Maytag's Playhouse => Hall of Games => Topic started by: akashayi on July 16, 2009, 09:29:16 pm
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This thread is for posting things you hear, out of their original context. Could be stuff from this forum, but stuff from your daily lives would be great!
-"I prefer to always have both hands free to keep a good grip on my weapon"
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" NO! My Balls! Why do you keep knocking my balls out!"
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"Would you like to eat my salty white nuts?" *offers a jar of salted macadamia nuts*
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" The only possible way that happened is if the game wanted me to lose."
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"I need my vicarious smoochies"
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Blowing off a O ring
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"I'm going charge the gates of heaven, with a fork, screaming ' TA IS NOT A WORD!' "
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"I'm no good with the entire chew and swallow thing."
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"so I guess there isn't going to be any head to head action"
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"If it has toes it's not a penis" ~Mr. Grey
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"there's sill some pain and Now it hurts when ever i am walking..."
"its nice but, then you have to watch for shit"
-_-; the occasional first things i hear from people I know when i get to school
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"Wow, this thing is super-extendable!"
(This was quickly followed by "that's what she said.")
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"sorry it got really hard all of a sudden"
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"i need two bone ins and a ten oz butt."
(one of the waitresses at work putting in an order for three steaks.)
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Playing Settlers of Catan -
"I got wood for sheep"
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Is that Uranus?
Reply: No Your Anus is not visible to the naked eye.
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"G as in Jello"
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Is that Uranus?
Reply: No Your Anus is not visible to the naked eye.
Well, until you've been to prison, in which case the trick is to tuck it into your sock.
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"sparkley zombies!"
"i grabbed Muffin thingies!" ~sister aluicious
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"Yogurt is not a murder weapon."
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"Yogurt is not a murder weapon."
Only if you're not creative enough.
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oh I totally agree, I could turn yogurt into a murder weapon easy. I just thought the quote was hilarious.
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"Aye and dont know how long I'll last before falling asleep " >.>
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^ that looks familiar some how :-\
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hehe, it's so much more amusing out of context.
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:-\
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"You might be typing too fast. We're not able to locate the page that you requested. Please check the address and try again. If you're looking for an area on aim.com, browse the site map below or go to our home page."
Seriously aim mail?
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it's all about aim
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It's all in the wrist
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he had this great big thingy
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"I can come in any trousers I want"
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your t-shirt is really nommy tonight
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they banned cat ears because they were "demeaning" thats like banning nike because its demeaning to children
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"You've been fingered a fair bit by the Daily Telegraph"
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"Want anything else now that you're plugged into my ports?"
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"slooowly, slooowly, thaats right.....a little more now....OH SHIT, PULL IT OUT"
...sometime in chem lab you have to heat things in a water bath; sometimes you want to heat them at a very carefully regulated rate so they don't explode; sometimes when you're in late because you messed up an earlier part of the lab and the TA's really want to go home you get a little sloppy with the controls....
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"I knew a guy who was a hobo in philly for 3 years, and he wasn't a alcoholic or drug user or anything.
Really?
Yeah... He's a Canadian now.
So he went down a notch?"
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From an email my father sent me
"Nothing to bad, I think it's just wear and tear on the slut."
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"made from 100% recycled zombies"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...I lost something really important!"
"whaddaya mean something very important?"
"when a girl talks about something very important isn't it obvious what she means?"
"what?!?! You couldn't possibly mean That could you?"
"why are you turning red? oh! you nasty devil!"
;D
_______________________
"the water's boiling"
"There's always pie"~sis
"pie is involved?" ~me
"Pie is always involved"~sis
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"I grabbed the wrong slider"
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"oh shit! I just broke my knob"
"It's like a chocolate shotgun"
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"I used a be a catholic, I used to not eat meat on fridays, and now I don't beat my meat on fridays"
These last few have all been by churba btw
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Kasha - "I demand you Download fat princess, and play with me!"
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"I can get off"
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"you better start crying cuz you're gonna need more lube"
(ah the fun things you hear at a hookah party...)
me: "it's too thick"
rose: "that's what she said."
*laughter*
(anyone care to know what i was actually talking about?)
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"I can hear you spoon"
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I'm just going to whip it out
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"I'd rather deal with a beating then have to go down there"
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"I eat myself out pretty often"
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"it's just so freaking hot."
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"Now where did I put those latex gloves?"
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"It's far too hot to turn it on"
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"the first white person i ever saw was black"
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At least she only had the one tit
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"Just a one time thing with a guy in a parking lot, ya know."
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Wouldn't it be cool to have this 70' walking warmachine in the back yard?
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"but i know she was crazy from the start, i can spot a crazy person from 3 katamari demacy's away"
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"what if it snapped off!?!?!?!? :'( " ~CDSM
"nothing says mother's love like giant platypus butt"
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" I don't just want to rain on your parade, I want to blow up all the floats."
"Your mom is delicious." "Yes, yes she is"
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"You're a geek commodity"~my friend from FL
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"I'm going to whip it out and use it for great justice."
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"Just steak up behind them, stick something in their back and run away!"
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"I have a whacking stick and I whack quite a lot with it"
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David letterman - "I had sex with my staff!"
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"harder than a knight's sword and sharper than a dragon's tooth"
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"My ass hurts, we aren't doing it for that long ever again."
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"My ass hurts, we aren't doing it for that long ever again."
... >.>
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v490/akashayi/funny-pictures-cat-cannot-feel-his-.jpg)
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what I was playing rock band for like 10 or 12 hours, straight, and I have a real bony ass, so even my new stool, with awesome memory foam, it still hurts after a while >.>;
... also I couldn't feel my butt either <.<;
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"it keeps popping off his thing"
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"help me, im watching inuyasha and i can't stop"
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"help me, im watching inuyasha and i can't stop"
I protest, this doesn't need context.
Also, From the radio show
""and I'm not touching what oz is asking me to touch on air...."
(Last season)"Did you see Kate winslet coming as much as I did?"
"Remember, Aural sex is always plesurable, that's a.u.r.a.l as in relating to the ear oh god I just realized that isn't actually any better"
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[22:53:05] Razzly: white stuff in the middle
[22:53:16] Razzly: and then, a bit of berry-cream in the very middle
[22:53:18] Selan: yeah i hate that stuff..
[22:53:26] Selan: especially when it come out after licking it
[22:53:28] Pozf: the white stuff?
[23:18:50] akashayi: I don't want pop in my netherlands, really
[23:35:50] Razzly: now I want meat...
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And you'd attach two together and you'd get dildo-chucks.
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"you have drunk too much canaries." (as requested by Smiles)
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"Nine minutes is too late for insertion" (in cell biology class, regarding insertion of a membrane protein across the endoplasmic reticulum membrane)
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"It's not a clock it's a pitchfork.
And that makes no in context just so everybody knows.
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"It came in my laptop!"
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wait for your bird to catch fire and then throw it at people!
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I'm being Rick rolled in my mind but i don't know the words to the song.
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Its molesting my tongue!
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"We did it the same way but my u is half as big."
"You is me."
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why'd you have to break down the door? it wasn't locked and i just had it painted!
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"It's not okay to poke teachers, but it's okay to poke students." (in a news story about one kid stabbing another kid in the leg with a pencil)
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http://www.glitter-graphics.com/graphics/86315
*chuckles*
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"The Milennium Falcon isn't from Star Wars, it's from Star Trek!"
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i was just about to turn around to do that beautiful princess.
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"So I can shove my stuff in there and it's totally ok?"
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"Orgasm... GO!"
*throws arms out like a DBZ move*
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magic elves made him dissapear to the land of magic corn people
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"The chicken on the stove tells me you're having chicken for dinner."
"Yeah, it's diction great"
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person A: "Can you reach it?
person B:"Not without stretching in an uncomfortable way."
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walking by an office door i heard "and take your shoe too, my ass hurts" o_O
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You realize she's been naughty, and paddle her for 37 (+15) (+1) damage.
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"next I shall be whipping out my organ" as heard on the Paul O' Grady show
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possums have aids! ???
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i want your knowledge inside me
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Your equipment makes your pay so take care of it.
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She winks at you while she sensually rubs ointment on the bruise you just gave her. I won't say where.
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Anyway, naked means you ain't got no clothes on. Nekkid means you ain't got no clothes on, and you're up to no good.
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This sorority girl was on her way to a costume party, and she was, like, dressed as a naughty nurse? Because, like, the sexy stewardess, the sexy pirate, the sexy referee, the sexy rollerskater, the sexy plumber, the sexy train conductor, the sexy papergirl, the sexy carpenter, the sexy auto mechanic, the sexy cable TV technician, the sexy taxi driver, the sexy explorer, the sexy detective, the sexy forensics examiner, the sexy judge, the sexy fast food worker, the sexy cop, the sexy Border Patrol agent, the sexy Robin Hood, the sexy persecuted witch, the sexy mental patient, the sexy teddy bear, and the sexy bee were already taken?
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I think that gave my appetite a boner
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"I like vaginas. They make sense."
"I don't think they make sense. They're like hot, magical pockets."
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You know it's done when it's still bubbling after you pull it out. (fondue)
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It seemed way shorter than that!
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"Should I pull it out now?" (said by a girl in my Cell Biology lab course, after an oral presentation; she was referring to a laptop cord, and yes, she realized the possible dirtiness of what she said).
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"you put your thumb in there and then you pull it up"
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"poking you with a stick is taking advantage of you?"
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"as has been proven, it can be removed with an alarming alacrity"
"it was proven?"
"yeah last night, while you were sleeping"
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"when I nod my head you hit it"
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I never did get that kidney back.
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me:"push it in Chewie"
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I felt that
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"i haven't had this much fun on top since high school!"
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"I'm just happy I'm beating Kelly."
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"What are you gonna do about it?"
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"She likes it if i put my finger in there''
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"Wow, I didn't think your voice went that high..."
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<.<
>.>
"I want some of kashi's frosting"
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"This be ... the shiniest balls I've ever seen!"
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My Grandmother: "I got one of those vibrators and me and your Grandad have been using it every day. Its leaving our bodies all tingly"
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My Grandmother: "I got one of those vibrators and me and your Grandad have been using it every day. Its leaving our bodies all tingly"
(http://www.killsometime.com/Pictures/images/1624.jpg)
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"I had my hands in the right place and everything"
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"Please insert furiously"
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My Grandmother: "I got one of those vibrators and me and your Grandad have been using it every day. Its leaving our bodies all tingly"
(http://www.killsometime.com/Pictures/images/1624.jpg)
(http://www.mfgtrade.com/trade/clients/images/Photo_13674700.jpg)
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"I told you the game has a whine sensor"
"It can tell if you're emulating windows?"
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"can't seem to find it"
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"Item collected... item collected... quest completed... cya later."
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"I didn't feel it either but my boyfriend did"
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"I must have had it in the wrong hole, but Daniel played around with it and got it in the right hole, and now it's good"
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Just get down there and give it a good wiggle
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[2:38:53 AM] Grey: Fuck it hard
[2:40:10 AM] churba: UNF UNF UNF
[2:40:27 AM] Grey: HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
[2:40:47 AM] churba: churba looks at the matching 2:40 AM timestamps
[2:40:51 AM] churba: That didn't take long
[2:40:58 AM] churba: I expected more from you
[2:41:08 AM] Grey: ;_;
[2:41:57 AM] Nine: HAHAHA.
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"I'm unzipping my boobs"
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You need to put that finger in the hole and your thumb in the other.
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I snapped it off and sucked it.
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Have you got his cock?
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[8:20:10 PM] Nine: It's sadly only so small.
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"nuts, especially, but i never eat them alone"
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"Nibble Nobby's Nuts"
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"I keep mashing the konami code but it doesn't give me 30 guys"
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i tend to freeze up when somebody pulls my game out
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Me: look the first ball's geting smaller
smiles: of course it is you're going to suck it til it's all gone.
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" I just spin around and jerk it and then, Bam! right in the face."
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every pipe is tiny compared to mine
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well then, get your ass over here and I'll take off my shirt.
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"I always feel better after I get the spot"
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You should use your Rally so that the Lizard realizes that you are a man and have claimed his land. Then repeatedly bash the lizard in the face.
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"I killed a hooker and put her in my freezer. It's a bit cold, but think of the money I save."
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"...but it's bad to break it off in the bosses ass."
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"That's a pretty big tentacle, kashi"
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Are you sure? 'Cos I don't want to get caught in there.
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*chanting* STRAWBERRY MILKY! STRAWBERRY MILKY!
it only took.. what? two years?... Though due to quantum physics is was only two weeks.
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"Please insert furiously"
*High 5* I totally saw that on Failblog!
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"he bit me with his but!"<sis said to put this movie quote in here. ;D
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"wow ! I didn't know boys felt like this on the inside." ~FLCL
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"Perfect timing, the cat just came."
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"... Did... Did I just get rick roll'd by Chrono Trigger?! "
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"TentaclePron cuddles with you for a while, making you feel much better."
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"steel shiny rod of power"
;D
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"her butt tastes like chicken!"
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[1:10:19 AM] mc_walker: The last thing I heard was "gayer than cum on a moustache" and then a looooong silence
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gGD2sM72Z4&feature=related 'Women hate women' Hillarious and somewhat eerie
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He started to complain about mucus in his throat, so I told him "Now you know how I feel!"
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"there. i got your thingy off of Brion's stick." ~ direct quote from Sister Aluicious to me. :'( ;D
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well if it's two inches away, why don't you just stick it in your mouth?
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That's all i can do with a stick.
(said by me after doing the very special 360 of the arm move with the help of a stick)
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"And then she told me to bend over and take my pants off"
Didnt stay around the person who said this long enough to figure out why he said it haha
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let's have rough sex at the bar every time! -Smiles
"keep it sleazy" (or was it slutty.... it was a really random statement thrown at me as a goodbye)
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it was slutty. ;)
"he likes it under the table" ~said by me ;D
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(On a friend who is deeply, deeply in the closet)
"Look, it's not like it's his fault. Some people don't realise they're gay till they're uvula deep in dick."
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Boss: Duncan! you made a little girl cry!
Me: No no, you heard her, the cooler did.
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Boss: Duncan! you made a little girl cry!
Me: No no, you heard her, the cooler did.
You lady killer, you.
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"yeah, we are coming together"
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"Tell him He's dreamin'!"
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I told you; you had to come in fifteen minutes
Sorry, I got held up.
:-\
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Me:" we;; tjem o cam"
Cousin: " mem oc. tim pong?"
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Can you hold my magic wand for me?
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"And he lifted his rod and a white fluid substance shot out" (more or less a direct quote from harry potter)
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"so you like crabs right?"
;D
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in order of appearance:
African boy
Indian boy
hot girl
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"And he lifted his rod and a white fluid substance shot out" (more or less a direct quote from harry potter)
HOT TIP -
Step one - Replace every instance of the word "wand" in harry potter with "Wang"
Step two - LOL yourself into unconsciousness.
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"And he lifted his rod and a white fluid substance shot out" (more or less a direct quote from harry potter)
HOT TIP -
Step one - Replace every instance of the word "wand" in harry potter with "Wang"
Step two - LOL yourself into unconsciousness.
agreed
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Now I'm full of goo...
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"it's supposed to be squeezed!" ~ sis
later she went on:
"i'm squeeezzing a ball"
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"faster jaime faster"
(btw Jaime is my real first name)
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Slaanesh, lord of perversion is most pleased
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"ah! that feels so good between my legs" ;D
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'I have no idea what something is, till I put it in my mouth"
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You're much larger than my other friends! You're terrifyingly large! It's one thing to know that you're terrifyingly large, but it's another entirely to experience it.
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It's not as bad as having to clean cherry juice out of the back seat of my car. It was sticky...
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"Why is it not opening?" ~implying she could not open her VCR while drunk. Quoting Sis on St Patrick's day.
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"It's time for some Journalism."
"Is that where you stop committing crimes?"
"No, it's where I commit really good crimes."
My Fellow Journalist Max being a foil for my madness back during out radio days.
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"I wasn't trying to tickle you i was trying to fake eat you with my fingers"