Maytag's Playhouse => Hall of Games => Topic started by: Azure on August 07, 2009, 02:16:51 pm
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Was watching one of those "world's wildest videos" shows the other day and this popped into my head.
Things you don't want as your last words.
"Hey, watch this!"
"Betcha I can."
"You're a big one, ain'tchya?"
"Here, hold my beer."
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"O.K., folks, stand back!"
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"I'll be right back"
"I have a good Idea"
"Do you hear that?"
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"Nah, It's just firecrackers"
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"what happens if I press this?"
"I'll climb the tree to get the model plane down"
"are you sure it is tied the right way round?"
"did you work this out?"
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"What could possibly go wrong?
"Sure it's safe."
"I wonder what happens when I mix these..."
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"I can jump that, no problem."
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"They can't possibly hit us at this range."
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"Oooh pretty!"
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"This tastes funny."
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i bet you I can!
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"OK, now hit the gas."
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"Eat me"
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"Nothing can stop me"
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"what do you mean I'm in for it now?"
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"I hate you."
"what?"
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"Let's go down here"
"Dont worry I know where we are"
"This is a short cut"
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There are some pretty amusing ones here:
http://emacbeth.home.mindspring.com/Quotes/lastwords.html
"We're in luck! The dragon is sleeping"
"Here, hold this rope while I go down."
"I open the coffin...SLOWLY."
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"Hey look! A treasure chest!"
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"You're doing it wrong! Here, let me show you..."
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I'm off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of Oz!
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"No pain, no gain."
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"He's no chaos mutant, he's just piss drunk"
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"Is it meant to be making that sound?"
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One thing that would be awsome to be your last words:
"THIS CANNOT BE?!?"
Not quite as awsome:
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"Are you going my way?"
"You stay here, I'm going to check it out."
"What is that? OH GOD PLEASE DON'T! OH GOD! OH GOD PLEASE! OH-GOD-NO-OH-GOD-OH-GOD!"
"No matter what you hear, stay in this hiding spot. Promisis me... No matter what, you'll stay in this spot and you won't make a sound."
You could also make a whole thread about "Phrases you don't wan't to hear right before you die." Perhaps most notably: "It puts the lotion on it's skin and it does what it's told." or perhaps: "Squeel like a pig, boy."
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One Imperial guardsman to another on Armageddon Prime
"Hey, don't worry about that, it's just a small squig"
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"I'll just follow these directions from Mapquest"
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"trust me"
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"maybe this won't be so bad."
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that wasn't as bad as i was told it would be.
HEY I'M STILL ALIVE!!!!!
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"Were are we going? This sure doesnt't look like a dance hall...
"Hey, sailor! Want a date?"
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*Heard this yesterday while on the dive boat*
*Forth Coastguard, Forth Coastguard this is the Yaght Peak FLow"
*the story is that Forth Coastguard put out an all stations call out to help them rescue som folks who got stranded and heard this guy speaking in a dead posh English accent. as soon as we heard that we took the piss out of him*
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Could I see your ID?
(Sometimes man, sometimes... >:( )
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*Guess what i always wanted to tell you....*
*Did i tell you about....*
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"Have you seen this?"
"Look what I can do"
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"ahhhh!"
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"And you are sitting on it right now"
"There is some thing under my foot"
"oh look an Eagle"
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"I'm sure it's just the wind"
"she seems nice enough"
"hey little fella"
"... of course I don't believe in ghost"
"what are you scared of?"
"hay ma' look what I can do"
"Oh that' makes more sense"
"you guys smell something?"
"well at least we're all okay"
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"Wow, this soup/tea/wine is delicious!"
"That's it, I'm never talking to you again!"
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"my stomach kinda hurts"
"can i try it on?"
"a double blind air bag test you say?"
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"Wow, hard to believe that after 30 years I'm finally retiring tomorrow."
"Sure it's sturdy. Look I can jump on it and it doesn't break."
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"What's that smell? Oh, probably nothing."
"I have to admit, you're not the kind of guy I usually go out with..."
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"We made it you bastards we made it!!"
"We are almost out I can see a light up ahead"
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"This is easy"
"This is going well"
"Stand back, I know what I'm doing, I've seen them do this on TV 100s of times"
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"Let's hitch a lift from this bloke"
"are you going my way?"
"dont worry he is completely harmless"
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"I'm INVINCIBLE!"
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"Oh yeah, oh yeah...i'm coming!!!!"
"Oh yes please touch me there"
"Oh yes, kiss me here"
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"If you say so..."
"that never happens in real life"
"what are ya' chicken?"
"looks like a shortcut"
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Anyone remember the Kohler commercial with the old dying woman who mentions all the places she's been and stuff she's done, making the point that "I've seen and done everything", only to have the last thing she sees be the young woman enjoying her Kohler bathtub through the window across the street, and her last words be "Damn!" ...?
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"Oh ...my ...Gawd!"
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"Hmm... this seafood looks a little sketchy... oh, well."
"I'll take what's behind door number 1!"
"I'll tell you when I've had enough."
"Of course it's not loaded!"
"Need a lift?"
"It's perfectly safe. That stuff only happens in the movies."
"Of course I'm safe to drive."
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"It's only a model"
"Yes I'm sure"
"pull me up pull me up"
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Wait a minute, wait a minute...
We seem to have forgotten the most epic fail last words of all:
"I REFUSE TO DIE!"
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"Awww aint she/he cute"
"Have you started yet?"
"is it in yet?"
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"Really?"
"goodnight"
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"Dont wrorry we are unsinkable"
"dont worry its one of ours"
"I'll be fine wont I?"
"Just tell me that I'll get out of here alive"
"Dont worry you will make it out"
"You are going to be just fine"
"they have first class doctors working here"
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"Okay, so what's the bad news?
"Oh don't be a baby."
"It's just an after dinner mint."
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"Just a little waffer thin mint"
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"it's just a minor surgery isn't it?"
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"The Black Knight always triumphs! ...I'm invincible!!"
"You yellow bastards... Come back here and get what's comin' to ya!"
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"It's only a flesh wound"
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"One dead rabbit comin' right up"
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IT WAS THE SALMON MOUSSE!
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Fool! I have but one weakness, and you will never figure out what it is!
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"Bullets! My one weakness! How did you know?!? :P
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"YOU!"
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A tu, Brutae?
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i knew that would happen
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"Not like this. Not like this!" :(
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Everybody has avoided the most famous one
"AARRRRRRRRRGMMMMMMMMMLAKDSJFLJAEKFNMKJASNDFVAPOWNAESKJDS *dead*"
And all such variances of that >.>
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"Hmmm... That's wierd."
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What the?
How the........?
who the?
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"i don't know"
"he's right behind me. isn't he?"
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Hey, does it look like that guy up there is holding a rifle?
Calm down, you'll make it through this. We all will.
Man, I've done rapids ten times worse than this!
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They don't call me lucky for nothing you know
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i did it!
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Stop worrying, our Bradley's armor can take anything they might fire at us
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dont worry folks once the bulkhead doors are sealed we are completly safe.
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let me out! I need air!
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Welcome to Perth High School
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"Ah the sea! This is the life! The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face!"
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"Cut the blue wire Its always the blue wire"
"Dont worry the slings will hold"
"right that's the last of them"
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Why am I ticking?
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Is it meant to be making that noise?
Hello they call me Odd ;D
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"Tell my girl I loved her.
...Wait.
On second thought, don't bother."
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Wheee!
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"i'm fine"
"oh no i forgot to turn off the oven!"
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"I claim the last peice of cake"
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mmmmmm... forbiddan donut.
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"I'm taking you with me!!!!1" *Self Destruct*
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"GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!!"
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"You're so beautiful." (boy & girl make out)
--> total death sentence in any horror movie
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(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/song-chart-memes-last-words.jpg?w=504&h=263)
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^ Oh like that Pozf ;D ;D
"Which end does the bullets come out of?"
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I-musn't-be-afraid-I-musn't-be-afraid-I-musn't-be-afraid-I-musn't...
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"Don't be silly, there's no such thing as werewolves."
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"Don't worry, they won't touch us... we're Americans for christ's sakes!"
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"It was not me alll i did was just stand here just like you said to do"
"now just one more part to go in"
"all I did was tweak the throttle settings a touch"
"I pronounce you man and wife"
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Cut the blue wire? You sure? OK then ...
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he's right behind me, isn't he?
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Has this one been done?
"We're saved, we're ssssaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvveeeeeeeedddddd"
"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
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You look like a nice guy...
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Hello everybody ;D
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whoops
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Erm
ah
are you sure?
Trust me I'm a doctor
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"So you've got a gun, is that supposed to scare me, punk?"
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"I dont belive it.............You shot me!!"
"This wont hurt a bit"
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"so you are saying that this dog is so well trained that if i point at my throat and say kill...."
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...."but i love you"
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It's me not you
why do I have an anvil instead of a parachute?
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"try this one it's not posionous....see it matches the picture in the book of a completely harmless plant..."
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hello that was not there before
dont worry it will be easy
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(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/song-chart-memes-last-words.jpg?w=504&h=263)
How did I miss seeing this? Hilarious. Picturing all the ways "I love you" would end in death reminds me of black mage hitting on white mage.
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heh thinking about black mage talking about love reminds me that the hadoken syphons love out of the world every time it's used, and the conversation that brought up.
And I don't know how you missed it, quit being sick.
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"nice pie chart can i have a piece?"
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Of course I know how to use it! The pointy end goes in the other guy.
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"eep!"
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you're how old?
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Will you stop doing that....it tickels
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No no no, it doesn't make you look fat... ok well a Little.
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"...and this, cadets, is the minefield, but don't worry, they're all deactivated"
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hey look it's one of ours
dont worry its dead it cant harm you
now if we turn it on its side it cant possibly get stuck going down this small side street
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why should I care?
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I have found the cure!
Dont drop it its the last one
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*singing "the end of the world as we know it" song at a country music concert*
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And I feel fine? thats a R.E.M song ;D
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( heh I love that song)
*yelling "Hippy!" at a general of the German army*
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shouting get a job at bunch of BMXers
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or, you know, just shouting "Get A Job! (ya hosers)"
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"I say nuthing Fun-key!"
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"It's peanut butter Jelly TIME!" as you charge a police roadblock, your old truck bouncing in potholes, your mullet streaming in the wind as you lean out the window to fire at them with ol' Bess, your favourite rifle....
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"I have cadbury's fruit and nut!"
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Hey babe, did you know that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape?
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yar found another graph
(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/128978930962486229.png)
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Dont worry there are no cornices around here.................
This is an area known not to avalanche...................
the weather will be all right for tommorrow's hike
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Now, now Calvin, stay calm and give daddy the gun back...
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its all right to leave the gun case open no one will touch them
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I'm one of the ten most powerful sorcerers in the world... so you better do what I say!
:P
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"Mommy, I don't feel so good..." :(
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no it's not that tunnel it's this one
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Did you remember to bring the spare batteries for the:GPS/Torch/Mobile phone
I gave you the car keys remember!
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This isn't exactly "last words", but it's on a similar enough subject, i.e. "words you wouldn't want to be the last you ever hear."
(http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/tooyoung.png)
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"You don't have the guts to shoot me, ya wuss!"
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Hah. Cyanide and Happiness has some pretty good strips from time to time.
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"I'm just gonna take a look"
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"This looks like a good place to set up camp"
(one of my dad's now) "dont worry that aint a bog just wet grass"
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"The End" :D
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"This looks like a shortcut"
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"dont worry im sure its this wire"
"oh im sure they arnt smart enough to use a murcury detinator"
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"Hold that plastic while I jiggle this electrical stuff out, just don't touch the metal parts"
*said to my boss TODAY as I was removing a fluorescent light bulb which was still turned on from a socket which had come loose from the main parts and was dangling by it's wires in a hard to reach spot.*
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"Yep the electric fence is off so its safe to take it down" :'(
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*Lets just hitchhike there*
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"NO, NOT ME, IT'S YOKO YOU WANT!"
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"It'll be fine, I'm probably not allergic."