight.
I wish i liked swiming
-
Granted the first time you go swimming for months you end up sinking like a anchor, unable to surface you drown struggling on the bottom of the pool only 7 feet under the surface.
I wish I had enough room on my laptop's hard drive to install and run all my Micro Shite Flight sim addons
-
granted, but they are incompatible with your graphics card.
I wish i wasn't so mopey
-
Granted you are now dopey the seventh dwarf
I wish there was a good film on tv tonight
-
granted, but your tv breaks just as the opening title of hunt for red october comes up.
i wish i knew where all the forumites were
-
Granted we are at a huge gathering but we forgot to tell you and I'm just off to join them
I wish there was a forumite gathering
-
granted, but your not invited
i wish i could catch this mouse
-
Granted but you end up catcing a mutated form of the plague from it (I know it was from rat fleas thats why its mutated)
I wish I had a job down at IWM Duxford
-
granted, 2$ an hour to scrub floors
i wish i didn't fuck up so bad last night.
-
Granted you now fuck up all the time
I wish I had not snatched at my model Vulcan as it slipped off the top of my tv
-
granted, it fell and shattered into a million pieces... so violent was the shattering that you are left blind with shrapnel in your eyes.
I wish i could feel like eating something.
-
Granted but its coal and you eventually die from too much carbon intake
I wish for snow
-
granted, 1 flake that melts immediatly upon touching the ground.
I wish i will get my assignment back today.
-
Granted you have failed it and the re-do test has nothing to do with the class subject: "The rise and fall of the Weimar Republic and apesment in the 1920's-30'd discuss" you have two days to get it done and handed in.
I wish I could find the remote control for the DVD player in my room
-
granted, but you have lost the player.
i wish i didnt feel so bad right now.
-
Granted you feel gutted..................since Emp has just used you for his bayonet practice
I wish I could get photos of all the R/C planes flown/had.
-
granted, but you are sufflocated under the gigantic pile of photos from every rc plane had by anyone ever.
i wish my laptop battery was charged
-
Granted but it soon explodes covering everything in battery acid since you used a 12v car battery dissolving everything in reach.
I wish this crick in my neck would vanish
-
granted, you can no longer feel the crick in your neck... or your legs... or anything below your chin for that matter.
I wish it was thursday already... this week is too slow.
-
Granted but you end up missing the most fantastic sex your lover would ever give you during wednesday
I wish the local prosecutor would change his mind and bring the wankers who broke into and vandalised the club shed to court and get them sent to prison for what they did.
-
granted, but they are sent escape within a week and torch the club shed and all the planes they can find.
I wish i will like soy cheese
-
Granted but you find out you are allergic to it and come out in great big blotches
I wish for the next Top Gun movie to be a lot better than the first
-
granted but its acted by the cast of sex and the city.
(also they are making another top gun?!?)
I wish i would stop eating these spitz
-
(so they say http://robotceleb.com/news/23882-10162010-top-gun-2-tom-cruise-sequel.html)
Granted you start eating your toe nails instead
I wish I could get rid of these spots on the back of my neck
-
granted, you now have bulbous growths on your neck
i wish the lasagna will be good
-
Granted but the dish is so hot when you take it out of the oven it burns your hands through your oven gloves and you end up dropping it and spilling it all over the floor where your attack Terrier starts eating it.
I wish I could find my infra red mouse
-
granted, but it has deteriorated to infragreen and no longer works
i wish i had remembered the vestibular organs during my exam.
-
Granted but the question is not asked in your exam papers
I wish not to wake up with a hang over tommorrow
-
granted, you are so hungover that you dont actually wake up, and miss the entire day.
I wish that she wont drink on halloween
-
granted she now drinks every day
I wish the room would stop spinning
-
granted, it starts tumbling
i wish LCS wasn't so convoluted and time consuming
-
Whatever that is happens, but you lost the Game. :P
I wish for a date to the Winter Formal.
-
granted, a beautiful 7 foot tall 300 pound man from the texas penal system accompanies you to the winter formal, you cant walk straight until the spring formal, but at least you had fun dancing, and you looked great in that slave dress.
i wish i was allowed to make a model of the middle ear instead of a diagram.
-
Granted but you get beaten up by the princaple for being a smart arse and making everyone else look bad.
I wish I could get some more room for a better building board/painting area for all these models I have still to build
-
granted, but you sell all your models to afford it.
I wish she would give me any reason at all.
-
Granted but the reason she gives is why she decided to nuke down town Montreal
I wish the eye drops the opticion out in would hurry up and disapate
-
granted, but they take your corneas with them.
i wish going to vancouver didn't take up my whole day.
-
Granted you dont go at all
I wish I could find my finger less gloves
-
(that would be great ;D)
Granted, but now you cant find your fingers.
i wish that i will win the HoN tournament with my brother tomorrow
-
Granted but the final challenge is you have to fight your brother, he defeats you by using a freeze spell and hacks off your character's head in one move.
I wish for steak
-
Granted. You get a stake through the heart.
I wish I were sexy.
-
granted, you are so sexy in fact that you have a huge fan base of beautiful women... unfortunately you are killed by a particularly jeleous stalker when you wink at one of your fans.
I wish my sister wasn't so grumpy
-
Granted she is now annoyingly cheerful and drives you so mad you end up killing her and the rest of your family
I wish a new series of scrapheap challenge was made but based around the old format.
-
granted, but its not aired in the uk
i wish i had more time today
-
Granted you now have all the time in the world since you have been locked up in a lunatic assylum
I wish I had not broken my good pair of head phones
-
granted, you broke your good pair of legs instead
i wish the HoN tournament wont take forever
-
(I dont have a good pair of legs anyway :-\ )
Granted you have got beaten in the first round and are banned for life
I wish I had Irn Bru (soda)
-
granted, but you break the tab off the can and cannot open it.
i wish my parcel will be at the door when i go to check.
-
Granted but its a bag of dog crap set on fire by the local kids
I wish I could find my thick socks......my feet are cold for some reason :-\
-
granted, but they are so thick that they cut off the circulation to your feet and cause them to become even colder.
i wish everyone will be able to make it tomorrow night.
-
Granted but you cant since you are called out of town
I wish for summer
-
granted, but you were stranded on an island at the bottom of south america to get it.
I wish the TA's class will be interesting and understandable.
-
Granted the Territorial Army (TA get it) PE lessons given by the Training Staff at Redford Barracks was in typical military talk: short, clear, loud and done outdoors in the wind,rain and mud.
I wish I had some ideas what paints to use for the detailing on my Soul Grinder
-
granted, but you choose lead based paint with an asbestos mixin and end up getting multiple types of cancer
i wish that my model will not break when i bring it home in my pack.
-
Granted but you suffer multiple fractures when you trip over a man hole cover.
I wish I ould go on a ghost hunt with TAPS.
-
granted, but it turns out that a ghost is hunting you... noone ever saw the ghost hunting team again... only their video camera was found... and exploited by hollywood studios.
I wish that my brother will spend some of his first paycheck on HoN
-
Granted but he uses it on his other profile which he and a friend has set up (with which they eventually win and conquer HoN) leaving you out.
I wish my police disclosure would hurry up and clear so I can get started at my new workplace.
-
granted, but it comes back with fabricated information about your lewd habits with parakeets and you are denied the job
i wish when i get to megans house everyone wont be completely drunk.
-
Granted but in your nervous state you get drunk due to a bottle of Rum you found in the cupboards in the kitchen and end up throwing up completly missing the toilet by throwing up in Megans living room in front of all your friends.
I wish I did not have those gralic and herb soft cheese muffins topped off with salami for lunch today
-
granted, you had rat soup instead
i wish my knees were not so cold...(why the hell are my knees cold?!)
-
granted you've been set on fire.
i wish my grandma hadn't died so soon.
-
Granted, she kept living, but the rest of your extended family died instead.
I wish CoD didn't come out on my lovers birthday every year.
-
Granted she has left you since you keep on insisting on spending her birthday out side the local shop waiting to get a copy
I wish I could own a X-box so I can have the Call Of Duty series
-
granted you can now own one, but the price in scotland is about the same as a house... and games are now region locked for scotland, as a seperate area to europe.
i wish that i wont fail my classes because of playing black ops too much
-
granted, but instead i play ninja blade for 8 consecutive hours instead of writing a paper.
I wish this thread will become active again, as it is much my favourite.
-
Granted but now the rest of the forum falls dead due to inactivity
I wish things go smoothly next week when the wargame club restarts
-
granted, but the floor is just a little too smooth and causes you to slip over and crack your skull open like an egg as your brains spill over the floor. someone then pukes on your brains.
i wish i could resist the temptation to go too far in this game
-
granted, but everyone else does, and you feel left out.
i wish i get to "do the dishes"(euphemistic tone) tonight
-
you do, but the apendage you use drops off
-
Since you forgot to make a wish the cast of Flipside and Forumites turns up out side your door and throws Flipside bricks at you
I wish my operation goes well in two weeks time
-
it does, but then you get a superbug while recovering after the op
i wish i remembered to make a wish last time
-
granted, but for making that wish, we still throw bricks at you.
i wish my brother would finish his game and play AoE II.
-
granted, but just as he begins playing the world explodes and we all die
i wish i was a duck
-
granted, but you are the ugliest duckings uglier cousin, and you still are ugly when you grow up.
i wish the AI in AoEII was slightly more competent.
-
granted, but it takes over the world skynet style
i wish my enthusiasm for new ideas lasted to the boring bit
-
granted, but you are so overenthusiastic, that when everyone else loses interest, you look like a nutcase.
I wish i didnt fall asleep while doing the readings for my class.
-
Granted but you get distracted by a squirrel climbing a tree
I wish I could get this peanut out of my stumpy wisdom tooth
-
granted, but then it gets lodged in your windpipe instead.
i wish my boss was not so bad at making schedules.
-
Granted you get to make them up and everyone else starts to complain how you make a right balls up of them
I wish the weather would improve so I can get this engine tuned for my R/C models
-
granted, but the atmosphere burns off instead, so your last moments are spent burning and suffocating wondering why oh why did you have to make another wish in this thread
i wish my internet would load faster!
-
Granted but a super computer virus spreads through out the net making it crash and no longer operable.
I wish this lethargic feeling would leave me
-
granted, its replaced with so much energy that your head spontaneously combusts.
I wish that i will win my HoN tournament tonight.
-
granted, you win by default because no one turns up.
i wish i could fly
-
granted, but you are shot down by remenant cold war automatic AA defenses.
i wish my professor was more technologically competent.
-
granted, but he builds a robot army to take over the world and uses them to kill you
i wish i had wiings
-
granted, but they are so large and cumbersome you cant fly or even walk.
i wish my waitress would stop flirting with these 2 guys and pay attention to the rest of her customers.
-
granted, but she starts flirting with you, you hook up and she turns out to be a dude
i wish i had a soul
-
granted, but it is soon stolen by a camera.
i wish my friend was not such a troll.
-
Granted he/she turns into your gimp
I wish I did not have to go into work for training tomorrow
-
granted, you have to go into regular hours work till the end of the week, and then two days of unpaid 12 hour training over the weekend.
i wish this bus was faster
-
granted, but it's going in the wrog direction
i wish i had more imagination
-
granted, you have so much imagination that i takes over your concious mind and causes you to fall into a vegetative state.
i wish reading break was closer
-
granted, it's closer, but has allready happened
i wish my friend had replied to my message on facebook last night so i knew what time we where meeting up today
-
Granted but thanks to the wondrous joys of Farcebook your friend has sent it to another person with the same name as you
I wish I had more Irn Bru
-
granted, but it contains too much iron and you die of metal poisoning.
i wish my head did not hurt so much
-
Granted it spontaneously swells up and explodes while you are sitting right in the middle of a class room covering everyone in brain matter,blood,skin and bone.
I wish my laptop would stop cheating and crashing when I'm winning against the AI in Company Of Heroes
-
granted, but the AI is just plain good now and you cannot even come close to beating it now.
i wish my chapter summaries were not so boring.
-
granted, they are so interesting that you get hypnotised by them and cannot draw yourself away
-
for not making a wish you are condemned to that special level of hell.
i wish i wasnt procrastinating right now
-
you can do nothing, because you cant stop.
I wish i had wittier com-backs.
-
Granted but they keep on getting you into trouble and long stays in hospital
I wish I could find parts in stock for my 5 Imperial Guard Sentinels
-
granted, but all you can find are basic lazpistols
i wish that i wont fall asleep in this class.
-
Granted, but you fall asleep by the wheel.
I wish i knew everything there is to know.
-
granted, but you are driven insane by the fact that you know the exact time and date of your own death, and cannot handle the reality of your own mortality.
i wish that my research subject was avaliable more reliably.
-
granted, he is now able to kill you 9 till 5 mon to fri
i wish i wasn't bored
-
granted, you are now so interested in something that you forget to eat or drink and die within days.
i wish i had pudding
-
granted... it is poisoned
i wish i could fly
-
granted, but you fall to the same fate that the last person who wished to fly fell to.
i wish that i wont be super tired tomorrow.
-
granted, because you sleep all day
i wish i could make an incorruptable wish
-
Granted, but sadly, you must go on a grand adventure to reach the required area. You die on the way.
I wish that I could travel across the plains of reality.
-
granted, but you trip on a rock and split your skull open within minutes of starting your journey
i wish getting up on sundays was easier.
-
Granted but you now sleep in during the week and miss all your classes
I wish windows would stop sending out stupid updates and get their shit together and build a reasonable product that does not need updates that take up large amounts of disk space.
-
granted, but the new windows 8 costs 1200 pounds for a single copy.
i wish this recording session will go well and i wont have to do another.
-
Granted but it gets lost in transit.........................meaning you will have to do another
I wish for ice cream preferably strawberry cheese cake flavour.
-
Your wish is my command... Sadly, this ice-cream is the best you have ever tasted, and thus ruins you for life, as every other food item afterwards pales in comparison. You end up committing suicide as you realize this. At least you had the best ice-cream ever.
I wish for a Gespenst MK-2, and the skills to pilot it.
-
Granted.....................but it's only a Radio Control model
I wish I had put in for more holiday time
-
granted, but you put in for an unreasonable amount and were fired as a result.
odd?
-
granted, one strawbery cheesecake icecream wit added cyanide coming up
I wish trains wouldn't make so many weird noises while moving
-
granted, they are so quiet that you are hit by one while crossing the tracks and not hearing it coming.
i wish i will get my assignment done on time.
-
Granted, you fail the assignment though.
I wish that our Universe would fuse with another more fantasy orientated one, without doing harm to either of it's residents, this being the Flipside forums... I wish our universe combines with Flipside!
-
granted, but you are bloody mary's first meal.
i wish i could tell if this girl was hitting on me or actually just wants to be friends.
-
granted, but that one kinda ruins itself, you lost all the fun and mystery!
i wish i didn't suddenly feel so shit
-
granted, you feel so shit over time instead of all at once.
i wish i knew if i wanted to do an honours.
-
Granted but the course codes gets mixed up with another course and you end up doing a honours degree on the technology of mid evil London sewers.
I wish these stitches would hurry up and dissolve
-
granted, but your jaw then falls off because the stitches were the only things keeping it attached.
i wish I had a Kinect that i didnt have to pay for.
-
granted, it conceals a bomb that wipes out half the planet, which detonates the first time you turn it on
i wish i wasn't feeling so damn jelous
-
Granted you now feel angry at missing out on the chance to gain what ever it is you where feeling jealous over
I wish my cunning plan works tomorrow night at my games club
-
granted, but you are disqualified for being too cunning and thrown out onto the street.
i wish people were actually playing brutal legend online
-
granted, they are playing it while sitting on power lines
i wish i had a decent sleep pattern
-
granted, you have the perfect pattern of sleeping for one hour and then being awake for one hour.
i wish it was next Wednesday already
-
granted, in order for it to be next wednesday, time has been speed up to such a great amount that the sun will go supernova in 30 seconds and a'll all die
i wish my tv wasn't flickering when being used as a monitor for my pc
-
Granted it fizzles out and stops working all together
I wish I never had those chips for dinner tonight
-
granted you had rusty nails instead... and not the drink.
i wish i will remember the cookies tomorrow.
-
granted but someone already ate them
i wish i finished my taxes already.
-
granted, you no longer have any money and infact owe £123987590324758905723904875298.96 for various reasons
i wish
-
granted your wish for nothing comes true leaving you all alone.
i wish i was getting more back on taxes
-
granted, you get five dollars more back but have to pay twice as much.
i wish i can get this essay done on time.
-
granted, however you wrote it on the wrong topic
i wish absolutely nothing!
-
granted, the universe blinks out of existance.
i wish i could find more sources for my paper.
-
granted but you don't need them anymore cuz there's no universe.
i wish i didn't have work tomorrow.
-
granted, it dissapeared along with the rest of the universe, but not before you got layed off.
i wish i will get a good nights sleep.
-
Granted but this is the only night you get a good nights rest for you develop chronic insomnia and lose the ability to rest.
I wish my Norse Blood Bowl team would hurry up and arrive.
-
granted, but they bowl you over when they arrive, and break every bone in your body.
i wish i can get the books i want out of the library easily.
-
granted, you can take them out, easily but all late fees are paid in the form of severed limbs and you are a week late in returning them
-
Since you have forgotten to make a wish you have inherited the entire world's debt
I wish I could get this raspberry seed out from in between my teeth
-
granted, your teeth all fall out, and since they are free to move apart now the seed is easy to remove
i wish it was easier to get to my apprenticeship
-
Once again since you have forgotten to make a wish your house gets buried under few hundred tons worth of lava..............even though you live no where near a active volcano
I wish I have a easy time at work tomorrow
-
granted, but only because you have been layed off.
i wish i didnt have to do physics.
-
granted the laws of physics no longer apply to you.
i wish my tummy would stop hurting.
-
granted, you can no longer feel it hurting as it has been removed from your body and you wake up in a tub of ice.
i wish i will be able to make it to the next HoN tournament.
-
Once again since you have forgotten to make a wish your house gets buried under few hundred tons worth of lava..............even though you live no where near a active volcano
I wish I have a easy time at work tomorrow
i did make a wish, i wished it was easier to get to my apprenticeship
granted, you are kicked out.
i wish Scots weren't so easy to take the piss out of, especially when they so drunk they can't read
-
granted, but now your entire family is pissed off by everything you say.
i wish my prof would give back our papers already, i want to how bad i failed.
-
granted it blows up in your hands when you see the 0 on it you end up in the hospital and fail the whole class cuz you are out sick too manny days. You must reapeat the class.
I wish i hadn't slipped on soapy water and fell at work tonight.
-
granted, you slipped and fell on your own blood after cutting off one of your hands.
i wish weekends were longer
-
Granted. They ae 365 days longer and you starve withou paychecks to buy food with.
I wish this thread was revived.
-
Granted, but you have to deal with me and my horrible corruptions now.
I wish for a doubloon.
-
Granted but I have no idea what that is so you get a rapidly melting ice cream cone instead.
I wish I had a job at Duxford airfield working on the old aircraft.
-
Granted, but you hav to pay them, instead of the other way around.
I wish for a portal gun.
-
and to me that would be a bad thing? ;D :P
Granted but it takes you to a post nuclear apocalypse world to a spot 200 fathoms under water where you implode the instant you walk through the portal due to the immense water pressure.
I wish this raspberry seed would get out of my back tooth.
-
Granted. It is replaced with buckets of hot lava.
I wish for a secret lair.
-
Granted. It's only a secret o one person.
I wish for another pair of arms.
-
Granted. They didn't taste very good.
I wish for pharmaceuticals.
-
granted, but they are placebos
i wish i didnt have to get up to turn on my computer
-
(i was hoping for that kindof corruption)
Granted. It will never turn on again.
I wish for webcomic references
-
granted, but they are not funny at all, and are just tiresome.
i wish my brother would finish his game
-
Granted, but it will take decades.
I wish for pi
-
Granted, you have Pi!
But all the formulas you encounter from now on are written using Tau.
I wish the weather would cool off for a little while.
-
Granted you now live in the Polar ice cap but without any survival gear and only wearing a Bermuda shirt,shorts and sandals.
I wish I could win a game of Blood Bowl.
-
Granted. It is now so incredibly easy, there is no joy from playing.
I wish for nachos.
-
Granted. Crispo kills you in a death match for them.
I wish for Faygo
-
Granted. Gamzee kills you in a brutal slaughter for them.
I wish for chicken.
-
granted, but its a rooster, and it slices your hamstrings and then pecks out your eyes.
i wish my class was over already
-
Granted. The entire school is shut down and you wasted your money because you can't get a degree.
I wish for slime pie.
-
It rusts your think pan, and you lose your sanity.
I wish for red chalk.
-
granted. it's suspended in a crate in the middle of the antarctic circle, and you have no idea where it is.
I wish for my teeth to STOP HURTING!!!
-
They stop existing too.
I wish I cou1d t41k 1ik3 this in r341 1if3.
-
Granted but since no one understands you, you end up getting ignored and spent the rest of your miserable life holed up in a bricked up house as a hermit.
I wish my next batch of vacation time gets approved.
-
Granted, but you have to spend it stuck in an elevator.
I wish I could visit the worlds of all the webcomics I read.
-
Granted, but when you get to flipside, you end up getting eaten by bloody mary...
I wish my models would paint eachother
-
Granted, but the paint is made of acid.
I wish for a good song.
-
Granted but you lose your all of your senses.
I wish for a well done sirloin steak sandwich.
-
Granted, but you drop it in dirt.
I wish for a bucket.
-
Granted, you forgot to hide it when all your friends came to visit. :o
I wish for more beer
-
Granted. You are forced to drink beer until it kills you.
I wish for coffee.
-
granted. it sucks.
I wish for the Dead Superheroes Orchestra
-
Granted but they can't play....................because they are dead.
I wish I could find time to finish off my Radio Controlled Mosquito.
-
Granted. You find the time, but waste it on something else anyway.
I wish for a dragon
-
Granted. Emp_Dragon burns you.
I wish for someone to stab me under my arms.
-
Granted. You have your arms crossed at the time...
I wish for Mika
-
Granted. 'Mika' breaks up the band.
I wish for a new Miyazaki film.
-
Granted. It's in the works already, stupid.
I wish to meet a troll and not die or get injured.
-
Granted you just have to look in the mirror..................then you die of the shock
I wish some of these keys would work and stop sticking.
-
Granted. They work once, then explode instead of stick. Type wisely.
I wish for Lemonade.
-
granted, you now have lemonaids.
i wish my computer parts would have got here yesterday
-
Granted. They were shot out of a powerful cannon to get there faster.
I wish for a cool superpower
-
Granted. Your power is to shoot red hot bear-traps out of your hands. You're still no match for a sneaky mugger with a gun though.
I wish for a NEW (completely new) Miyazaki film.
-
Granted. Despite the laws of the universe, it somehow sucks.
I wish for a Dr. Horrible sequel (that is awesome)
-
Granted. All the actors changed!!! (http://bradster.ws/pics/anigifs/QB03-02.gif)
I wish for pepperoni
-
granted, it is made from your left arm however.
i wish my game did not just crash
-
Granted. It vanished instead.
I wish for a source of awesome anime gifs.
-
Granted but as soon as you try to post them some where else your computer gets infected with a virus and shuts it down unable to restart or recover.
I wish this nettle sting would hurry up and go down.
-
Granted, but you get a hundred more.
I wish for tea.
-
Granted, but the plant was cultivated by the tender love of father Nurgle himself...
And as you sip the cuppa you feel yourself transforming into something unspeakable!
I wish for the weekend to be here sooner
-
Granted. The days of the week are renamed and the weekend is shifted back a day. Nothing in your schedule actually changes.
I wish there were more good games like Chrono Cross.
-
Granted. They cost 500 dollars an hour to play online, and it can't be played anywhere else.
I wish for food.
-
Granted, but now you have the Midas touch.
I wish for Frosted, shredded wheat cereal.
-
How is Midas touch bad? You just have to touch again to undo the effects... duh. 'The House of Mystery' said so!
Granted. You get Frosted, shredded wheat cereal. (gross)
I wish people shared my ideals on food.
-
Granted. These people are everybody you hate.
I wish my 2nd younger brother was less weird.
-
Granted, he's even more annoyingly smug now.
I wish to find an awesome AMV
-
Granted, but it won't load.
I wish for a piano.
-
Granted. It's FREE! But shipping costs are over $6,000.
I wish for pain relief
-
Granted, but you are constantly on fire.
I wish for Egypt.
-
Granted. It falls on you.
I wish for you to never get someone else to corrupt that wish.
-
Granted. Instead, they allow me to simply own Egypt, and all is well for me. Meanwhile, your wishes are double corrupted, to balance it out.
I wish I glowed in the dark.
-
granted but now you are kept in a high security maximum prison because your radioactivity is so high you endanger everything you touch.
I wish I had a new apartment already.
-
Granted. It is on fire.
I wish for a glass eye.
-
Granted. It shatters in your head cavity.
I wish I had perfect aim.
-
Granted, but only when you are aiming for yourself.
I wish for a snow globe.
-
granted, but you drop it on your big toe, causing immense amounts of pain.
i wish i was not so good at procrastinating
-
Granted. You're even better.
I wish for cherry flavored gelatin.
-
Granted, but it turns out you are allergic to the artificial flavouring and choke on it.
I wish my left thumb wouldn't hurt so much...
-
granted now your big toe hurts instead cuz sushi stomped on it.
(i actually know someone who moved to an apartment and a month later it set on fire. :'( )
i wish the new apartment doesn't set on fire
-
granted, but the apartment above yours falls down crushing everything inside.
i wish i can get both my assignments done tomorrow morning before class(yay procrastination!)
-
Granted. You can... but don't.
I wish Neila a happy birthday
-
Granted, but you have a terrible day.
I wish Neila a fantastic birthday.
-
granted, but her version of a fantastic birthday involves the apocolypse and the earth is torn asunder.
i wish i was not so addicted to SC2 squad defense
-
Granted. You're addicted to murder instead.
I wish for teleportation powers.
-
Granted You can only teleport things into your nose.
I wish I had better teleportation powers.
-
Granted. You can only teleport things into either your nose or your eyes. The fact that there's a choice is what makes it better.
I wish form the ability to breathe fire (and not get hurt by doing so).
-
Granted but you choke to death on the fumes from the fire extinguishers the fire brigade use to put out your breath.
I wish for some anti-acid tablets for my stomach. That Mexican meal I had last night is not agreeing with me.
-
Granted. They prevent your stomach from ever producing acid again. It isn't very pleasant.
I wish for the best chicken wings in the world.
-
Granted. They're technically basilisk wings, and you have to get them form the creature while it's alive.
I wish for understanding.
-
Granted but you are out when it gets delivered and is taken back to the warehouse to be studied by top men.
I wish I could find a good cheat for Mech Commander2.
-
Granted. In fact, it's so good, it does absolutely everything for you. No need to play anymore.
I wish for a hat that will grant me magical powers.
-
Granted, but it's the crown of sorcery, imbued with part of the soul of an undead liche king that slowly starts to take over your mind and body leaving your soul a helpless spectator.
I wish for a suitable virgin to sacrifice to chaos undivided:P
-
Granted. You are sacrificed. (OOH! BUUUUURN!)
I wish for lime
-
Granted, but you have to eat it with a coconut. A rotten coconut. Also, the lime is rotten, too.
I wish for this wish to be granted with something I will be satisfied with.
-
Granted but its to be eaten by a Great White Shark
I wish I had not screwed up that last mission on Mech Commander 2.
-
Granted. Every single other mission goes horribly wrong, instead.
I wish for cake.
-
Granted. With the same intentions in mind, you instead get chocolate 'clake.'
I wish for ladles of jello
-
Granted. They don't function very well, and ruin your soup.
I wish for a pet roombadillo.
-
Granted. I get a pet Armadroid it crushes your roombadillo.
I wish for less chocolate to exist in the world.
-
Granted, because you are forced to eat it... Lucky.
I wish for oh, so much more chocolate in the world.
-
granted. but its all abhorrently expensive.
i wish i knew how to cast spells that work.
-
Granted, but to cast spells you have to pour your own blood... all of it.
I wish that the statement "this statement is false" to be true.
-
Granted. It is false.
I wish for watermelon.
-
Granted but its full of water.
I wish this weather would clear so I could go out and work on my mountain bike.
-
Granted, but you're on fire.
I wish for a deck of marked cards.
-
Granted. Everyone knows when you cheat now. Stupid wish.
I wish for the ability to cheat without ever getting caught.
-
Granted but you win so much every one stops wanting to take you on.
I wish this green stuff I'm coughing up due to my head cold would disappear.
-
Turns out it was your life essence. Granted.
I wish for tapioca.
-
Granted. You get so much, that you get intoxicated with prussic acid.
I wish to learn japanesse.
-
Granted. No one else speaks japanesse. Plenty of people speak Japanese however.
I wish for food. I'm HUNGRY!!!
-
Granted. A cow falls from the sky on your head. Plenty of meat for you!
I wish for my geforce 450 gts to be here already.
-
Granted, but as you prepare to install it, you are overwhelmed by cuddly, dusty kittens that rub themselves on you so the static they generate fries the graphics card and the dust chokes the motherboard into overheating when you try starting it all up.
I wish I get hold of a signed hard-cover copy of 'Aurelian' without having to kill anyone...
-
Granted, but somebody else comes and kills you to get it.
I wish coffee wouldn't make me feel sick.
-
Granted. It kills you instantly instead.
I wish for my ideal job.
-
Granted, you are now a lobotomized then posessed autoloader servitor on a chaos warhound scout titan... A plastic one XD
I wish my belly would stop aching.
-
Granted your appendix has just exploded rupturing your stomach lining causing stomach acid to dissolve you from the inside.
I wish for a steak pie for lunch.
-
Granted. It's raw, though.
I wish for a bucket.
-
you're sick!
I wish for dancing gifs
-
Granted. You forget where on the internet they are.
(http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/354/4/6/wh4t_now___dancing_terezi_by_mcknackus_theoneth-d35beua.gif)
I wish for fealty.
-
I don't need to remember. You just gave me a perfect one.
Granted. You are now my servant forever.
I wish for all things
-
Granted. Though, you also get all of the diseases known, and some we still don't know.
I wish that my muscles would be like they were on Monday, before tiring them to the point of aching. snif snif
-
Granted. Your muscles from Monday are bloodily ripped from the past and replace the ones you now have. The past bloodiness also has some bad side effects that catch up with you in the present.
I wish for tomato soup.
-
Granted but you can not find a can opener no matter where you go.
I wish I can win a game of Warhammer 40K!
-
Granted. You then proceed to lose everything else.
I wish for a pet ferret.
-
Granted, it then runs up your trouser leg and castrates you making you bleed to death,
I wish Scotland to get to the final of the Rugby World Cup.....................AND WIN!!
-
Granted. They win, but are all kicked out for performance enhancing drugs, because it is the only way it could have happened. :P
I wish I knew less about Rugby than I do now.
-
Granted you now know nothing at all after having your frontal lobes removed and left a drooling idiot.
I wish this dam small fly would curl up and die since its annoying me.
-
Granted. You are the fly. It's you.
I wish for bubble tea.
-
Granted. it was made with rotton fruit and rancid milk. it is gross.
I wish for stating of facts.
-
Granted. You are unwarrantedly weird.
I wish for text.
-
Granted. (ha)
I wish for irony.
-
Granted but I've misread your wish and given you all of my washing to iron.
I wish my sore throat would heal soon.
-
Granted, but I misread your wish and kick you in the throat with my heel... soon.
I wish for anime.
-
Granted. It is all of the worst anime that you've never wanted to see. Ex: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kimi_ga_Nozomu_Eien) (One of the WORST things I've ever put myself through...)
I wish that Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien never existed.
-
Granted. To balance out the universe, Clannad becomes terrible.
I wish for capitulation, by somebody else.
-
Granted, the Emperor of mankind now capitulated to his son Horus instead of killing him at the siege of Terra at the end of the Horus Heresy.
I wish my buddy Al' would get her hot little self online and on skype already!
-
Granted, but she only uses it to say she's going to murder you.
I wish for helium.
-
Granted, you get so much of it, your voice is so high everybody laughs at you forever.
I wish for diggy diggy.
-
Granted. You dig your own grave.
I wish for Interstella 5555.
-
Granted, but you start seeing everybody as blue people and start suspecting everyone. Suicide is the only answer.
I wish for better drawing skills.
-
Yer wish be Granted. All pirates and landlubber alike now be a bit better at the visual arts.
I wish fer ye all ta talk like pirate, seein' as it be talk like a pirate day.
-
Iy'll be doin' that then. Also... some REAL pirates be stabbin' yeh in yur' back then.
uh... I be wishin' fer some WENCHES!
-
Granted. They're stabbing you in the front.
I wish for a Neverhood movie.
-
Granted, but the director is so bad, it transforms it into something crappy and not worth watching.
I wish the D&D table planned for tomorrow is actually made.
-
Granted. You are too busy to play D&D ever again.
I wish for liqourice.
-
Granted. It is infused with lots of salt.
I wish for blue things.
-
granted. You are being strangled brutally, and you turn blue from lack of oxygen.
I wish for salamander cherries
-
Granted. The genetic abomination tastes terrible.
I wish for Ichor.
-
Granted. Watery discharges come out from your wounds and produce an horrible and fetid smell.
I wish for more time.
-
Granted. Well... Kinda'... I misheard you, and gave you a jar of thyme.
I wish for Halloween.
-
Granted. Razor blades in are all of your candies.
I wish for razor blades in all of your candies.
-
Very Well! Razor Blades are in all of my candies. Thankfully I am a type 1 diabetic, and I don't eat candies. And my family are Jehovah's witnesses and don't celebrate Halloween. So it has done practically nothing.
I wish that... eh... why the hell not... Zombies Attack!
-
Granted. Zombies attack, but you were asleep when it happened, and you missed out on all of the awesome undead head smashing excitement. They weren't hard to kill, but they a lot of fin to kill.
I wish that all lightbulbs were made of gummi candy.
-
Granted. Thomas Edison invented gummi candy instead. This drastic absence of a crucial technology means the internet never existed. Thanks a lot, jerk.
I wish for the internet to exist.
-
Granted. It is still full of freaks and perverts... only now there are more of them... and you're one of them... no... both of them...
I wish for many dots.
-
Granted. All of these dots are tally marks representing how many times you will be punched in the face, within the span of the next year:
(http://imagej.nih.gov/ij/images/dots.gif)(http://imagej.nih.gov/ij/images/dots.gif)(http://imagej.nih.gov/ij/images/dots.gif)(http://imagej.nih.gov/ij/images/dots.gif)(http://imagej.nih.gov/ij/images/dots.gif)(http://imagej.nih.gov/ij/images/dots.gif)(http://imagej.nih.gov/ij/images/dots.gif)
(About once every four minutes)
-
Granted. As you didn't wish for anything, nothing is granted.
I wish for tickets to go see System of a Down.
-
Whoops. I had a wish, but forgot to put it down. Uh... granted, but they get into a terrible accident on the way there, ending their music career.
I wish for roasted, candied pecans.
-
Granted, but i forgot about them and burnt them.
terrible accident on the way there, ending their music career.
Don't even joke about that. :-X
I wish for more drinks, i've run out...
-
Granted, but they are Pepsi products (which, from my point of view, is an absolutely horrendous corruption).
I wish for Coca-Cola.
-
Granted. All Coca-Cola is in anime form and you can not drink it. On the plus side, anime that previously could not show Coca-Cola products are now able to have it. Characters are now able to drink it and they love it.
(http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/6590/wedhititfw5.gif)
The down side is that you can never drink it again.
I wish that I was in anime form, with excellent animation.
-
That gif doesn't make much sense...
Granted, but the plot is terrible and you never make it past the pilot episode.
I wish for clockwork mechanisms.
-
Granted, they're all jammed.
Btw, sorry, but i love pepsi, so i guess my wish actually came true without being corrupted. :P
Speaking of it, i just got a load of 10 bottles of it... Maybe you DO grant wishes. :O
I wish for a new one piece ep already, anxiety is killing me. XD
-
Granted, but it doesn't really progress the plot very much, so you're disappointed about that.
Well... I figured there was close to a 50/50 chance you'd like Pepsi, but since I was granting the wish, I figured I could be nice and go with a corruption that pertained to my opinion and wouldn't necessarily ruin it for you. And if you had been a Coke fan, it'd just be cool that there was another Coke fan. Win-win.
I wish for a high-quality, long running, good plot, PG13, good-voice-acted Vocaloid anime, for everybody to enjoy.
-
That's quite the wish, but no matter, granted; too bad the publishing company sucks and nobody ever hears of it.
I wish to be able to finish my studies this year once and for all.
-
Granted. You finish them very poorly... I guess.
I wish for a purple giraffe stuffed toy animal.
-
That gif doesn't make much sense...
somehow... I misread it.
Granted. it is a Wizard purple stuffed toy animal, and it joins my army!!!
I wish to take over the world with my army.
-
Granted, although your reign over the world as short lived, as a magical mishap causes it to explode.
I wish that I had a pet cat.
-
Granted. You are severely allergic to dogs, and you also have a pet dog.
I wish I had a pet rat which has no diseases.
-
Granted. It has no lungs either.
I wish for bacon.
-
Granted. Your bacon is made of rat lungs.
I wish for the most amazing thing ever.
-
Granted. It's a CTV-Homestuck-Flipside-ATM-[Sic]Productions-Fajita-Cwen's Quest CROSSOVER with a cameo appearance of ME! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
I wish for a big box of fortune cookies.
-
Granted, they say "You'll die for reading fortune cookies". So, will you open them to find out?
I wish for nothing.
-
I wish for grapefruit juice.
-
granted. I mix it with other things to make the concoction I call "demon fuzz." I'm the only person who likes it.
I wish for a world member roster.
-
Granted. It is very heavy book and it hits you in the head at high speed.
I wish for dual rapiers.
-
Granted. You can only have them if you can defeat Zoro. He is armed, and you are not.
Good Luck.
I wish for NOW to happen.
-
Granted, but you just missed it, now it's THEN.
I wish this weekend never ends.
-
Granted. Time decelerates so that we are constantly approaching the end of the weekend, but never get there. From our subjective point of view, you just ended the universe.
I wish for bacon.
-
Granted. It's kitten bacon.
┴ u ┴
I wish for a lot of things...
-
Granted. A lot of knives and bullets.
I wish for good music.
-
Granted. Some thugs beat you up. It is music to my ears.
I wish for ♥♦♣♠
-
Granted. All of the quadrants are filled by dead people.
I wish for another octopus plushie.
-
Granted. It has existed for a very long time, but it's so big that people mistook it for a heavenly body. It's actually Pluto. You'll never... ever... be able to hug it.
I wish for killing everybody in the world
-
granted everyone but you is killed. in fact your made immortal. enjoy.
i wish to live a full life of love and happiness.
-
Granted. You die at birth.
I wish for less morbid things.
-
Granted. Instead of hair, flowers grow from your hair, and instead of the normal bodily function, you pee orange soda.
It's not morbid, but it's humiliating and slightly painful.
I wish for hilarity.
-
Granted. You laugh yourself into unconsciousness and incur brain damage.
I wish for Whose Line is it Anyway to return.
-
Granted. You laugh yourself into unconsciousness and incur brain damage.
I wish lava dinosaurs would conquer the world, reanimate Billy Mays from the dead, and appoint him the Zombie Lord.
-
Granted. He makes a terrible ruler and pretty much just forces people to buy products at reasonable prices.
I wish for chocolate lava cake.
-
Granted. Sadly, it was prepared by a horrible cook who misread the ingredients and thus tastes horrible.
I wish that I would actually find it within myself to stay active on a forum.
-
Granted. All other obligations are entirely ignored.
I wish for bacon brownies.
-
Granted. You quintupled the required dosage of bacon grease on accident, and now the brownies taste disgusting.
I wish for llamas to dance in the pail moon light.
-
(That wouldn't ruin them for me.)
Granted. They use your corpse as a dance mat.
I wish for a pet dragon.
-
Granted. It's the cutest little thing ever. In fact, if it weren't for CTV already being the equivalent of an emotional fort Knox, you would be quite sure he'd take top priority in your love banks.
*burp*
He was delicious.
I wish that I could shoot confetti from my eyes.
-
Granted. It hurts like all hell, but at least it looks pretty... like this:
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf4u8aGhyc1qfw1t3.jpg)
I wish for Tim Burton to stop making what I, personally, am really reluctant to call "movies", and for Danny Elfman to stop producing what I am highly hesitant to call "music".
-
Granted. Both of them move on to the hotdog industry, never again to be awesome. there hotdogs taste terrible.
I wish for a feast fit for a turkey king.
-
Granted. A banquet of the finest Turkish cuisine is prepared, but you are forced at gun point to eat every last bite of the massive feast.
I wish for a genie who won't corrupt my wishes.
-
Granted, instead, he just doesn't grant you any.
I wish for a phone number.
-
Granted, but it doesn't have a phone to go with it.
I wish for ponies.
-
Granted. They hate you, and kick your mouth a lot.
I wish for Humpty-Dumpty to be put back together again.
-
Granted. He
was is a terrorist.
I wish for Zombie Jamboree.
-
Granted. quietly but surely you can here the sounds of political debate and something else that's harder to make out... sounds like
...brains... ...brains...
what is that sound?
...brains... ...brains...
you're serious... the politics is annoying enough, but not knowing what that sound is is really annoying. You decide to investigate albeit all of the information your parents gave you, warning you never to get into a political discussion. However the enticing sound is getting louder!
...brains... ...brains... ...brains...
Brains? Wait a minute... uh oh!!
...brains! brains!! brains!!!
you get eaten.
game over.
I wish for a more elaborate and thought out corruption for my wish, which is to be captain of the U.S.S. Awesome-Crazy-Party-Boat-Ship-Bonanza!
-
Granted. You have to think of it, though.
I wish for an actual jamboree. (Seriously, where the heck did politics come in?)
-
(Seriously, where the heck did politics come in?)
defenition 3 (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/jamboree)
Granted. It's a dinosaur jamboree and they eat you.
I wish for lots and lots of lots
-
They take too long to be constructed and they're not finished until you're dead.
I wish for soot gremlins.
-
They dance in your coca-cola making it sooty.
I wish for an umbrella
-
Granted, but the rib tips have razor blades on them and you cut yourself all the time.
I wish I was willed Steve Jobs' fortune.
-
Granted. You are also willed, Hitler's legacy.
I wish for nasty devilish things
-
Granted, but they take your soul.
I wish for the heart of Davy Jones
-
Granted, he chases you and kills you.
I wish for the sickness to go away.
-
Granted. It goes away... but returns with an army, stronger than ever before, and it wants revenge for you making it leave.
I wish for music from the 60s.
-
Granted. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bQZ6l_cq5Y)
I wish I didn't here that awful "song."
-
Touche...
Granted. Every song you've ever heard in your entire life has somehow been interpreted as Danny Elfman's 'This is Halloween'.
I wish for gruel.
-
Granted. It made from your unborn children, and seasoned with you own hair.
I wish for people getting their rock on.
-
Granted we stone you to death,
I wish for more holiday time.
-
Granted. Christmas lasts all year and they only play Christmas music now.
I wish for a sudden dramatic plot twist.
-
Christmas is canceled.
I wish for Sushi to enjoy watching Tim Burton's "The Nightmare Before Christmas."
-
Granted. I enjoy watching it... as it melts and burns in a fire.
I wish for sodium acetate.
-
Granted. You have sodium acetate. I enjoy watching you... as you melt and burn in a fire.
I wish for long tea pots.
-
Granted. Their shaped makes them unusable.
I wish for a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
-
Granted. You have no way of reading the damn thing.
I wish for damned things.
-
Granted. One of them is your soul.
I wish for blessed things.
-
Granted. Your soul is not one of them.
I wish for a snorlax
-
Granted, but it is asleep and you never get a pokeflute.
I wish for Lemons.
-
Granted. I teleport them to you using my new invention, "The Teleporter!" Unfortunately there a slight problem (your fault. you moved) and they teleport in your head. Incidentally, I'm a trillionair now.
I wish for pumpkins.
-
Granted. They are your second test subject for your new invention. Unfortunately, there a slight problem (Your fault. You forgot to recalibrate it afler the lemon incident) and they teleport into my grave, inside my head. This causes them to mutate with the lemons, bringing me back to life as a photosynthetic zombie, whose lifespan is extended indefinitely. I reverse engineer the process and become a quadrillionaire, driving your company into the ground.
I wish for Jell-O.
-
Granted. I throw it in yo face! And it's burn flavor!
I wish for burn flavored candy.
-
Granted. It is made of hydrochloric acid. That and some sugar.
I wish for people to never again switch the words "itch" and "scratch".
-
Granted. Now the last word in every sentence is "fuck."
I wish for Odd to win a million dollars.
-
Granted. Somehow you are now a million dollars in debt.
I wish for a ferret.
-
Granted!!! Because you're always wishing for a ferret, you have too many of them, and they eat you alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish you'd get a damn ferret already.
-
Granted. It is more awesome than you.
I wish for a billion dollars, with no metaphorical strings attached.
-
Granted. A Million Dollars lands on top of you crushing you.
I wish for a penny.
-
Granted. The other 999,000,000 dollars from my wish is converted to pennies and crushes you.
I wish for a triangle.
-
Granted. It's a shard of broken glass, and you've get sliced your wrist with it by accident.
I wish for a robot that does taxes.
-
Granted. Although it doesn't do Taxes well, leading to all sorts of problems.
I wish I could overcome my own laziness.
-
Granted. But overcoming it is all you can bring yourself to do. Now you're just tired.
I wish for baked bads.
-
Granted. You bake my neighbors and are imprisoned for murder of the 1st degree, and burning of the third degree.
I wish my neighbors sucked ever so slightly more so that it would be legal to hurt them.
-
Granted, but I already did it and I get off scott free.
I wish for a glazed doughnut.
-
Granted. You dropped it down an open man-hole.
I wish for party.
-
Granted. You get republicans.
I wish for new headphones.
-
Granted. only one side works at a time.
i wish i could have the bunny i dreamt about last night for real.
-
Granted in the morning you find it's bloody,severed head in bed beside you.
I wish Christmas adverts would start towards the middle of November.
-
Granted. It's still stupid that they start before December.
I wish for cake.
-
Granted. You get a picture of a cake. In the back it says "The cake is in another castle!".
I wish for heaven to come down to my house.
-
Granted but it's hellish.
I wish my laptop would behave it self.
-
granted. it behaves itself in the hands of a new owner. You don't have a laptop anymore.
I wish for Yotsubato!
-
Granted. But it is translated into Lithuanian.
I wish for whole milk.
-
granted but it expired three months ago.
I wish i didn't have to worry about money
-
Granted for you dont have any.
I wish it was warm outside so I can spray paint these models.
-
Granted, the earth crashes into the sun
I wish i had a Better computer
-
Granted. Better Inc. is notorious for their poor production quality. Not knowing this, you buy one of their computers and it explodes when you turn it on.
I wish for useful superpowers.
-
Granted, thepowers are useful for killing yourself
I wish i had more time to play tor
-
Granted but your version of Tor is corrupted and crashes just before you complete the game.
I wish I knew what was wrong with Dawn Of War II
-
Granted. The horrifying secret keeps you awake at night.
I wish for more tea.
-
Granted you drink so many cups of tea your appendix gets infected and bursts,
I wish I had a Ferret scout car.
-
lol but not having money is why i have to worry about money der. lolz :P
granted but its missing all the parts that make a car run.
I wish bad things would happen to a bad person
-
Granted. You are the cause of Michael Jackson's death.
I wish for scrambled eggs.
-
Granted but its made from powdered eggs!!
I wish I could stop biting my finger nails.
-
Granted. No more fingernails.
I wish for good luck.
-
granted you have good luck at failing in everything.
I wish a had a bunny.
-
Granted. It is like the rabbit from Monty Python.
I wish for magic.
-
Granted but it back fires and you are charged for murder when you try to cut some one in half with band saw.
I wish for a meat feast pizza.
-
Granted, but Pizza Day was yesterday, so it's not as fun.
I wish for more people to actually celebrate International Pizza Day.
-
Granted
The year is 2013, world pizza day, after a lot of advertising by a number of major pizza chains across the world in the months leading up to pizza day. As a result the holiday is celebrated by a large amount of people. it goes down a sucess.
Over the next few years pizza day slowly grows, gaining it's own traditions. Soon it becomes a globally recognised holiday.
2015, a week before pizza day, a number of pizza chains group together and form a new currency: the pizza. Following the introduction of the pizza as currency it proves to be a sucess. within 10 years the entire world adopts the pizza as currency.
2017-2026 world obesity rates rise due to the fact that the world's main currency is also a rather fatty food.
2026 due to the widespread obesity, farm workers are in high demand. Due to the lack of labour the world stocks of grain plummet. This is followed soon by the world stocks of flour
Late 2026 massive deflation, noone can obtain any pizzas, the world economy crashes.
2027 due to the widespread failiure of the world economy there is panic, looting and widespread rioting, the world population drops by 40%.
Pizza day 2028 the holiday is re-instated by the survivors to remind them never to repeat the past, this time it is not a day to eat pizza, but instead it is a holiday to banish the sins of those who make and enjoy pizza, all those who cold be proved to have celebrated pizza day prior to 2013 are put to death by firing squad. Due to the survivors still being largely obease they are unable to hold eir aim steady and most of the guilty are shot in non- lethal locations, they are not treated and suffer and die slow agonising deaths from their injuries.
I wish i haden't just spent half an hour writing and cleaning that story up
-
Granted but the memory of that horrid story lingers and the remaining typing mistakes haunt you for the rest of your tormented life until you decide to release your tortured soul by joining the annual Leap Of The Lemmings over the cliffs into the deep Fjords of Norway.
I wish my building board would clear it self so I could finish off some of these modelling projects.
-
Granted. It clears itself by becoming intangible.
I wish for inspiration to strike.
-
Granted, you have an amazing idea, wich alows you to create a time machine. At first you use the time machine sensibly, and only travel in order to observe great events without interfearing, until, during a journet throug the endless pasages of time and thought, inspiration literally hist you, causing the wole of timespace t colapse in on itself.
I wish the next poster could reccomend me an enjoyable film to watch
-
Granted. I recommend a documentary about the history of Coca-Cola. I'd enjoy it.
I wish for more MLP:FiM swag.
-
granted but its all stolen by a guy in a mouse costume.
I wish I could afford to pay off my debts
-
You collect life insurance and inheritance money from your recently-deceased family. Yes, the whole family. The zombie apocalypse is breaking out so you manage to collect the funds just barely in time before the world's governments start to break down, but rather than enjoy life without debt you have to personally euthanize all your other loved ones or become a zombie yourself.
I wish for more commissions on DeviantArt.
-
Granted, but the subject matter of the commissions are horrible.
I wisͤ̄ͫͦ̌ͭ́҉̤̭̻h̶͓̻̼͉̞̓ͮ ̴̡̰̣͇̬̤̺̰͌ͨ̓ͧ̌̚ͅfͮ͋̿͏͖̩͕̻̬̹̠͖o͍̝̳̦͔̅̀͐͗͑ͪ̑̕r̞̙̲̮͉̂̒̉̇̕͢ͅ ̵̘̙̭̻̗̜̹̣͌̒ͥͧ͗̑ͧ͛͝Z̷̡̢̺̠͚̝̣̘̘͙͗̔̋̂͒̑ǎ̡̡̬̹͍͔̺͑͂̅ͥ̅l̈̏̅̃̅͌̋̄҉͔̫̫̻̜̖ͅg̑̈́̂͏͕̞͇̘̠̮o̵͇̭̒̌͂̄͌̏̀̑!̨̺̻̖̹̹̖͇̌͌̉̅ͦ́
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Granted. "Zalgo," is the name of Finland's latest pop music craze, and they're coming to your house to play especially for you!
(the Finnish fangirls crush you as they swarm into your house to meet Zalgo.)
I wish for a dish delish.
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Granted. It is made from your legs, but it tastes really good.
I wish for books.
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You die buried under a pile of books. Ironically they are all copies of one book, which is about you dying.
I wish for a girlfriend who'll let me paint on her.
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Granted. She won't let you touch her her or look at her though... kind of defeating the purpose.
I wish for a pet goat.
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Granted. It is very old though, and will die in a few days.
I wish for food.
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granted but it's three days rotten.
i wish i had enough money to pay my bills off.
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Granted. You have just enough for bills and nothing else. Ever again.
I wish for more music.
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Granted, you just decided to buy Razzly's first album (link's in the chat thread) but after that, all other music sounds so blend you loose interest.
I wish I could see through things.
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Granted. But the things you can see through must be made of transparent glass, water, or air.
I wish for imperviousness.
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Granted, you can no longer eat and soon starve to death.
I wish for this thread to be brought back to life!
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Granted, but the threat will be used only for good, never for evil.
I wish for more beer.
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Granted but its American pish water (Miller and Budwieser) not the good British brewed stuff.
I wish for some Heather Ale.
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Granted, but she's an overweight woman child from Alabama.
I wish Liverpool would win the English Premier League every year for the next decade.
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Granted but since Liverpool keep on winning the English Premier League every one gets fed up of it, sponers pull out and come up North and sponsers the Scottish Leagues instead ;D
I wihs I had a bottle of Irn Bru.
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Granted, but you only get the bottle, the inside is of course empty.
I wish I was a catfish, swimming in the deep blue sea and I'd have all the women fishin' after me.
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Granted, You are soon caught by an all female fishing boat, and quickly cooked and consumed.
I wish for the power of love!
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Granted, but your hand cramps up in 3 and a half hours.
I wish I had a power level over 9000!
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Granted, sadly a stronger being quickly senses you and blows up your whole planet just in case.
I wish that magic was real!
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Granted, as magic is already real, like the magic in a newborn, or the magic of a perfectly blue day.
I wish I could listen to more Donovan songs.
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granted but ever song skips at your favorite part.
I wish all the regular everyday forumites that used to post daily would return and stay on always.
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granted, they all now hate you.
i wish my damned VM would work -.-
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It'll work fine, but your base machine gets a virus.
I wish I could eat sausage and it would make me healthier.
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granted, your so healthy that you get abducted by the military to perform tests do discover your alien origins.
i wish work was less boring right this very second.
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Granted, the log of your visiting keenspot was flagged in the company firewall. Expect a visit from IT over the next several days.
I wish some attractive fraulein would deliver me a Limburger, mustard and onion sandwich on pumpernickel.
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Granted but the Fraulein is really an assassin who mistakes you for her proper target, who is a high ranking company CEO sitting two tables away, and injects you with a Racine coated ball bearing shot from a spring loaded catapult hidden under her tray. You instantly feel sick and unable to eat your meal only to die three days later in hospital.
I wish the weather would make up it's mind!
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Granted! There is instantly a new ice-age with ice going as far as Cannes, emigrating polar bears eat your neighbours and your left leg and you freeze your fingers off.
I wish I could get economically independent before christmas.
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Granted. You win the lotto, but your new girlfriend takes you to court after January 1. Though a series of bad decisions and unfortunate judgments, you are completely destitute by April 15 and unable to make your income tax payment. By November 12, you plead guilty to tax evasion charges. When you report to your assigned federal penitentiary on December 1 , you are the new girlfriend.
I wish I had a nearby cot and shower so I did not have to leave work.
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Granted. You never leave work. Loser.
I wish someone would restart this game.
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Granted I have but you realise what a mistake it was and go hang your head in shame!
Going back to an old wish: I wish the tendinitis in my left knee would be fixed all ready!
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Granted, Your left leg has been removed.
I wish to return to the Flipside Forums!
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You are allowed to return. In fact, not only you but all the forumites that had sadly left and been sorely missed come back!
And then so does everyone who's been hated.
And every spammer that was ever banned.
And every ad bot.
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I wish for the motivation to draw stuff regularly like Brion does.
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Granted. But you will be forced to draw day and night. Your muse will not let you rest. Ultimately, you become insane, cutting off various body parts and buying many copies of Catcher in the Rye.
I wish Brion would draw all 7 of my characters in my 7 books for his Kickstarter with radishes in various stages of ill-repute.
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Granted, but ink gets spilled on them, obscuring all the naughty bits of your characters.
I wish posts would come here faster.
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granted but its all spam and I have to delete them all.
I wish the old forumites would all come back and post regularly on a daily basis again.
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But you'll only get me! Daris!
I wish for time to be turned back to the old days! So that we can prevent everyone from leaving!