Well my I general mental stability is generally in check. I HAVE had a lapses in my stability. The last one was all a blur but, I was in the junkyard shooting the BB gun at some cans one minute, the next minute I was smashing shit with the butt of the gun. Junk cars I think.
That being said if I have one while I'm near someone who is tied up? I somehow doubt that person will be alive. (Most likely dismembered some how) Now depending how this tied up situation occurred it might trigger a break (things that I'm not going to say). The chances are extremely minuscule that this would happen. But I'd rather NOT want to risk something like that happening.
Edit: what... to much?
Not continue to beat down this thread in an off topic ... Rant? Personal exploration? ... But it's really not as simple as that. Like I've said in the past, trust is a problem. Now lets say I find someone I can trust to the extent I can. I'm freaking afraid I Will harm them period. I have self control, but just this back of mind fear...
Yea I'm gonna stop now before I explode crazy goo all over the place.
Sorry guys.
Ninja edits
Irony?? I miss it.
Hey Pozf,
Are you one of the dudes with low sex drive? Cuz I'm just gonna go ahead and say that if you could vent that insane shit (even you yourself used the words "explode" and "goo") you'd probably have the libido of...someone who has epic libido.
I don't want to psychoanalyze you, but it sounds like you've got a lid on it, and if you pop off the lid, all kinds of other shit (lots of it Very Good) would come rushing out as well.
I don't mind the psychoanalysis, it's nice to hear other opinions.
As for the low sex drive, yea I probably do have a low sex drive, I never really think about it, albeit I do watch a fair amount of porn. It's possibly I have an epic sex drive... that... felt weird to type...
well it's my opinion that everyone does if all their channels are flowing smoothly, and I've seen a lot of people become totally different people, or rather become themselves, just by blasting out some suppressed stuff.
but yeah I thought I remembered you talking about watching porn without...well without ... well ahem anyway...y'know, and that seemed pretty foreign to me.
But anyway!!!
Can we make out on this sofa?oh hells furking yes. ;D
I don't mind really
or we could just talk about sex ::)
You could use the way that Freud thinks and turn it into everything we do being a drive for food.
...as far as I'm concerned, it's more legitimate anyway. Chocolate gives you more good-feeling-chemicals than kissing your significant other. ...Actually, to be honest, sometimes I wonder about that one. They did tests, that's what they got, I wasn't there to argue, but... like... Eh, whatever, food is important.
Speaking of, I'm going to go eat. I just used a Brion amount of ellipses, it's apparent that I need to refuel.
Wow, I'd pour my brains out in this thread, but I feel shy now that everyone knows what I look like. Odd, right?
Wow, I'd pour my brains out in this thread, but I feel shy now that everyone knows what I look like. Odd, right?
I need money for shcool! :(That's no mental problem! *boots Ronin in the ass*
Any advice would be apreciated! :(
You know Ronin, you have to grind a bit before you can level up.probably the best answer so far...
Yes, Akasha. I'm a finn.
Keaoden: I get that ALL the time. Especially from my own friends.I didn't want to acknowledge it at first, but this actually was funny.
Keaoden: I get that ALL the time. Especially from my own friends.I didn't want to acknowledge it at first, but this actually was funny.
oh so wait you were serious?
I just assumed it was because irl you act like you do here, which seems to involve intentionally evoking animosity.
so I thought that was a joke, forgive me :D
Mildly negative pessimist = disliked.Yeah so I'm tempted to call you out on that one. I guess since this is the shrink's sofa it's ok?
Impossibly negative pessimist = endearing.
Mildly negative pessimist = disliked.Yeah so I'm tempted to call you out on that one. I guess since this is the shrink's sofa it's ok?
Impossibly negative pessimist = endearing.
Mildly negative pessimist = doesn't get attention
Impossibly negative pessimist = gets attention
it's true though!
That theory holds true for Most emotions that can be conveyed.I'm sorry I don't get what you're saying exactly.
Oh you would think that now wouldn't you. Talk to any registered sex offender.
Sometimes, I really just want to hit somebody. We all have those, yeah...but I'm starting to think I actually need to hit someone. Is there anything that can help stifle my punch list that isn't alive or a pillow? Pillow's aren't that fulfilling to hit.
Sometimes, I really just want to hit somebody. We all have those, yeah...but I'm starting to think I actually need to hit someone. Is there anything that can help stifle my punch list that isn't alive or a pillow? Pillow's aren't that fulfilling to hit.Hitting people can be pretty satisfying and safe also in the right environment, and it has other psychological benefits. Yeah imo it's important to get that shit out on a regular basis. But maybe FPS's can get it done for some.
Ah, right. Getting the proper technique down really adds a lot to your ability to hit things hard. And of course, you'd want to make sure you're punching correctly before you slam on a hard bag. Wrists are delicate things :Pyeah I've been taught the basics of proper technique, but since I haven't practiced it repeatedly I don't feel too good about it. And I've heard you have to start easy on a heavy bag at first. (in my karate class there was very little bag stuff and no pads - there was supposed to be but everybody was a black or brown belt except me, so they never felt like doing it and they didn't really care.)
The muscles that you work out with exercise are still the same muscles you use to hit things with, too. So pushups and the like will also increase your ability to hit.
Twice now I've read "btw" as "by the win".
...fail.
Right now i have a lot of pent up anger and aggression so will be doing some primal screaming any one want to join me?
Yeah, the one I've seen has adjustable heights. So even us short people can slam on them. XDHm...yeah, that sounds like a good idea. :D I forgot how good it feels to work out when you're pissed.
Not exactly what you want for strength training though. Get a pullup bar for your doorway? Do pushups? Lift weights?
I remember sometimes during practice sessions with my old..."practice" I guess, you'd really get in touch with your hatred and anger. Basically three people would hold you tightly (standing up though) and you...practice which just means that you try to let go of your mind and let your body go do whatever it wants to after a prayer to set intention (though a rotating or spinning motion is almost always part of it), but at times, and we did have one group practice where the teacher specifically led us to realize that we hate everyone, most of us just ended up screaming our frcking heads off at the three people holding us (not that it matters who they are, you can pretend they're your mom or whatever). It's pretty cool, and then when the three feel that the energy has built up to a bursting point, they let go and everybody spins free. It actually made me really appreciate those three people afterwards. I mean, it's a subconscious thing, but if you can touch that undercurrent of hatred, of perhaps resentment at the fucking world, and scream it out, then wow! Feels pretty good and then you can handle that feeling better too in the future cuz you're just like oh it's that thing. Yeah I know you.
I have until June 4th to get a haircut. And I haven't had a haircut in almost 5 years.
I don't know if it qualifies as a mental problem, but it's still a problem. And I could probably use some mental support.
I kinda feel like I'm going to be a different person. I'll definately look different. But I don't want to feel different.
Also I have all those little habbits that involve my hair (using it as something convenient to keep my hand busy when I'm nervous) and after it's gone I'll go crazy without those habbits..... :(
I'm super-upset today.
And naturally today is also when I have no one to talk to.
Well I'm feeling better after my cold.
What about your puppy? Can't it just lick all your troubles away?
But yeah, chat here, we'll talk with ya.
Well I'm feeling better after my cold.
What about your puppy? Can't it just lick all your troubles away?
But yeah, chat here, we'll talk with ya.
are you all right Razzly? :(
If you're going to use something for that....why not get something specifically designed for that?Was underage.
If you're going to use something for that....why not get something specifically designed for that?Was underage.
I realized something recently, my mood depends on whether it's dark out or not. Anybody else notice this about themself?
That's completely natural. :] That's why winter-depression exists.
I figure you're stuck with your own thoughts more at night, in the quiet. Maybe that has something to do with it?
Some people also don't do well with being up when it's dark all the time. It drains your energy, since your body is programmed to sleep at night (when it's dark.) I think it might be about the whole "not-enough-vitamins-from-the-sun-thing" too.
Oh man, my mood goes up at least 30 points when the sun is down.It's handy that you know how many mood points you have at any given time. It must help when you're choosing which encounters you can handle before resting.
@Deatzh: I don't know why but I've always found that some exercise seems to actually improve mood as well as body. For some reason, I think we all just feel really positive after we've done some walking or a few squats, push-ups and sit-ups.
Haven't you been reading the threads? *lol* End result is we got home from a weekend with my grandparents and she saw that I'd put roach bombs on the dinning room table and coffee table. She knew I was putting them out before we left but apparently had a severe aversion to me putting them on tables and decided to start a silent treatment and storm about cleaning up and going off at me. It might seem insignificant alone but it was the final straw in a recent spout that covers me not even getting a single kiss since early December and a 1.5 week long silent treatment she gave me around the same time.2. Told the Mrs. that I want a divorceWhy? What happened?
3. Went out and shopped for some Microwave meals.
4. Moved into the spare bedroom.
......................... CORRECT Yourself Partner Family Friends Work | ......................... MINE Partner Yourself Family Friends Work | ......................... HERS Family Friends Work Yourself + Partner |
The idea of a "correct" pyramid of priorities...digs into my flesh like the cruel barbs of Barbatron the Cruel.
.........................
CORRECT
Yourself
Partner
Family
Friends
Work.........................
I agree with the putting yourself first mindset, though.
at the very least, if you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others?
@CDSM: I can only tell you that you're headed for the same disaster I am if you put your partner before yourself. It's not necessarily that she/he is abusive but they'll learn to tread on you because they'll find it works every time since you won't stand up for yourself and demand yourself to be treated fairly.
If you have a need to be social and get out of the house to enjoy time with friends or something, your partner pressures you to not go out and stay at home and you obey then thats fairly serious.
We're talking "NEEDS" rather than "wants" or "desires". Those are fairly important. It suggest things that are necessities or which you shouldn't go without.
If you have a need to be social and get out of the house to enjoy time with friends or something, your partner pressures you to not go out and stay at home and you obey then thats fairly serious.
But if you're saying you're no doormat and if you need to get out and have a life and enjoy it then you'll stand up for yourself and do it then right there you're putting yourself first, as you should, and thus you have the "right" order.
EDIT: Certainly many of us are probably very loyal and accommodating to others but the important thing is that when something important comes to the crunch you'll hold fast to your own needs and core values.
What happened to her? Well... I have some theories and thoughts...
@CDSM: So who are you? Is it different from who you want to be?
Effectively I married a woman who didn't exist and the thing thats kept me going for 5+ years was hoping she would become that woman again. The woman I fell in love with and who made me feel loved every day I was with her. How are things going right now... Pretty bad.
I've had her make a few obvious moves to being a little romantic but She's still avoiding the subject quite a bit so I think I'm going to set a time for us to talk each evening. Probably only need 30 minutes. She's actually booked us a week trip to Fiji which would be great except she's constantly talking about relaxing when she gets there while I'm still wanting to use the opportunity to get out and experience the beaches, forests, water activities and culture. But heck, it's fiji so maybe it'll help something and I can't knocker her down for effort.
But the other major issue thats just come up is that her Granddad is dying... This is her last grandparent and the only one she's ever known. He's 94 years old and her mother is staying with us tonight on her way through to help look after him in his last days/weeks. To give you an idea of her mother's stress over this, she's loosing her last of her original family members (her sister and mother having died some years back).
I'm trying to work out how I continue here as while I hold little or no love for her anymore I'm not a heartless bastard and I certainly care that she's going to be dealing with a family member, who she loves dearly, dying together with the rest of her family's grief while possibly having to explain to them that her marriage has also collapsed and dealing with a divorce. I guess I just continue more gently and slowly than I may have otherwise.
@CDSM: So who are you? Is it different from who you want to be?That is a hell of a question right there. By which I mean an extremely powerful question, if one takes it seriously.
@RoninAngel: *lol* you can read it all from my second post in this page of the thread onwards.
It started with me being significantly abused verbally and emotionally by her over a year ago and now it pretty much boils down to me being unhappy in the relationship and feeling unloved. I don't think I've really felt loved or happy in it for over 5 years. If it was something definitive like cheating then I may have broken it off immediately, but the truth is she changed, or rather, became the person she really was sometime after we married and I've stayed in for many years in the hope that it was something she'd snap out of or that if our circumstances changed (such as having children) then it would become something that made me happy again.
But I've come to the conclusion that children aren't going to change this at all and that I've been in love with the memory of a lie for all these years. I've stopped believing that I need to hold out for her to return to who I fell in love with and I've stopped believing that me loving someone or simply being in a relationship is enough.
But the question is about You. The answer is that you don't really want to be what you think you are, or else you wouldn't be constantly meeting/sticking with people who do not meet your expectations. You truly, deeply, want to be more like them, whether for good reasons or for bad (need-based).@CDSM: So who are you? Is it different from who you want to be?
Eh, I dunno.
I'm just sick of feeling like I have to feel out of place because no one I meet shares my views, values, or interests.
@CDSM: so what are those view, values and interests (high-level, roughly)
@CDSM: So who are you? Is it different from who you want to be?That is a hell of a question right there. By which I mean an extremely powerful question, if one takes it seriously.But the question is about You. The answer is that you don't really want to be what you think you are, or else you wouldn't be constantly meeting/sticking with people who do not meet your expectations. You truly, deeply, want to be more like them, whether for good reasons or for bad (need-based).
And yes, I am going all psychological on you. Sorry about that!
Well...I guess my deal is I grew up having a picture of friendship heavily covered by works of fiction where the "Power of Friendship" was a big deal.
And I lived my life obsessed with the dream of having a close-knit "crew" with whom I could share mutual trust, love, and support.
And I guess I'm distraught because a lot of people are just looking for someone to party with, and I need more from friendship than that.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just really confused over the whole thing.
So...is there a practical approach to this, or...?really? Um, I was trying to say that if you are what you want to be and other people are attracted to that and change to match what you're putting out there, (and/or you end up meeting and hanging out with different folk) then you are...well you're sort of putting your foot down about what you are and what your life is about, rather than letting society around you dictate what you are, or working towards fitting in somehow (which can, however, also be beneficial in some cases). All great people do this, which can be stated as "going against all odds" or etc, etc.
Because the phrase "owning your personal power" doesn't really make any sense to me.
really? Um, I was trying to say that if you are what you want to be and other people are attracted to that and change to match what you're putting out there, (and/or you end up meeting and hanging out with different folk) then you are...well you're sort of putting your foot down about what you are and what your life is about, rather than letting society around you dictate what you are, or working towards fitting in somehow (which can, however, also be beneficial in some cases). All great people do this, which can be stated as "going against all odds" or etc, etc.
And what I meant by "opening another can of worms" is that this is really a whole different thing than trying to sort out your own life, but in truth going towards this ideal in small steps can be really helpful...
Does that make any more sense?
In other words, give less of a shit about what the people around you are thinking, and much more of one about what you yourself are thinking, and then wait for those around you to catch up (or fall behind).
@RoninAngel: *lol* you can read it all from my second post in this page of the thread onwards.
It started with me being significantly abused verbally and emotionally by her over a year ago and now it pretty much boils down to me being unhappy in the relationship and feeling unloved. I don't think I've really felt loved or happy in it for over 5 years. If it was something definitive like cheating then I may have broken it off immediately, but the truth is she changed, or rather, became the person she really was sometime after we married and I've stayed in for many years in the hope that it was something she'd snap out of or that if our circumstances changed (such as having children) then it would become something that made me happy again.
But I've come to the conclusion that children aren't going to change this at all and that I've been in love with the memory of a lie for all these years. I've stopped believing that I need to hold out for her to return to who I fell in love with and I've stopped believing that me loving someone or simply being in a relationship is enough.
Where you are now is an extremely healthy place. Please don't lose that mindset, for whatever reason. You don't sound like you're about to, but children, for example, is one thing that would definitely cloud the issues here, and you happen to be seeing them very clearly right now imo.
@CDSM: Heh, yep UIS has pretty much got it. I suppose flipside actually made the same point when Maytag was talking to Bloody Mary about how she'd given Melter the power to define who she was.
The Psyches often talk about who you really are and who you present to others. We all adjust ourselves to at least a small extent around different people and groups. Sort of making a compromise on our personality to fit in a little better. But any work we make on ourselves to be someone we're not is stressful and the more we compromise or alter about ourselves the more stress we feel as we try to keep up the mask. If we put too much weight on people's opinions we give up more of who we are and become more of who we want them to think we are or who they think you are.
At the same time, don't ever believe that you can't completely change who you are if you want to. The depressed can turn themselves around and find optimism and joy, the lazy wet-blankets can find the drive to (as Nike say) just do it. Someone addicted to drugs can find the will to break their addiction and overcome pressure and urges to return to it.
Why can that work and why is that alright? Because it's not others who are defining you but you who are defining yourself.
On your "power of friendship" ideal... Damn I think you're on to something there. I had the same problem and still do to a small extent. Curse the Lord of the bloody Rings and the fellowship between Frodo and Sam! *lol* It's as bad as those air-brushed model magazines setting unrealistic expectations or standards.
QuoteOn your "power of friendship" ideal... Damn I think you're on to something there. I had the same problem and still do to a small extent. Curse the Lord of the bloody Rings and the fellowship between Frodo and Sam! *lol* It's as bad as those air-brushed model magazines setting unrealistic expectations or standards.
The main difference here (and indeed, the difference between expectations for relationships and expectations for physical reality) is that those kinds of relationships are entirely possible, if people would choose to let them be. Which is why I always make an effort to be that kind of friend, because if I don't, how else will anyone believe it's possible?
Oh hell yeah. I'm that close with a couple of old mates who I've known since high-school and even Primary school (My groomsmen actually). The kind of blokes I'd give $1000+ to if they were in need and who I know would do the same for me in a time of need, etc. Hell, the kinds of blokes who'd drive 8 hours to visit you in a time of emotional crisis and who you'd be comfortable talking to about such things.
I think it's more that we need to understand that not all friendships will, can or need to be at that level. You get mates who you get along with at work but would hardly ever contact outside work hours and who you'd probably loose touch with if either of you changed jobs. You get mates you share a common interest with that you get together with for activities relating to the interest (sports, games, hobbies), but who you probably wouldn't get together with otherwise. You get mates who you'd invite 'round or get together with for lunch or a movie, etc but probably wouldn't share your marital issues with. Granted, many of those may become those very close friends that you treasure in your life, but it's no big worry if they don't.
Heh, I'm reminded of the old saying: "A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sat next to you in the cell"